Alright here goes

My mum is a constant nag and always blames me. She comes home stressed from work, I know she works hard but thats no reason to take it out on me. She's always telling me I don't do well enough and doesnt like to share. She's always going on about excersise and buying food health books, she always nags till she gets her own way.

My dad is an ape!! He bangs his chest, speaks in a weird made-up dialect which I've come to understand (e.g "dyou want some nosh?"="do you want some food?") He shares my birthday, XD, don't hold it against him but it is annoying . He doesnt listen to others. At the table he'll say, "you want some nosh? You sure? But its so good? Just have a taste? You should try some at least! You sure?" No way is my boyfriend ever having tea with that!