Little known fact. Dave has so much power over hair, that he somehow mind controls "Chuck Norris" and sends him on killing sprees at Gay Bars all across San Francisco (which is astoudning in it's own right, considering Chuck Norris is so much man that San Francisco wqould normally cause him to ignite in a flame that would set the earth on fire, becoming a second sun and incinerating the nearest five planets) to scalp all of the gay and Metrosexual men. He then has chuck norris present him with these perfectly styled scalps, which he uses on a three month basis in wig form. In this way, he continually has perfectionist hairstyles, while himself being entirely bald.