EOFF RPG Giveaway Contest (Win FFIII for the SNES)

[Doomie]

Today on Jerry Springer...

"A distraut mother is here today because she wants to show the world what a sleezebag her "boyfriend" is. Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to welcome to the show, Miss Miriel Earth, otherwise known as Mother Earth."

*music plays*

"Welcome Mother, How's it going?"
"How do you ****in' think it's goin' you muther****er?!"
"Sounds good, now, let's hear your story"

"Anything to show the world what a ****in' douchebag this guy is. I have some pictures too. Anyway, here's what happened.

I was distraut. Crying. A lot. I was in a lot of pain. All of a sudden this man comes. He sweet talks me. Ohhhh did he sweet talk me. Next thing we know, he's shoving his rod in my hole.



That's right. He stick his little worm in there and jerked around a bit. Probably hoping that by the end of the night he would be able to smell the fish in the air. We fell asleep in each others arms, and when I woke up, he wasn't there! Pissed off as I was, I decided to turn on the TV, hoping some Family Feud would cheer me up. Next thing you know, Amateur Slumber Party VIII is on, and I see this guy riding someone else! He's going as fast as he can, then BAM everything is wet and smelly and it looks like he's having the time of his life!



But oh nononono, I wasn't gonna give up that easily! I would make sure he lived the rest of his life in misery. So I hired some goons to catch him and send him off to an empty farm alongside John Kerry. No one would be able to last there!



Triumphant that I had finally succeeded at having revenge on that scum, I set off for work. I drove accross the bridge, and what do I see?




HIS CHILDREN! Looks like the cock was working overtime there. I felt bad for the women there. She let him take advantage of her, and now she's left with a dozen children and no one to pay child support. These kids will probably end up on the streets. The women will probably grow up to be hookers, giving up their breast to the first poacher they see, and the boys will end up being cocks like their father.

I WARN ALL YOU WOMEN OUT THERE! DON'T BE TAKEN IN BY SUCH A FOOL! HE IS A SLEEZEBAG! DON'T LET HIM TAKE ADVANTAGE OF YOU! STAND UP TO HIM!

[theundeadhero]

This week was a tough choice.

Of course Psychotic is the winner.

OH, WAIT! His check didn't clear the bank. Old Manus is the winner of a not so new and not really shiny copy of FFIII!

[Old Manus]

I win so hard.

[Leeza]

That was a good story.