Well, this is the first time I made a "public" diary entry before, but here goes. Yesterday (Sept. 28) was my b-day, and yet, I feel weird. Last week, I took my mother's advice and told a few people what's been bothering me, I mean these things happened years ago, but they still come back to haunt me. I talked with her about an incedent that happened about three years ago, we got into an arguement, she tried to over-power me and trow me into the closet, I just pushed back enough to keep her from doing so. When I finished, she said "I don't even remember that, if it did happen then I just dropped it a long time ago." That kinda made me feel a little better. Then I confronted my sister about something that happened about five years ago. We were playing "soccor" in our house and I had my shoes on, and she didn't. Well, the only thing I remember (which is too much, anyway) is that I kicked her foot when we both went for the couch cushon. Needless to say, I sprained her ankle, and I felt so bad about it, that a week later, Holloween, I was planning on dressing up and passing candy, but in stead I went out and RAN from house to house, trying to make up for it, needless to say, I have, but I still felt guilty about it, so I confronted her about it, and she said that she forgave me a long time ago. But Istill feel guilty about it. Another thing that's bothering me, is that, instead of visiting my family, I went to my friend's house (I consider them to be my "sudo-sarrogate-parents") and got home at midnight just to get a message from my mother, who really wanted to see me, but of corse, I let her down on that. oh well, I know everyone tries to help, but the only thing that gets me up in the morning is the fact that I KNOW that I'm going to do something stupid or something I might regret later. Well I think that's long enough, if anyone doesn't like me posting here, just let me know, I'll delete this. Thanks for having this open, though.