I read that AGES ago, I think. Or something like it. I lol'd many times.

"I may not trade my rifle for any of the following: Cigarettes, booze, sexual favors, Kalishnikovs, Soviet Armored vehicles, small children, or bootleg CD's."

"Putting red 'Mike and Ike's' ® into a prescription medicine bottle, and then eating them all in a formation is not funny. "