9/11/01 -12:16am
Well, technically, yesterday was fun...since it is past midnight I have to call it yesterday becasue that is correct for a diary...
well, i puked because I got food poisoned and I saw a cool Tool concert the day before yesterday...thats all that happened!
September 11th, 2001.
'Nuff said.
September 11, 2001 8:24pm
Today was quite a day.. *sighs* I woke up today with a phone call that was completely unbelieveable.
"hey hun, it's Chrissy. Turn on your tv."
"hey Chris. Why?"
"a plane just crashed into the workld trade center, Danni that's like 45 minutes from here!!"
O_O!! *turns on tv as second plane connects*
"oh my dear god...."
"what, what happened? I'm in the car."
"a second one just crashed."
*dead silence*
so my day started out with me being shocked, and disbelieving. I came online and a lot of people messaged me all at once. Simon told Mikael to tell me to get on ym, so I did. He called me not too long after. I was still in shock at this point, and horror.. realizing I know people who work there, or around there. O_O;;
I watched Cnn live all day long.. I tried a few times to change the channel but I couldn't. My mood changed as I watched more and more. I felt incredibly sad that someone could do this. I cried at one point. Then i went into anger, and quite honestly wanted whoever had done this to die slowly and painfully.
Then I went into thought mode. I thought that violence only begets even more violence, and we most certainly don't need more of that.
My thoughts are still a bit off and jumbled right now.. I'm not going to say more, except I love you all and be safe *hugs everyone* Blessed be
The only stars in my sky are the ones i haven't let fall down yet.
September 11, 2001 11:10 PM
Today added a lot to the hopeless, bitter, angry resentment I feel towards the world. I've always felt that life was a battle. It's me versus the world. Today just goes to remind me that the world always wins. Everyone else fights the same battle, knowingly or unknowingly. Each of us fights alone, and it's impossible to win.
But we have to do what we have to do. Giving up has never been an option. We just have to take what life throws at us and deal with it if possible.
09.11.01, 10:27PM.
____________________
September 11th. Another "day that will live in infamy."
I cannot begin to understand this terrible day. Today, the world stood still. At 6:45, I woke up to go to prepare for school. At that same instant, in New York City, the world changed forever. I wouldn't know until at least 8:30... But it had happened. It truly is "The end of the world as we know it." The world is far from ending, I know- but the old way will never be back, I don't think. Not for a very, very long time, anyways.
I look back on the way we used to live, and think "Good lord, I miss it already." Like Unne said... It's one against the world. The world simutaneously won 6.5 billion games, today. No one will go unaffected, I don't think. The economy is already dropping, and our attention is diverted.
Yes, I am being dramatic. But it is still true. I sit and think "My God. The Twin Towers- the Twin Towers- are gone. The Pentagon is about 1/6th ruined. The Pentagon, for Christ's sake! Today was a huge "Wake up call," I think. Again, like Unne said, it's another brick in the wall- a huge brick in the wall.
I wonder, now... What kind of world will I be in, when I wake up, tomorrow? Certainly not the same world as this morning, when my greatest woe was being unable to drag my arse out of bed. There is a garish shadow hanging over the world, right now. I would look outside today, into bright sunlight, and think 'how inappropriate." Sunlight, and the simple things in life, will not look quite the same for an incredibly long time. I won't be able to stroll on the pier and contemplate the cosmos, anymore, without thinking 'gee, I wonder what's going down on CNN.' or 'man, the world is a sad, sad place.'
We all sing a terrible ballad, but I fear the allegro has yet to come.
[edit: I'd like to make note of my error... The World Trade Centers weren't attacked until about 8:00, my time. Forgive my inaccuracy.]
i don't know what to say. this is going to be one of these things, like people ask 'where were you when you heard princess diana died?'...where were you when you heard about the world trade centre? where was i? ha! i was at the bus-stop, going to school. i didn't really realise how serious it was until i saw pics of it and read an actual report. then in geo we watched the news...my teacher cried...in english the teacher told us all to study...we have exams tomorrow...but who can concentrate?? then school finished and i walked away from the carnage and stepped outside. into the sunshine and the flowers and the happy smiling people everywhere. it was so bathos. people continuing with their lives while halfway across the world others' are broken...and what did i do? i ended up running into a friend and going to their house where they attempted to teach me to dance and we ended up singing...ugh. the pentagon...they smashed into the pentagon...i feel sick. and i am nowhere near this. it has nothing to do with me. but it has still made an impact on me and everyone else and i still can't get that image of those people jumping out of the world trade centre out of my head...
I'm so sad for all of the events...
I have nothing to say. This song came to my mind this morning...
I can't believe the news today,
I can't close my eyes and make it go away.
How long, how long must we sing this song?
How long? Tonight we can be as one.
Broken bottles under children's feet,
Bodies strewn across a dead end street,
But I won't heed the battle call,
It puts my back up, puts my back up against the wall.
Sunday, bloody Sunday.
Sunday, bloody Sunday.
And the battle's just begun,
There are many lost, but tell me who has won?
The trenches dug within our hearts,
And mothers, children, brothers, sisters torn apart.
Sunday, bloody Sunday.
Sunday, bloody Sunday.
How long, how long must we sing this song?
How long, tonight we can be as one.
Tonight, tonight.
Sunday, bloody Sunday.
Sunday, bloody Sunday.
