Plenty of people have survived shark bites. Sheesh.

Quote Originally Posted by Dane Cook
A guy in the news, again, the other day. A couple days ago, he got bit a shark. The shark let him go. He was telling the story, they brought him back to the beach. Which is just where he wants to smurfing be, anywhere near the ocean again. And the news reporter was like, "What happened? Why did the shark attack you? Were you taunting it?" "Yeah, I go in the sea sometimes just to smurf around with the sharks. I have this thing called a Shark Rocket and I shoot it at them. And it really annoys them. And then I just wade there in the water and they come at me. But I'm really good at eluding them. I know this hip move, it's something porpoises do and I then I pretend that I have a bottleneck and I stab them in the gills. And it really is effective......"How did you get away?" "I just punched it and it let me go. Let's recap this a smurfin' shark come throught the water...right and this guy...Hey! The smurfin' shark goes over to this guy...bites, this guy punches it in the face and a shark goes ALRIGHT! And tell me there's no time in your life when you swim faster than when a smurfin' shark lets you go, your just like aahhh no, your on the beach aahhh no! smurfing shark let's you go and if you don't get pussy with that story, you want to see my scar.