Favourite Monty Python Quotes.

[YTDN]

Brian: You are all indivudaul!
Crowd: Yes, we are all individuals!
Brian: You are all different!
Crowd: Yes, We are all different!
Guy: No I'm not!
Crowd: Shhhh!

I love it.

[starseeker]

"And he was brave sir Robin, he bravely ran away, he bravely turned his tail and fled, bravely he chickened out."
I don't know if this is the right order though.

"We are the knights who say Ni"
"Bring us a shrubbery",
"We are the knights who say Ecky-ecky-ecky-f'tang-zoop-boing! Goodem-zoo-owli-zhiv"
"Bring us another shrubbery and arrange them in a two-tier effect with a little path in the middle and cut down the mightiest tree in the forest with a herring."

Both of these are from the Holy Grail

[look_out_below]

Well i always laugh at this scene in The Holy Grail

Arthur approaches an isolated castle guarded by soldiers ( #1 & #2 )
S #1: Where'd you get the coconuts?
A : We found them.
S #1: Found them? In Mercia? The coconut's tropical!
A : What do you mean?
S #1: Well, this is a temperate zone.
A : The swallow may fly south with the sun or the house martin or the plover may seek warmer climes in winter, yet these are not strangers to our land?
S #1: Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?
A : Not at all. They could be carried.
S #1: What? A swallow carrying a coconut?
A: It could grip it by the husk!
S #1: It's not a question of where he grips it! It's a simple question of weight ratios! A five ounce bird could not carry a one pound coconut.
A: Well, it doesn't matter. Will you go and tell your master that Arthur from the Court of Camelot is here.
S #1: Listen. In order to maintain air-speed velocity, a swallow needs to beat its wings forty-three times every second, right?
A: Please!
S #1: Am I right?
A: I'm not interested!
S #2: It could be carried by an African swallow!
S #1: Oh, yeah, an African swallow maybe, but not a European swallow. That's my point.
S #2: Oh, yeah, I agree with that.
A: Will you ask your master if he wants to join my court at Camelot?!
S #1: But then of course a-- African swallows are non-migratory.
S #2: Oh, yeah...
S #1: So they couldn't bring a coconut back anyway...

Also a few Scenes from the Flying circus

Man: "I have trained these mice to squeak at certain frequincies when i hit them with this mallet" man begins hitting mice with mallet
Voices from background: "You sick bastard!!" "I think im going to barf" and so on

Rustic Shepherd: It's my belief that these sheep are laborin' under the misapprehension that they're birds. Observe their be'avior. Take for a start the sheeps' tendency to 'op about the field on their 'ind legs. Now witness their attempts to fly from tree to tree. Notice that they do not so much fly as... plummet.

hunting a moth]
Hank Spim: Well, I follow the moth in the helicopter to lure it away from the flares, and then Roy comes along in the Lockheed Starfighter and attacks it with air-to-air missiles.

Annoucer: "And now for something completely different"

The whole How to Hide skit (involves the blowing up and shooting of man people) and the How to Defend Yourself When Attacked by Someone With Fruit skit.

So many funny things in the Monty Python collection

[fantasyjunkie]

I like that inscription in that cave that ended with "Ahhhhhhhhhhh!" ROFL!

[Endless]

I like that inscription in that cave that ended with "Ahhhhhhhhhhh!" ROFL!

The castle of Arrrrgggggh.

[Holy_Aeris]

S #1: Where'd you get the coconuts?
A : We found them.
S #1: Found them? In Mercia? The coconut's tropical!
A : What do you mean?
S #1: Well, this is a temperate zone.
A : The swallow may fly south with the sun or the house martin or the plover may seek warmer climes in winter, yet these are not strangers to our land?
S #1: Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?
A : Not at all. They could be carried.
S #1: What? A swallow carrying a coconut?
A: It could grip it by the husk!
S #1: It's not a question of where he grips it! It's a simple question of weight ratios! A five ounce bird could not carry a one pound coconut.
A: Well, it doesn't matter. Will you go and tell your master that Arthur from the Court of Camelot is here.
S #1: Listen. In order to maintain air-speed velocity, a swallow needs to beat its wings forty-three times every second, right?
A: Please!
S #1: Am I right?
A: I'm not interested!
S #2: It could be carried by an African swallow!
S #1: Oh, yeah, an African swallow maybe, but not a European swallow. That's my point.
S #2: Oh, yeah, I agree with that.
A: Will you ask your master if he wants to join my court at Camelot?!
S #1: But then of course a-- African swallows are non-migratory.
S #2: Oh, yeah...
S #1: So they couldn't bring a coconut back anyway...
____________

