Funny Quotes

[Blue-Fire]

What funny quotes have you heard?
1."I'm not mean.You're just a sissy."
2."Men are like dogs...dumb but trainable."(sorry to the guys that read this...i thought this was funny... )
These were the ones I found. . .

[radyk05]

from a movie? from a song?

"Tommy, the tit, is praying. And if he isn't he f***ing should be"
- Turkish from Snatch

"What do you mean I hurt your feelings? I didn't know you had any feelings."
- Megadeth from Peace Sells but Whos Buying

*picks ups a light bulb*
"Hey, another of your ideas fell down."
"How do you know its mine?"
"Because its a 25 watts."
- 25 Watts (uruguayan movie)

[Dark Magic User]

"You laugh at me because I'm different. I laugh at you because you're stupid."
"I'm busy,you're stupid. Have a nice day!"
just something random...i dont remember where i've seen/read them, though...

[Blue-Fire]

"What do you mean I hurt your feelings? I didn't know you had any feelings?"
- Megadeth from Peace Sells but Whos Buying

i've heard that one b4, but i cant remember where...

[kikimm]

Since we're in The Lounge, just pick movie/TV quotes.

I think I'm going to be forever repeating that rap I saw on Reno 911 the other day. The rap, along with "And the installation is freeeeeeeeeee"

xD

[ThroneofDravaris]

“Don’t worry Lois, I just read an interesting book on this sort of thing.”

“Are you sure it was a book? Are you sure it wasn’t nothing?”

“….

…Oh yeah.”

-Peter and Brian, Family Guy

[ZeZipster]

"Tyler sold his soap to department stores at $20 a bar. God knows what they charged. It was beautiful. We were selling rich women their own fat asses back to them."

[Starcrest]

"The conundrum of what happens when 'an unstoppable force meets an imovable object' was solved when Vin Diesle hit himself in the face."

"Chuck Norris once shot a plane out of the sky by pointing at it with his finger and yelling BANG."

[Psydekick]

"My name is agustes gllop I love your chocolate" "I can see that" it doesen't sound to funny but the way Johhny depp says it is really funny.

[Blue-Fire]

i just found a new one:
"You're funny but looks arent everything"

[Markus. D]

Faye Faye, Puff puff, smoke smoke.

- Cowboy Bebop

I found it amuseing.

[Skarr]

“There are three things that I hate... kids, animals, and women with attitudes. So tell me, why are all three of them neatly gathered on our ship?!”

Spike from Cowboy Bebop.

[Suikojowy]

http://bash.org/?75154

Won't directly post it here because of the strong language.

[Skarr]

"b---h, you make my smurfing sausage and egg sandwich when I pay you the smurfing money"

Damn.

Back to stupid cereal mascots...
<Galactic> Lucky Charms.
<Galactic> smurfING LUCKY CHARMS
<Galactic> Lucky can turn the smurfing MOON into a marshmallow, and he can't escape a bunch of smurfing 6 year olds?!?!?
<Galactic> C'mon now, Lucky.
<Galactic> I KNOW your bitch ass has got to have a "Blow the smurfing kids up" spell SOMEWHERE
<Galactic> or make "kid marshamllows" and EAT those bitches.
<Galactic> "They're after me Lucky Charms!"
<Galactic> ....
<Galactic> KILL THEM, BITCH!
<Galactic> I dunno why I went off on this rant here
<Galactic> it's just always bothered me."

Damn. :/

[Buddhist Monkey]

"I love the internet -- Now we've got all these once "gangsta" rappers telling us not to download music because it's stealing." *cough* "Sorry, I'm choking on irony."
- Some comedian.

"They caught us doing some NO parent should see their child engaged in.."
"F@#$ing?"
"No, worse."
"Butt-F@#$ing!?"
- Dante & Randal, Clerks Lost Scene.

"I work at a SH1TTY video store, I want to go to a GOOD video store so I can rent a GOOD movie!"
- Randal, Clerks.