The only reason anyone read our school newspaper was the message page. Think of it as a more retarded version of the internet, although the grammar was corrected. (My heart genuinely bleeds for the editors)

The messages mainly revolved around person x telling person y that they thought they were "sooooooooooooooo fit", until I discovered it, that is. Soon the page was flooded with people confessing all kinds of things, such as plans for world domination (#1 Take over the school, #2 Create a cult that worships croissants, #3 Invade Poland) Man, I really wish I had saved my copy of that. The poor guy was mocked for two days. TWO WHOLE DAYS! What a great prankster I was! I only wish I was half as good now as I was then.

Of course, then I discovered EoFF, and now I mock all of you instead.

The rest of the paper was filled with crap about the sports teams. The sports teams thought everyone liked them. They didn't.