TIM: Follow. But! Follow only if ye be men of valor, for the entrance to this cave is guarded by a creature so foul, so cruel that no man yet has fought with it and lived! Bones of full fifty men lie strewn about its lair. So, brave knights, if you do doubt your courage or your strength, come no further, for death awaits you all with nasty, big, pointy teeth.
ARTHUR: Where?
TIM: There!
ARTHUR: What, behind the rabbit?
TIM: It is the rabbit!
ARTHUR: You silly sod!
TIM: What?
ARTHUR: You got us all worked up!
TIM: Well, that's no ordinary rabbit.
ARTHUR: Ohh.
TIM: That's the most foul, cruel, and bad-tempered rodent you ever set eyes on.
ROBIN: You tit! I soiled my armor I was so scared!
TIM: Look, that rabbit's got a vicious streak a mile wide; it's a killer!
GALAHAD: Get stuffed!
TIM: He'll do you up a treat mate!
GALAHAD: Oh, yeah?
ROBIN: You mangy scots git!
TIM: I'm warning you!
ROBIN: What's he do, nibble your bum?
TIM: He's got huge, sharp-- eh-- he can leap about-- look at the bones!
ARTHUR: Go on, Bors. Chop his head off!
BORS: Right! Silly little bleeder. One rabbit stew comin' right up!

[ Rabbit flies at Bors’s throat and savages him to death }
ROBIN: I done it again!
TIM: I warned you, but did you listen to me? Oh, no, you knew it all, didn't you? Oh, it's just a harmless little bunny, isn't it? Well, it's always the same. I always tell them--
ARTHUR: Oh, shut up!
TIM: Do they listen to me?

Holy Grail is a classic!

[I Don't Need A Name]

"and then the animator had a fatel heart attack and died, the black beast was no more!"

[DynasticJam]

Does it have to be a quote from the movies or the tv series as well?

[Necron]

On the Life of Brian:
'Next. Crucifixion?'
'Ah, no. Freedom'
'What?'
'Eh, freedom for me. They said I hadn't done anything, so I could go free and live on an island somewhere.'
'Oh. Oh, well, that's jolly good. Well, off you go, then.'
'Naa, I'm only pulling your leg. It's crucifixion, really.'
'I see. Uh, very good. Very good. Well, out of the door. One'

That scene cracked me up!

[The Man]

We would like to apologise for the way in which politicians are represented in this programme. It was never our intention to imply that politicians are weak-kneed, political time-servers who are concerned more with their personal vendettas and private power struggles than the problems of government, nor to suggest at any point that they sacrifice their credibility by denying free debate on vital matters in the mistaken impression that party unity comes before the well-being of the people they supposedly represent, nor to imply at any stage that they are squabbling little toadies without an ounce of concern for the vital social problems of today, nor indeed do we intend that viewers should consider them as crabby ulcerous little self-seeking vermin with furry legs and an excessive addiction to alcohol and certain explicit sexual practices which some people might find offensive. We are sorry if this impression has come across.

[DynasticJam]

"And now for something completely different...a man with 3 buttocks."

[K-chan]

The entirety of "Every Sperm is Sacred".

Freakin' brilliant.

Ha! I just watched that this weekend. : D Gawd I love that movie now! Oh, and I loved this bit from the Holy Grail. ^^ Where Arthur's arguing with a couple of peasants:

"King Arthur: I am your king.
Woman: Well I didn't vote for you.
King Arthur: You don't vote for kings.
Woman: Well how'd you become king then?
[Angelic music plays... ]
King Arthur: The Lady of the Lake, her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water, signifying by divine providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. THAT is why I am your king.
Dennis: [interrupting] Listen, strange women lyin' in ponds distributin' swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.
Dennis: Oh, but you can't expect to wield supreme executive power just because some watery tart threw a sword at you.
Dennis: Oh but if I went 'round sayin' I was Emperor, just because some moistened bint lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away.
Dennis: Come and see the violence inherent in the system. Help! Help! I'm being repressed!
King Arthur: Bloody peasant!"

[jrgen]

Am I the only one who thinks The Meaning of Life is sub-Python standard?

[I Don't Need A Name]

"No one expects the spanish inquisition!"

[*~Endless Night~*]

all of holy grail, especially the hwole black knight scene, and the scene with "the knights who say ni"