The EoFF Decathlon (actually a pentathlon) '06 - Results and such.

[Lenna]

19.02 EST FRIDAY - 2 Hours 58 Minutes to go!

[Rase]

I actually liked this round.

[Shoden]

I actually liked this round.

Do you want to be shot? I wouldn't exactly say that in front of the haters you know. It sucked, end of discussion...

[Agent Proto]

Finally, let's get this round's voting started.

The entries shall now be revealed, and everyone can start voting for their three favorites.

Round Three Entries.

A.
Is your crotch worn out? Tired trying to figure out what it is exactly that they want you to 'cram'? Come to Rejoke, Eizon's only joke recycling plant. Located in the heart of Walrus City, Rejoke gives you CASH for all your old one-liners and inside quips. We specialize in:

putting people's heads on other pictures
posting the same fake picture of yourself over and over
owls emoting internet slang
purposeful bad grammar and spelling
elitism
second accounts
Chuck Norris
abusing swear filters
joke temp bans
Raistlin's LiveJournal
drawings of things caught in a blizzard

Come in today and receive a free light bulb with every deposit. And don't forget, April 1st is triple coupon day. We're dead serious!




B.
1. Phil's Blubber House (Resturant)

2. IIden's Folly, Rysa
3. The only place in all of Eizon where you can get authentic whale blubber at incr-edible prices! Situated in the heart of Rysa biggest city, Phil's Blubber House only serves the freshest blubber available. If you'd like, we'll even drag the 150-ton creature to your table and cut it up right in front of you, we care THAT much. We also serve various other kinds of sea animals, such as sea cucumber, jellyfish jelly, and WALRUS! So come on down today and have what's bascially a marine animals fat tissue!
(This company is modeled after McDonalds Inc.)

C.
1. Company name: Greasy Hank's Terrible Decathlon Entries inc.

(OPTIONAL!!!!) logo:



2. Located: Psychoticville, the true home of poor puns and jaded jokes.

3. So, want to win that Decathlon, eh? Think you're a real comedian, do you? Well cram this into your pie hole: CHERRY PIE! YOU'RE NOTHING! So why bother toiling for hours on a pathetic entry when we can whip one up that's just as bad in nanoseconds? 100% guaranteed to make the voters turn up their noses at our patented Non Sequitur™ technology, and award their votes to most popular members instead. If you would like to see an example of our fine produce, that's great: You're experiencing the non-stop thrill ride right now!

The company most resembled IRL: Jim Carrey.

D.
VincentLand's Cosplay~ Weird clothes for weird people.

It's in Vincentland!

The main product for sell is cosplay clothing and accessories. Also sells anime, little figurines, and video game soundtracks.

E.
Float!


Loaction: On the shiny blue of The Verial. I'm not exactly sure where but, it'll be fun trying to find this place! You'll know when you see Floaty, I'm just on a plank of wood. Hopefully with a successful year, we'll gain a roof, or more space.

What I see: Well, I've got a leg, my friend turned into a zombie, so they can sell, as many T-shirts as I have on my back... uhhh... well, you'll have to come here to see what you want! Oh please come here! I just want to steal your ship/boat/or whatever you used to get here so that I can find land! I can't cook out here because, if I make a fire my plank will burn to a crisp, and last I checked, it's very difficult to float on these. I'LL SELL MYSELF JUST COME SAVE ME! Please?

F.

Name: Agent Proto/Dignified Pauper Productions
Location: Ultima City
Service: Hello, citizens of Eizon! We at AP/DP Productions are here to announce that we're going to change your lives forever, for the better! We're sure you know, as we do, that many citizens here in Eizon like to run events and competitions for the public here. Hell, you've maybe even thought about doing one yourself, right? But it's hard. It's a dog eat dog world out there in Eizon competition land, and not everyone has the ability to create a competition up to the standards of Eizon. Your unofficial decathlon failing badly? Sig contest disappearing off the face of the planet before you even get started? This is where AP/DP Productions steps in!

Our top creative team, consisting of Agent Proto, is sure to give you the silly ideas for rounds you need for your competitions. Proto has a long track record of silly ideas, most of which involve him re-joining staff, so you're guaranteed many rounds that make no sense for your competition. Remember folks, this is the legendary mind behind the "Create your own Eizon business" round! You get exactly what you pay for with AP/DP.

