I love KFC. It is juicy and delicious. It's my firm belief that the more pain that is inflicted onto an animal the tastier it becomes for my human consumption. That's why i'm at the top of the freaking food chain, because i have the power and desire to destroy lesser beings for my own delicious consumption, in horribly painful and cruel ways.

How do you make a steak tastier? you beat it. With a mallet. it's called "tenderizing." More abuse = more flavor.

Then you take it, and you throw it on a grill and ritualistically burn and scar it over and over again, for 15 or 20 minutes at a time. MMMMMMMMMMMM juicy.

then you hack at it with a knife and fork, drag it through sauces and munch on it.

All KFC is doing is making sure i don't have to take the time to beat the hell out of my food before i can enjoy all of those juicy flavorful beak free chicken bites. They do the abusing, so you don't have to.

EAT CHICKEN. TASTES GOOD.