Omdz.

You: Are you real or am I having a nightmare?
Santa: Am I real? Are you real? What's a nightmare? Is it a toy?
You: Fall off a cliff you asshole!
Santa: My asshole is in between my two cheeks of my bottom.
You: You're sooo not cool.
Santa: Are you kidding? I'm so cool I crap ice cubes.

Wow.