Friar: "Here lies the Grail at the Castle Aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh........"
Arthur: "What?"
Friar" "Well, he must've died while carving it."
Arthur: "Oh come on. If he died, he wouldn't bother to carve "ahhhhhhhhhh....", he'd just say it!"
Friar: "Here lies the Grail at the Castle Aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh........"
Arthur: "What?"
Friar" "Well, he must've died while carving it."
Arthur: "Oh come on. If he died, he wouldn't bother to carve "ahhhhhhhhhh....", he'd just say it!"
The entirety of "Every Sperm is Sacred".
Freakin' brilliant.
well this isn't a qoute but i find it really funny
the part where they coming in with the cocnuts impersating a horse gallop
Originally Posted by Episode 25
Practically all of the quotes in The Life of Brian.
The entire scene with the black knight is amazing.
"It's only a flesh-wound!"
Reg: Look, If you're wanting to join the PFJ you'd have to really hate the Romans.
Brian: I do!
Reg: Oh yeah, how much?
Brian:...A lot.
Reg:..Alright your in.
Ah man, that is just classic.(Set: A tobacconist's shop.)
Text on screen: In 1970, the British Empire lay in ruins, and foreign nationalists frequented the streets - many of them Hungarians (not the streets - the foreign nationals). Anyway, many of these Hungarians went into tobacconist's shops to buy cigarettes....
A Hungarian tourist approaches the clerk. The tourist is reading haltingly from a phrase book.
Hungarian: I will not buy this record, it is scratched.
Clerk: Sorry?
Hungarian: I will not buy this record, it is scratched.
Clerk: Uh, no, no, no. This is a tobacconist's.
Hungarian: Ah! I will not buy this *tobacconist's*, it is scratched.
Clerk: No, no, no, no. Tobacco...um...cigarettes (holds up a pack).
Hungarian: Ya! See-gar-ets! Ya! Uh...My hovercraft is full of eels.
Clerk: Sorry?
Hungarian: My hovercraft (pantomimes puffing a cigarette)...is full of eels
(pretends to strike a match).
Clerk: Ahh, matches!
Hungarian: Ya! Ya! Ya! Ya! Do you waaaaant...do you waaaaaant...to come back to my place, bouncy bouncy?
Clerk: Here, I don't think you're using that thing right.
Hungarian: You great poof.
Clerk: That'll be six and six, please.
Hungarian: If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me? I...I am no longer infected.
Clerk: Uh, may I, uh...(takes phrase book, flips through it)...Costs six and six...ah, here we are. (speaks weird Hungarian-sounding words)
Hungarian punches the clerk.
Meanwhile, a policeman on a quiet street cups his ear as if hearing a cry of distress. He sprints for many blocks and finally enters the tobacconist's.
Cop: What's going on here then?
Hungarian: Ah. You have beautiful thighs.
Cop: (looks down at himself) WHAT?!?
Clerk: He hit me!
Hungarian: Drop your panties, Sir William; I cannot wait 'til lunchtime. (points at clerk)
Cop: RIGHT!!! (drags Hungarian away by the arm)
Hungarian: (indignantly) My nipples explode with delight!
"Are you suggesting that coconuts migrate?"
Actually, there's why to many to list, those, are the ones that stick out right now. xD I haven't seen Monty Python in a long time.And the whole parrot sketch.
MandyWhat Star sign is he?
Wise Man Capricorn
MandyCapricorn eh, what are they like?
Wise ManHe is the son of god, our messiah
MandyThats Capricorn is it?
---------------------------------------
Wise Man we were lead by a star
Mandy Lead by a bottle more like
---------------------------------------
Mandy He's not the messiah he's a very naughty boy
---------------------------------------
MandyWhat are all these people doing here?
Brian I think they must have popped by for something
Mandy Popped by?, swarmed by more like
--------------------------------------
ArthurCamelot
LancelotCamelot
GalahadCamelot
Guy pretending to be a horse It's only a model
Arthur shh, Knights i bid you welcome to your new home now let us ride to Camelot
Knights singingWe're the Knights of The Round table
We Dance whene'er able
We do routines and chourus scenes with footwork impeccable
We dine here in camelot
we eat ham and jam and spam a lot
We're Knights of the Round Table
Our Shows are formidable
But many times, we're given rhymes
That are quite unsingable
We're opera mad in camelot
We sing from the diapraghm a lot
In war we're tough and able
Quite indefatigable
Between our quests, we sequin vests
an impersonate Clark Gable
it's a busy life in camalot
Knight SingingI have to push the pram a lot
ArthurOn second thoughts lets not go to Camalot it is a silly place
-----------------------------------
Monk...And the lord spake, saying, "first shall thou take out the holy pin , then thou shalt count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt not count neither count thou two, excepting that thou then procceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who being naughty in my site, shall snuff it.
"You bastards! You vicious, heartless bastards! Look what you've done to him! He's worked his fingers to the bone to make this place what it is, and you come in with your petty feeble quibbling and you grind him into the dirt, this fine, honourable Man, whose boots you are not worthy to kiss. Oh it makes me mad!"
There is no signature here. Move along.
"Your mother was a hamster and your father smelled of elder berries! ...Now go away or I shall taunt you a second time!"
"Who are you that is so wise in the ways of science?"
Number 2: the Larch
I Told you about the rabbit but you said "Noooo it's just a rabbit"
And I like the parts where Arthur would exclaim "Jesus Christ!" in the Britsh accent.
BridgekeeperWhat is your name?
ArthurI am Arthur, King of the Britons
BridgekeeperWhat is your quest?
ArthurI seek the Holy Grail
BridgekeeperWhat is the air speed velocity of an unladen swallow?
ArthurWhat do you mean? An African Swallow or a European swallow?
Bridgekeeper I dont know
(is ejected from bridge)
BevedereHow do you know so much about swallows?
ArthurYou have to know these things when your king
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