Great Quotes

[Samuraid]

"Truth cannot be sacrificed at the altar of pretended tolerance. Real tolerance is deference to all ideas, not indifference to the truth." - R. Zacharias

Cogito Ergo Doleo - I think, therefore I am depressed

[SammieBabe]

"I love being married. It's nice to find that one person you want to annoy for the rest of your life." -Rita Rudner

"Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people." - Eleanor Roosevelt

"I met the girl that works at the DoubleTree front desk. She gave me her phone number; it's Zero. I tried to call her from here; some other woman answered. I said, "You sound older." - Mitch Hedberg

[JackNapier]

Aw man Mitch Hedberg (R.I.P.) is the best.

When I was younger I slept in my twin size bed wonderin' where my othere brother was. - Mitch

[Avarice-ness]

He really is...

"I like an escalator man, because an Escalator can never break, It can only become stairs, There will never be an 'escalator temorary out of order' sign, only an 'Escalator temorary stairs, sorry for the conveince'"

<3.

[JackNapier]

lmao, man I've never even heard that one.

[Avarice-ness]

Watch the Comedy Central 30 minute special.

"I think Pizza hut is the cockiest pizza chain on the planet, because pizza hut will accept all competitors(sp) coupons, That makes me wish I had my own Pizza place, Mitch's Pizzaria, this weeks coupon, Unlimited Free Pizza, Special note: Not good at any of the Mitch's Pizza locations, free pizza oven with purchuse of a small coke, Two for Tuesday, Buy one pizza get one franchise free"

[NeoCracker]

"Our government is run by Democrats and Republicans working together. And the only thing stupider than a Democrat or a Republican is when these p!@cks work together. The Republican party is a party of bad Ideas, and the Democratic party is a party of no Ideas. The way it works is a Republican stands up in congress and goes, 'Hey! I got a really bad Idea!" and the democrat goes 'And I can make it SH$ttier!"

"President Bush has given casino's in New Orleans one billion dollars to rebuild, so that people who have not lost their homes will still have the chance to do so."

Both by Lewis Black.

[SoulTaker*]

I love Lewis Black, in one joke he sums up how stupid the government is and school.

"These guys believe that a 350 billion dollar tax cut will stimulate the economy, and they are full of [img]/xxx.gif[/img][img]/xxx.gif[/img][img]/xxx.gif[/img][img]/xxx.gif[/img]. Because they don't know what stimulates the economy. The economy goes up, it goes down, it goes up, it goes down, it goes up, it goes down, nobody knows why the smurf it happens. And I know this because I took economics, and I'd explain it to yea'... but I flunked that course. Not my fault. They taught it at 8 o'clock in the morning. And there is absolute nothing that you can learn out of one bloodshot eye."

[nik0tine]

From a totally awesome bumper sticker.

"No Jesus, no life. Know Jesus, Know life."

And another great one

"Friends don't let friends die without Jesus."

[Dignified Pauper]

"To jaw-jaw is always better than to war-war"
-Winston Churchill

"You cannot simultaneously prevent and prepare for war"
-Albert Einstein

[The Devourer Of Worlds]

"If a man cannot choose, he ceases to be a man."
-Clockwork Orange

"Are you sure it was a book? Are you sure it wasn't nothing?"
-Brian

"For you, the day Bison graced your town was the most important day of your life. But for me: it was Tuesday."
-M. Bison


“Clark Kent is Superman’s critique on the entire human race”
-Bill

“Oh smurf ‘em…If they hadn’t of done what I told them not to do, they'd still be alive."
-Mr Blond

“When you came pulling in here, did you happen to see the sign on my lawn saying 'Dead ####er Storage'? You know why you didn’t see that sign? ‘Cause it ain’t there ‘cause storing dead ####ers ain't any of my smurfing business that’s why!”
-Jimmy

[Bart's Friend Milhouse]

One From Film
Colonel Ehrhardt: Oh, yes. As a matter of fact I saw him on the stage when I was in Warsaw once before the war. What he did to Shakespeare we are doing to Poland.
(To be or not to be ~ 1942)

One From TV
Homer Simpson: Cruel Fate, why do you mock me?

One from Real Life
Clinton: I did not have sex with that woman

One From a Video Game
Tiny squash puny kart!
(Crash Team Racing ~ PS)