The insensitivity of all of you sickens me.

[Dignified Pauper]

A message from the Editor of the Inactive EoFF Post!

With all these things about Christmas related threads, I felt that I needed to defend those who are not Christian and instead celebrate Holi-day. (hoe-lee-day). Even if you start saying Channakuh, or Qwanza, or whatever other bogus holiday there is, I will be enraged, so rest assured, there's no pleasing this morally offended civilian.

First off, you Christmas mongerers whore yourselves out to the conglomorates and harp about others saying Happy Holidays. Then, with jamming Christmas down our throats, you cram Saint Nicholas, Mary, Jesus, and Joseph down our throats. The jews cram down Moses and Abraham. Qwanza crams down God only knows what, and well, the other holidays don't matter enough for this reporter to mention.

Well, instead of saying Happy Holidays, I've decided to just create Holi-Day on December 25th. Now, watch as me and my followers cram things at you because you cram it at us. And you harp that Happy Holidays is bad, well so do I, now. I say that they should say "Have a Happy Holi-day!" They will tell tales of the Holi-day Bear who traversed the great arctic in search for trout and other fish. We will cram down the Holi-day Tree decorated with tinsel and lights. We will cram down the fact that the Holi-day Bear comes and brings presents to all the good little boys and girls and eats the others. We will cram down the legends of the ancient times when Holi-day Bear was born in a bale of hey in an igloo around Eskimos. We will denounce the idea that Christianity started America's great premise and instead, we will forge legitimate documents to make the world think America was founded on the Holi-day Premise. We will support the term Happy Holidays because it so closely resembles our own holiday. We will lynch all those who go against us, or excommunicate them, whichever becomes more legal. We will take away morals since those who are not Christian have no morals or standards. We will promote abortion, gay rights, and peace. We will not tolerate war. We will promote freedom of thought, outspoken ideas, and new texts that question what we have believes for so long.

Join the Happy Holi-day (hoe-lee-day) organization and swim among the glory your peers. Denounce Christmas, embrace Happy Holidays and Happy Holi-day and reclaim the rightful spot for America as the beakon of persecution as the Holi-day bear begins eating bad little boys and girls tonight. REJOICE!

I'm Marick D. Pauper with another incredulous story for you. You Stay Classy, Eyes on FF.

[fire_of_avalon]

I can shoot a bear.

[Dignified Pauper]

I can shoot a baby in a manger AND a slow jolly fat man.

[SammieBabe]

Thank you, Marick...this is the funniest thing I've heard all month...

[fire_of_avalon]

1) Since the Ascension, Jesus is immortal. So shoot him all you want, but he'll just come back~

2) Santa has bullet proof skin. I know this because he and I are on good terms. Sup, RSL?

[Dignified Pauper]

Jesus died after being impaled by a spear whilst being crucified. Not to mention he was humiliated. I doubt he shows his face on Earth ever again after an embarrassing defeat like that.



As far as Santa being able to block bullets, it still doesn't stop the fact that he's a fat old man who likes little children. Plus, I'm sure I can just shave off his beard of power whilst he sleeps and then make him vulnerable to the constricting power of the depends so often soils.


Holi-day Bear bridged the gap between Polar Bears and Eskimos and united the two in a symbiotic relationship. He also brings presents to good children and eats bad children. Eating bad children is WAY cooler than giving them coal or telling them to confess their sins and be accepted into heaven. No, Holi-day Bear sends his people to the secret Paradice at the South Pole. It's tropical!

[Masamune·1600]

You will surely be struck down with a carrot, or possibly Eeyore.

[fire_of_avalon]

Santa != Sampson xD

[rubah]

Just go back to Festivus.

*lynched*

[Meat Puppet]

what the hell is the EoFF post?

[Shoeberto]

Just go back to Festivus.

*lynched*

We must wrestle. Festivus isn't over until you pin me!

[rubah]

We must wrestle. Festivus isn't over until you pin me!

You're on, Hsuuall.

[Dignified Pauper]

I'm offended by your blatant disrespect for Holi-day and the other Holidays.

Holi-day bear is gonna eat you come this Holi-day. He's gonna eat you like he does a seal or a walrus. And you'll be helpless. So helpless that not even a stupid baby in a manger could grant you salvation from its mauls. In fact, that baby is so jealous by the cool factor of Holi-day Bear, he's gonna point and laugh and send and deny his own existence and make the world realize Holi-day is the real day we should celebrate and that Christmas is a sham.

[Shoeberto]

I'm offended by your blatant disrespect for Holi-day and the other Holidays.

You kidding me? We don't even get off for Festivus. We're contemplating going on strike again.

[Hawkeye]