When Squall finds out that Laguna is his father...

Squall: Laguna Loire, you killed my father!
Laguna: No, Squall Leonhart, I AM YOUR MOTHER!!! No wait, father, yeah, that's it, father. No, Squall Leonhart, I AM YOUR FATHER!!!
Squall: But you're only 10 years older than me!
Laguna: Who gives a damn. Anyways, you know what this means...?
Squall: Yea...
Laguna and Squall: We are family~! I got all my sisters with me~!
Laguna: Wait a minute... I don't have a sister!
Rinoa: Squallypoo~!
Right now, Squall is thinking of getting his Lionheart gunblade and chopping Rinoa's head off with it

Another time, another day, another place.

Laguna: Selphie...
Selphie: ...Yea? What?
Laguna: *Kneels, takes out a red velvet box and opens it in front of Selphie* Selphie, will you marry me?
Selphie: Hell no! *Whacks him with her Strange Vision weapon*
Laguna: It was just a joke...*Rubs forehead*

About 5 minutes later...

Laguna: *Kneels, takes out a red velvet box and opens it in front of Quistis* Quistis, will you marry me?
Quistis: Let me think about that... NO! *Whips Laguna with her Save the Queen weapon*
Laguna: *Rubs back* But I'm desperate!

About 5 minutes later... again...

Laguna: *Kneels, takes out a red velvet box and opens it in front of Rinoa* Rinoa, will you marry me?
Rinoa: Sorry, but I'm engaged to Squall, even though we're going to marry in another 8 years. Right, Squall? *Winks at him*
Squall: That's right!
Laguna: Then I have no other choice.

About 5 minutes later... again...

Laguna: *Kneels, takes out a red velvet box and opens it in front of Irvine* Irvine, will you marry me?
Irvine: Sorry, man, but I'm like, a hippie now, and I'm like, with Selphie. She's like, totally my type man. She's all into, like this "Love and Peace" stuff. Later. *Does peace sign*
Laguna: Only one more option.

About another 5 minutes...This is the last time, I promise...

Laguna: *Kneels, takes out a red velvet box and opens it in front of Zell* Zell, will you marry me?
Seifer: *Suddenly comes out of nowhere* HE'S MINE, YOU PLAYER!!!
Laguna: Then, Seifer, will you marry me?
Seifer: Only if you teach me how to do that Desperado move of yours.
Laguna: No way, man! That's a secret! When will I get married?

Another 5 minutes later...Seriously, this is the last time...

Laguna: *Kneels, takes out a red velvet box and opens it in front of Shiva* Shiva, will you marry me?
Shiva: Yes! I will! *Puts on ring and starts kissing Laguna*

Another 5 minutes later...Trust me, this will be the last time...

Squall: Shiva! You killed my father!
Shiva: I did not! I'm his wife now! But I did freeze him...
Laguna is seen stuck on the ground, perfectly frozen in a kissing position
Rinoa: Don't worry, I can fix this. *Casts Firaga on the Laguna-ice-statue*
Laguna: Aaaaaaaarrrrrggggghhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!! Hot! Hot! Hot! Sexy! AAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!
Rinoa: *Casts Water on Laguna* All better! *Dusts hands*

~*~FIN~*~