Wipe the tears from your eyes,
Wipe your tears away,
Wipe your blood shot eyes.
Sunday, bloody Sunday.
Sunday, bloody Sunday.
And it's true we are immune.
When fact is fiction and TV is reality,
And today the millions cry,
We eat and drink while tomorrow they die.
The real battle has just begun.
To claim the victory Jesus won,
On a Sunday, bloody Sunday,
Sunday bloody Sunday.
And then there is Death
September 12, 2001 - 1:00 PM CST
I haven't had a chance to catch up on the reading of this thread for a while, but I imagine that many of the regular authors have been writing their reactions to and regret regarding yesterday's tragic events. I will not be doing this, I already put my thoughts in the thread for that in GC, and...frankly, at the risk of sounding callous, I'm tired of talking about it. It's a horrible thing, and a big deal, yes, but focusing on it constantly just brings moods down to depression.
So. I just had a class cancelled (teacher absent), which makes me happy - I have three hours 'til my next and final class for the day, which is just a band rehersal.
Late last week I feel into one of my antisocial/misanthropic moods, the type of mood where everyone annoys me just by existing around me, so I generally seclude myself from friends and others. I was going to expand that to staying off of Y!M and mIRC as well, but, in light of recent events, I jumped from my "I don't want people" mind-set to one of "I need people." I still have some issues and whatnot boiling around inside me, but, as I pointed out in my more recent of the two poems I posted - I cannot necessarily solve them alone, much as I want to.
Let's see. I lead a fairly boring life. I go to school, I sleep, I work on musical things, play pool, walk, and do my online/EoFF stuff. Not much to add when I have no real trauma to discuss.
The school year's off to a good start. I'm feeling confident that this semester, I'll get decent grades and whatnot.
Meh... that's all, until I have something more fruitful to add.
~Becky
9.12.01
I am SO NOT thrilled at watching my essay topic turn into a dead gas-discussion thread. Regardless, I am submitting it to the local papers. I am also disgusted at 2 things in general:
1 - Damn bureaucracy the supposed "NPO's" run under. Self-explanatory.
I would say #2, but, no, everyone has enough to worry about. If you want to know, then read my essay.
September 12th, 2001 7:05 PM
Just another day to me. School is really...boring this year. I have some fun, but nothing out-of-the-ordinary ever happens. It's so routine.
I've been in a huge mood to play Zelda LttP. I'm gonna ask my friend if I can borrow his copy. Next time I visit a store with old school games in it, it'll be most likely I'll get it. I also want to move the SNES into my room. It's in my sister's, but she never plays it.
Most likely tommrow will be like today...but stay tuned until next time. Same Hsu time, same Hsu channel!
*is corney*
Well...I could get back to normal life today. Mostly...my mom's still pretty well obsessed with what happened. I don't think there's much I can do, mind you. We're the lucky ones posting here.
Let's see...school was pretty bland. Easy, but bland. Computer Science...hereafter to be referred to as Programming, isn't THAT bad, but it's pretty boring. I suppose Visual Basic isn't the worst one out there, though. Meh...it wasn't even my idea to take the course.
Anyhow...yeah..I know I'll get pretty decent grades this year, provided I do some work, and I'm pretty confident that I can do something musically...at worst it'll be an obsession that'll pass in roughly two to six months, and no harm done. Blah...I'm still not making headway emotionally, mind you. I think I'm about to, then I just fail to do so, and I don't like it at all. Of course, I don't go along with it, so we'll see...at the very least I'll just introvert myself and I won't hurt anyone. *sigh* Mom's watching a repeat of yesterday's news..it's pretty upsetting. The world will indeed never be the same. I know, I'm dwelling on that again. Sorry. Best wishes to all, and sympathies to those who've lost.
No matter what your opinion of yourself may be, within every insecure person lies the thought that you are better than s/he.
well, today i failed my english exam. it doesn't matter.
September 13th, 2001. 6.30pm
What a weird day. Still talking about the American Attack and it still hasn't really sunk in for some people. And I just heard that one of my Uncles family was going to New York so we don't know what has happened. I really wish this hadn't of happened. And the main reason why I wished this hadn't of happened is only because I might not be able to go to America next week. I can even tell myself I am being really selfish when all the families in NYC are much more sad than I am. But it's just not fair. Life is not fair.
I keep running....I am running....
I keep living for the day that I'm with you
9.13.01
--------------------
Today was a horrible day for me, it was so sad. Today at school I found out that one of the Sophomores, who was probably to friendliest of the upperclassmen (at least to me) has died. She died while running cross-country. This shocks me she was so nice and happy, it's so sad to see her go. She was also a healthy regular 15 year old girl, now dead. Add this to the WTC tragedy, and my life has gone from unbelievable happy, to horribly depressed over a period of two days. I know it seems trite to only think of those near me, but It seems just as bad as the WTC thing. Oh well, I guess I'll go to me room, and sit in silence, or something, just to cool down.
Grab the opportunities life hands you, that's my motto!
Saturday, September 15, 2001 - 1:25 AM CST
Let's see. It's the weekend, yay. My roommate went home, so I'm alone, yay. No classes for two days... yay.
That sums it up pretty well.
I'm feeling overly introspective and rather out of it in general, but, life's all right.
Heh, this can stay short, to make up for my previous lengthy post :P
~Becky
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