Originally Posted by
Darth Ultimortal
Why DID the chicken cross the road, folks?
That is not the question, the question is:
WHY did the chicken cross th road?
Or possibly,
Why did the CHICKEN cross the road?
The answer:
For many years scientists have been wondering why this strange occurrence, for lack of a better word, occurred. The reason, I shall explain to you now...
You see, the chicken, a young girl in her prime, had just woken up. The previous day, she had had a hard day at the ranch, laying eggs for the horrible screaming offspring she plopped out almost everyday. Except Sundays, which was when she had to go to London to see her brother Sven.
So on this day, which coincidentally WAS Sunday, she woke up from a terrible nightmare. In her nightmare, she had been standing before a road, when all of a sudden Princess Zelda came riding out on a horse, and almost run her over. Then a big scary man came out, this menacing man had scared the life out of the poor chicken, every night for the last month. So she hadn't been getting a lot of sleep.
So, on this particular day, she had a feeling it would all be better. But she sensed a great disturbance in the Force, and knew that tragedy had to come before happiness. But wasn't that always the way, when you're a 24 year old chicken, still fresh to the world but with some experience? Well, she thought it was so.
So she finally hauled herself out of bed and got dressed. She wore a coat on this day, for it was very cold and would probably snow later that day. The two things she had to do were to go shopping, and go see her brother Sven.
Sven, a 33 year old cock, lived in a block of flats in London. He and the Chicken were very close, so therefore always kept in touch and always visited eachother. Sven had a shady past, but was rebuilding his life, and doing good for the world. The Chicken respected him greatfully for this, and brought money with her almost everytime she went to see him, because he was usually in some kind of debt. On this day, however, she did not. She herself was in debt, and needed every dime she earned at the ranch for herself, to feed and cloth her. Things were tight, but she knew she would pull through.
While taking the bus to Sven's block of flats, she wondered...Who was that girl in the dream? And that man, that horrible man...
The bus grinded to a hault, and she went to see her brother.
"Chicken! It's so good to see you!" He said, his face lighting up as she walked through the door.
"It's good to see you, too, Sven!" She beamed.
"Well, come in, it's cold outside."
"Isn't it just..." She replied. It seemed his house was finally looking better, seems the little bit of work he was doing had paid off. She didn't know WHAT work, but he usually came running back to the flat sweating and out of breath, with a sack with the word, "Swag" written on it in his hands, so she supposed it was hard work. And that's what he needed, hard work to keep him busy.
"Listen, Chicken, you don't need to bring money anymore. You don't know how hard it was taking that money from you, but I know it was best. But now I have money again, thankyou so much for bringing me out of darkness..." Sven wiped a tear from his eye.
"Awww, you're my brother, of course I'd help you out of anywhere!" The brother and sister hugged, then went out for the day. Shopping, just as Sven had promised. Things were finally looking up for the both of them.
"So, Sven. What is it that you do?" She asked, as Sven dodged around a police car.
"Well, uhhh...Weelll....Ummm..." Sven looked around nervously.
"Spit it out, Sven, I wanna know what's helping us so much!"
"I've been robbing banks..." Sven mumbled, then looked away in disgrace.
"You WHAT???" The chicken's face lit up with rage.
"Look, I had to! Do you think I could keep on taking money from my beloved sister everyday???"
"No, don't you start with all this nonsense! You can just quit with you're 'beloved's' and your 'sister's'!" The chicken ran away.
"Chicken! Come back!" Sven screamed, not caring who was watching, not caring about the people staring in the street.
"You're mine, Chicken, I love you!!! Just don't go!" But Chicken already had. And she was about to cross the road. Her feet trod on the cold concrete, and she was crossing the road. She was at the other side. Now she was halfway down the street.
The end.
So, you see, THAT is why the chicken crossed the road. Because she had just found out dreadfull news about her brother robbing banks, so she felt the need to go back home, and needed to cross the road to get to the bus stop.
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