Or, if you're not exactly thrilled with the idea of maintaining a project on Eizon, but would like to feel special for a moment, why not just create your idea and give us a call! We'll send our very own Marick "Dignified Pauper" over to take charge and let the whole thing fall to pieces within a week, so you don't have to bother! But hey, at least you tried.

If we were to compare ourselves with a business from the real world...well. We sell silly ideas to people, so I'm going to have to say we're most like the Nintendo Product Naming squad!

As you see, AP/DP offers the very best in Eizon event masterminding. We have served some of the most well known people of all time! See for yourself!


Caption: "Tupac was delighted with Agent Proto's 'draw a 60x82 pixel image of a gat" round"

So, don't hesitate. Call AP/DP today!

G.
you BROKE my LIFE co.

Logo:


Location: Teardrop, Eizon
Similar company: Ghostbusters

Product/Service: Assistance in killing those insensitive to the major problems of others!

you BROKE my LIFE co. dispatches a variety of well trained indivuduals to assist those who are insensitive to the major problems of others! People not giving you pity for your boyfriend of 2 weeks dumping you on Myspace? Have them killed! Thinking of killing yourself because of what other people say to you on an internet message board? Don't kill yourself! Kill them! People not appreciating the pictures you took of your stupid LIFE!!!!!? Don't tolerate that! Someone refusing to give money to the African people and thus being guilty of killing 30,000 Africans a day, the selfish bastard? Hire us! Call 1-800-GROWUP.

H.
1) 'Your Ryeness'
2) Ryeonia
3) A business that specialises in baking fresh rye bread each and every morning, using the highest quality wheat imported daily from recently-declared-free-from-bird-flu Wheat Island. Think of the most exquisite, high-class bakery you can and 'Your Ryeness' is refreshing different. As well as quality-ish bread, this business also sells inappropriately named coffees (The Ryekachino keeps you awake for weeks with it's satisfying blend of Ryebeans and chewing gum scraped fresh from underneath the tables). The menu is best described as exotic. The locals love it, and the emo decore makes for some great atmosphere. Top food critics have given the place nine thumbs up. As a result, nine members of the community have learnt to think that the glass is half full.

I.
1: Polly Dolly Inc - Logo =
Polly Dolly Inc! Situated in Ironwood - Rysa.
The best Custom-Made Dolls around!. We specialise in creating the best Celebrity dolls, focusing mostly on Political celebs. All you have to do is choose a favourite fictional character, name your favourite celeb and we will create your Polly Dolly within minutes! You can find our Polly Dolly service available at http://www.PollyDollyInc.net. Refunds and Returns available : Special Circumstances Apply. You can find many other Celebrity dolls at Mattel Celebrity Dolls!

J.
LOVE INC.


We are located in the outskirts of Psychoticville and can be reached at our toll free number 1-800-79L-OSER. We are a company that understands the male or female plight of being Loveless in this day and age. By golly, because finding true love might not happen to everyone we offer you that opportunity.

Packages


Our $1000 packages include your standard super model type…



Our$5000 packages include the girl next door type that gets your hormones in all that twist.



Our $10,000 packages include yep you guessed it…beautiful cosplayers baby.



Please if you have inquiries please don’t contact…remember the golden rule and our motto “IF YOU GET CAUGHT…YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN BABY”

K.


Is spam getting you down? Do people constantly annoy you in the streets? Are giant tinned foods falling from the sky and getting in the way of YOUR lifestyle?

Then look no further than...

SPAMBUSTERS!

At long last, a company designed to help you out where it matters; For the sake of your insanity/privacy. We offer a conclusive plan across all continents* in all countries** with the following benefits;

===110% LESS SPAM THAN BEFORE===
===98% OF ALL SUPERFLUOUS COMMUNICAE STOPPED===
===REMOVAL OF ALL LOCAL SOURCES OF ANNOYANCE (YES, EVEN OLBIES!)===

All this for the low, low price of ten million Gil? Surely it can't get much better than this. But wait, there's more!

Sign up for our Premium Package, and you'll also get one of the following free gifts;

- An attractive cuckoo clock with authetic Loony BoB chimes on the hour, every hour
- A spade as autographed by Psychotic***
- An entire collection on DVD of Big D's short-run but critically acclaimed sitcom about his time working for a light fitting company: "D-lightful"
- An all expenses paid trip around the circumferance of the Sephxian Ocean****

Not only that, but you also recieve;

===COVERAGE DAY AND NIGHT, EVEN WHEN YOU'RE AWAKE/ASLEEP===
===PORTABLE NOOB->ENGLISH TRANSLATION PDA*****===
==="BAN-STICK"===

And Spambuster's very own patent-pending "Arguement-O-Tron". Simple plug it in, set it away, and watch the arguements resolve themselves without wasting your precious time!

