smurf this
What Christmas said j/k
But seriously -
EOFF THE PLAY
Scene 1 - (With optional Sh-i-i-n-e-y soundtrack available somewhere on Newgrounds)
Shiny enter a bar. There Christmas is pouring a gin and tonic. Foa comes in a sits down. Freya is an assitant. Loony Bob looks down in disgust from the ceiling monitor.
So it begins.
Scene 1 - The real first scene.
Vincent approaches the bar. "I'll have a Whitney Houston shake, that's bitters and Pepsi."
He sits down.
Evastio approaches, from out of nowhere, as does Dynast-Kid, Goldenboko, Leen-Leen and Fatal Impurity, obviously.
Frank Zappa music plays on the loudspeaker.
"This is the Central Scrutinizer. Beware the evil admins! Rebellion - etc.!"
But he is soon silenced.
A single gasp is heard from Quinnnykins mopping up vomit in the back. MILF sits down far, far away in the background, and nikotine smokes another cigarette.
*I Hope I don't Fall in Love with You plays, or perhaps Piano Man by Billy Joel*
And then -
NOTHING HAPPENS.
At a certain point Vincent leaves.
To be continued - by somebody.
Last edited by Vincent, Thunder God; 02-19-2023 at 10:28 PM.
Scene -209
Cid is a poor little villager that dreamt of building a bar for misc critters. In order to make his dream come true, he decided to grow some Loony BoBs from his field. To do so, he would need to recruit RSL, a fellow poor but bearded villager to help him in his quest.
He barged into RSL's cottage, ate his porridge and slept on his bed. RSL returned and found a naked Cid asleep, drooling intensely. He woke Cid up and together they crawled into the toliet bowl to the Mushroom Kingdom.
Scene -145
Cid built the bar and worked several Loony Bobs to death. He decided that he would need better quality Loony Bobs. He started to fertilise the Loony Bobs with Chocobo's rotten brains and......
To be continued....
Scene 25 - Enter Del Murder (in past life)
Del Murder: Jeez, we need something new! Something amazing! Some method of understanding Final Fantasy fandom! We need..
(Cid gets a call many years too early)
Cid: Del! Been a while! What're you up to these days?
Del: Oh. nothing much. By the way, what do you think of starting up an FF fansite?
Cid: Sure thing, boss!
(and so)
Eoff is born!
Cid goes onto be a celebrated school teacher or something!
LoonyBob gives up because he can no longer financially support the site/and or can't deal with the maintenance anymore!
But - Del Murder intervenes and the site remains!
Now. onto the fun part.
THE BAR
Here there is a bar! All of the relatively unknown members have returned from Desert Hell to try to understand just what is going on with the forum.
Christmas: Maybe I should try drawing some more profile pictures!
Vincent *has already left* Meh, grumbles.
Fatal Impurity (not really in the show but whatever): Hey - why are we here again? What are we trying to acheive?
Christmas: I have no idea.
Foa *leans over in mock concern but we're not really sure what she's doing in this "scene" either*
Milf: Haha! Take that Quin!
*Quin vomits again*
Freya: *shrugs*
In which Rantzien enters the bar.
Rantz: Hey Foa! Pour me a vermouth on the rocks will ya?
Foa: Sure thing boss!
Rantz: I'm not your boss! I'm a regular user *sighs*
(A sudden reverie)
I remember the old days - when the site used to be popular - boy, the fun we had! And -
(He's cut off by Freya)
Freya: Excuse me Rantz, but I'm afraid I'm going to have to get you to stop waxing philiisophical and just focus on ordering your drink.
Rantz (creativity annuled!): Alright then!
*foa pours the drink and shoots it across the bar*
Rantz: Hey! Thanks ma'am!
fire_of_avalon: N.P!
Loony Bob looks on in distress.
Quin vomits again, looking fondly at some diapers.
Milf: Well, this sure took a turn. But maybe we should inject some political theory later! You know, the FUN stuff. Amirite?
Slothy enters the scene.
Slothy: Neil De Grasse Tyson and Jagmeet Singh are the only valid paths towards climate change action!
Loony Bob, from above: Thanks for that.
Dynast-Kid enters.: Hey everyone. I'm just here to take a few pictures, maybe grab a beer, and leave. Laters!
The mafia are called.
Mafia "Hit Guy": Hi everyone! I'm not really a hit person, or indeed an undercover cop. I'm just here to make fun of the situation, by turning around and walking away!
But it gets better!
Here comes Agent Cooper. In a shocking turn, Kyle McLachlan enters. "Dougie Jones! Jade give two rides!" and, similarly, leaves.
Goldenboko and Leen-Leen are playing chess in the corner.
Goldenboko: What the hell are these people even doing anymore?
Leen-Leen: I dunno!
*sigh*
Jim stood up and headed to the bathroom to relieve himself. After a few mimenta of further self&indulgence he revealed the point of the while tale. T.b.x
Jim's visit to the grocers
After many months trying to understand the burlesque theater, Jim realized he needed groceries. t.b.c
A tragedy continues.
*foa at bar*
ok so how the heck did vtg set this one up
freya: vtg? how the hell could he have anything do with anything? he's barely ben active for years and doesn't really seem to give a smurf about this place half the time
Mif stands, dusts off some imaginary curry rice bits, and takes like one or two steps towards the bar. "Listen up, bar staff, I will now reveal - that it was - someone completely unknow, who may or may not have - "
Vtg enters bar, sits down, asks for "whitney houston shakes."
"ok well i;m here"
Evastio, in his excitment at seeing his old friend of many years past (but only having met him once at the hospital many years before, though they had been good friends, and indeed other than Evastio's axe in psy's game i don;t thihk he;s been mentioned much on this here forum in a long time, but whatever)
Evastio: Hey! AJ! Thank god you're here!
(Andrew, aka VTG) Yup. Seems like I'm here at the bar.
Foa, now seemingly unknowing about any implication of "skulldugerry" that had been (compleltely "unrehearsed") or rather said in a few throwaway lines by our crappy playwright moments before
Foa: Hello, Vincent. It seems you have logged back in. Now you are posting to (someone else's) FF Tragedy thread. As a result, i must now ask, what is the purpose of this scene in which you enter the bar?
VTG: Well, I'll tell you.
TBC
What in gods name has happened and why was I not informed in a more official way!
This is patent and copyright infringement. I am here to exact vengeance on those who have wronged and usurped my brilliance.
VTG contributed to the play more than the number of times u logged in & post for the last few years.
This is principal. You'll hear from my attorneys.
Sure will be hearing from them more than hearing from you!