Chicken:Cough cough.
Whole world:AHHHHHHHH!!!GET AWAY FROM MEEEE!!!!
This is a useless joke.
Chicken:Cough cough.
Whole world:AHHHHHHHH!!!GET AWAY FROM MEEEE!!!!
This is a useless joke.
I guess I shall now be posting Chuck Norris jokes...For the rest of the thread...
-Every time Chuck Norris smiles it saves the life of a dying man. Ironically, Chuck Norris only smiles after he kills someone.
-To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer. Chuck Norris smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and aquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong.
-According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.
- Statisticly speaking, you are more likely to be pityed by Mr. T then you are to have feet.
- Mr. T hates displays of arrogance. So to save time, Mr. T Pities all france at once.
- Atlas once complained about Back pains and asked 'Mr. T to hold the world for him. Mr. T agreed on the Condition Atlas would were his gold chains. AFter five minutes of Excrutiating pain Atlas asked for the world back.
-Contrary to popular belief, if there is a fool in the middle of no where and no one around to pity him, Mr. T still will.
Much better than Chuck Norris facts.
![Gh["]sT's Avatar](/user/avatar/avatar20322_3.gif "Gh[\"]sT's Avatar"){kind=avatar}
=)
if u wanna hear proper jokes u wanna see lee evans now he is the funniest man alive honestly
whats pink and fluffy?
pink fluff
Ah, a chance to post my fave joke ever.
Why did the chicken cross the Möbius strip?
To get to the same side!
*Rofles away*
=S
i dont get that at all
A waiter brings a lady her clam chowder, and his thumb is hooked over the cup.
She says, "Waiter, your thumb is in my soup."
He says, "Yeah. I got arthritis and the heat makes it feel better."
She says, "Well, why don't you stick it up your ass?"
He says, "I do that in the kitchen."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Three Blondes were driving to Disneyland. After being in the car for four hours they finally saw a sign that said Disneyland Left so they turned around and went home.
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A guy is swerving down the road and gets pulled over.
The cop says, "You have to take a Breathalyzer test."
The guy says, "I can't. I have asthma, and it will start me on a coughing fit."
The cop says, "Then I have to give you a blood test."
The guy says, "You can't...I'm a hemophiliac, and if you prick me, I'll bleed all over the place."
The cops says, "Then you have to get out of the car and walk a straight line."
The guy says, "I can't."
The cop says, "Why not?"
The guy says, "Because I'm drunk. Didn't you see the way I was driving, you bastard?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
3 Mexicans are in a car. Who's driving?
The policeman
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You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What do you call a man with half a brain? Gifted.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Hello, 911? I need an ambulance."
"What's the problem, sir "
"I accidentally shot my friend I think he may be dead."
"Okay sir, can you make that he's dead? "
"Alright, hold on a minute."
A gunshot is heard.
"Yeah, he's dead. So now what? "
Last edited by McLovin'; 03-09-2006 at 08:08 PM.
Ok this may be a bit dorty so snip if it's too bad.
A young Indian boy goes up to his dad and asks "dad how do you name your kids?"
The Dad smiles and says "well my child we look out the wigwam and name the child after the first thing we see, why so curious 2 dogs smurfing?" (if you can find a more appropriate then go ahead and edit it into the joke right?)
LET THE HAMMER FALL
Why isn't Mexico in the olympics?
Because everyone that can swim, jump, climb, and sprint are already over the border...
Haha I like that one Sephiroth's Cage! Okay here's one:
A blond woman decides she wants to buy a new microwave. So she goes to the store to go buy one. When she gets there she says to the clerk "I want to buy that microwave, how much is it?" The clerk says, "I'm not selling this microwave to you because you're blond." She is outraged but still wants to buy it. So she goes home and dyes her hair. Then she goes to the same store the next day. The same clerk says "No, I'm still not selling you the microwave." So she goes home and changes her outfit then comes back to the same store the next day. The clerk still says, "No, ma'am I told you before that you can't buy the microwave." The woman is finally disgusted and replies, "Why won't you sell me the microwave?!" The clerk responds, "Because it's a TV."
I don't care...I only have Chuck Norris jokes, so too bad!!!
-Chuck Norris's girlfriend once asked him how much wood a woodchuck could chuck if a
woodchuck could chuck wood. He then shouted, "HOW DARE YOU RHYME IN THE
PRESENCE OF CHUCK NORRIS!" and ripped out her throat. Holding his girlfriend's
bloody throat in his hand he bellowed, "Don't f**k with Chuck!" Two years and five
months later he realized the irony of this statement and laughed so hard that anyone
within a hundred mile radius of the blast went deaf.
Who the hell is this Chuck Norris that I keep hearing so freakin much aboot!?!?!
it is said that god created the universe in six days
chuck norris created god with the snap of his fingers
___________________________________________________
chuck norris did not want to be born like a normal child,so he decided to punch his way out his mother's womb
P.S.sorry black angel,but I too know chuck norris jokes
Chuck norris is an Crappy overpayed martial artist actor who did walder texas ranger.
thats not trueOriginally Posted by corncracker
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