You'd expect to pay your immortal soul for all of this, and you'd be right! But if you act now we can guarantee at least five years in limbo before your inevitable fall into the pits of Hades. It's an offer that isn't worth missing!

So what are you waiting for? Pick up the carrier pigeon and send your details to;

Spambusters
123 Scam Driveway
Krakenpolis
Sai Estrana
I3U RMNE

Don't delay, courier today!

*Disincluding the far northern continent, far south and anywhere remotely related to the number four
**Disincluding all countries with the letters "P" "M" and "O"
***Spade may or may not actually be signed by Psychotic but by someone much less popular than him, like Meatpuppet
****To be confirmed, may be a dingy round the Gulf of Caronea
*****PDA requires AA batteries, which don't actually exsist yet. As such product may not work to full satisfaction.

L.
1a. The Red Cloud Import Company
1b.


2. Provo, Mulletopia
3a. Importer of Foreign Goods in the Southwest hemisphere. We sell our imports through our own stores.
3b. IRL similarity: http://www.worldmarket.com/home.jsp

M.
Name: Llama Goatse inc.
Location: Lumarin, Dancia.
Product: illegal chinese fireworks.

These crappy legal fireworks all suck, it's up to us to give you all the joy of the cool stuff....

N.
1. Stick in the Butt Co.

"Because some of us actually want the stick to stay in our butt."

2. Tranquil, Caronea. Ironic, no?


3. We sell sticks to people who have an issue and would like to keep a stick up their butt to make them more anal about a situation (get it? Enjoy that joke, because people with sticks up their butt don't make many). Is someone not taking your feedback thread demanding a new smilie seriously? Do people keep telling you to chill out when you're screaming at people about spamming? Has the staff ever laughed at you when you seriously suggested that banned members should be able to pay to get unbanned? Well, the best solution is not to actually chill out and not get frustrated over it - instead, you should buy a stick from us, stick it far up your butt, and keep on arguing until you're blue in the face! If you get tired of actually arguing about the topic, other good options are to complain about how no one takes you seriously or blame everyone for hating you somehow for not listenting to your inane ideas (see this thread for a perfect example of how to do it).

And remember: if someone ever tells you to take that stick out of your butt, you should say "what if some of us actually want the stick to stay in our butt?"

You have till Tuesday at 10 PM EST to send in your votes. Good luck to the contestants!

lolz, I messed up again, I'm too lazy to fix it, so there will be two seperate F entries. F1 and F2, and two seperate I entries. I1 and I2.

Edit: Added one extra entra due to fact entry was sent earlier but contestant had problems with his/her PM inbox, I allowed it in. Also fixed the Entries so no F1, F2, I1, and I2 entries. Sorry about that. Everything is fixed. Send me your votes by Tuesday, 10 PM EST.

[DK]

Do we vote for the top 3 again?

Edit: also there are two F's. :D

Edit2: lazy shiet xD

[Psychotic]

Is it wrong that I can easily recognise who made 5 or so of these?

[Faris]

Is it wrong that I can easily recognise who made 5 or so of these?

You're not the only one.

Okay, I recognise, like, 2 or 3

[Del Murder]

The irony here is that the Spambusters entry is structured a lot like a spam advertisement.

I belive the one I just voted for is Psychotic's. We'll see if I'm right. He either wrote this one or Spambusters.

[-N-]

Is this what you do to me while I hike Mt. Doom? Sneak in Decathlon rounds? You and Lynx both can suck my left... finger. To the left. Of the middle one. GODDAMMIT PROTO

[Captain Maxx Power]

Looking at these entries, it's obvious to me that these are nothing short of insanity made flesh.

[Rye]

I am not approving of all of these things in Ryeonia. xD Especially ones mentioning emo decore.

Though yeah, I think I figured out at least 4 of whos is whos.

[Gh["]sT]

i anit doing this challenge it seems abit boring i will wait until the next challenge comes

[Shoden]

I bet mine is gonna get minus votes this time.

[DeathKnight]

i anit doing this challenge it seems abit boring i will wait until the next challenge comes

ditto

[Gh["]sT]

rite on brother lol praise it lol xD