You Know You Drink Too Much Coffee When:

~You answer the door before people knock.
~Juan Valdez named his donkey after you.
~You ski uphill.
~You get a speeding ticket when you're parked.
~You speed walk in your sleep.
~You haven't blinked since the last lunar eclipse.
~You just completed another sweater. And you don't know how to knit.
~You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.
~You sleep with your eyes open.
~You have to watch videos in fast-forward.
~The only time you're standing still is during an earthquake.
~You lick the coffee pot clean.
~You're the employee of the month at the local coffee shop. And you don't even work there.
~You've worn out your third pair of tennis shoes this week.
~Your eyes stay open when you sneeze.
~You chew on other people's fingernails.
~The nurse needs a scientific calculator to take your pulse.
~Your T-shirt says: Decaf is the Devil's Blend!
~You're so jittery, people use your hands to blend their margaritas.
~You can type sixty words a minute....with your feet.
~You can jump start your car without booster cables.
~The only source of nutrients you have is Sweet and Low.
~You don't sweat...you percolate.
~You've worn out the handle on your favorite mug.
~You go to AA meetings for the free coffee.
~You walk twenty miles on your treadmill before you realize it's not plugged in.
~You forget to unwrap candy bars before eating them.
~You've built a miniature city out of Stir Stix.
~People get dizzy watching you.
~You've worn the finish off of the coffee table.
~The Taster's Choice couple wants to adopt you.