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Thread: The Journal Thread (September)

  1. #1
    Recognized Member Scottie's Avatar
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    Default The Journal Thread (September)

    New month, new thread

  2. #2
    Too Damn Old Alixsar's Avatar
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    9/1/01
    Almost 4 PM

    I hate living. Every day sucks more than the last... I get to wake up to the lovely sound of my mom yelling...then I get to go to school and talk to all those friends I don't have. I get to sit by myself at lunch and do nothing. Fun. Then I come home and get yelled at by mom. Then I come online and usually go onto the ORPG I play. That's lots of fun...everyone hates me and yells at me and sometimes they even murder me...just for no reason. Fun. It's even better when yesterday, I made a mistake and ended up dying and I lost 200 hours worth of work...and then I go and get made fun of and then killed again by people who hate me. Yeah...lots of fun. Then I usually get off the ORPG and go into chat....great fun that is. I get to talk to lots of people who claim they're my friends yet really don't care if anything happened to me. Then I get to eat dinner and make myself the fat pig that I am. Fun. Then I come back online and play more of the ORPG and chat...it's still not very fun. Eventually, I just get sick of all the liars and virtual and mom-induced beatings and just screw it and go to bed. Then I get to start over. What fun. I get to wake up to people hating me, go to school where everyone doesn't even know I exsist, come online where people ignore me, and then start all over again. Why do I even bother? Think of it...if I died, who would care? No one. My mom has told me many times that she hates me and wants me dead...I don't have any friends irl, and I know that some people here at EoFF might be upset at first but they'd get over it eventually. I don't know...why do I even bother? I just hate living...I hate it....I hate myself, I hate waking up, I hate it. I don't care anymore...I just want to die. Why can't I just kill myself? I'd be doing everyone a favor. Mom would be a lot less stressed, everyone online wouldn't have to put up with me...it'd do lots of good for everyone. Sure, I'd be dead but I don't mind taking one for the team. I don't know...why am I even writing this? No one cares. No one ever will either. I'm just going to be the lonely depressed :bou::bou::bou::bou::bou: that I am until I die. And no one's ever going to care. Sure, I know some people might feel bad when they read this but they'll get over it. Everyone will just dissmiss this in the end. No one will care. *sigh* I don't know...I don't know what to do anymore...I just...don't know.....why did all this have to happen? Why is it that no one's ever cared about me...why is it that I'm always alone? Why? Dammit...someone must know....why did this have to happen? Why am I always depressed? Why can't I ever be happy like everyone else?
    Someone must know....*Sigh* I don't know....just forget it....no one cares anyway. Just forget all of that. It's just my depressed ramblings. Don't worry about it. *sigh* I'm going to nap...at least no one can hurt me when I'm asleep...well today's been a fun day. So far I've woken up, cried, slept, woken up, came online, cried, and written this. Sounds like fun doesn't it? *sigh* Oh well....it's the same as every other day....
    No.

  3. #3
    Char, The Red Comet bennator's Avatar
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    9.02.01 1:01 A.M.

    ----------------------

    Got back from a football game with the band (I know it's a saturday, but we played a private school). I thought our football team was horrible, it's nice to know there's one that is worse in this state anyhow. Being in the band has given me sortof a sense of beloging, it got me going to parties, and has helped me as I started this freshman year. I used ot always be depressed and sad all the time, now I'm much more happy. Plus, you get protection from the seniors in the band, nobody harrases you, with them there. Otyher than that, I'm tired, pumped up, and ready to start a brand new day, after I go to sleep in a few hours.
    Grab the opportunities life hands you, that's my motto!

  4. #4
    Recognized Member Chickencha's Avatar
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    9-01-01

    (This is for yesterday.)

    I got up around 8:00, which is incredibly early for me for a weekend. I went online for a little while after completing my morning rituals (shower, getting dressed, etc.). I left for work around 9:45 and got there at about 9:55. I had to work for 8 hours yesterday, which really isn't even legal for someone my age, but I didn't care because I need the hours. And I was working with Jon, who's probably the coolest guy I work with. He's only 16 and he's a freshman in college. Funny guy too. The time passed fairly quickly and it wasn't too terrible.

    I got home, went online for about an hour, and then my friend Chris came over and said that our other friend Tyler was coming to pick us up and we were going to his house. This was all kind of spur-of-the-moment, but that was fine with me. At Tyler's house we played PS2 for a bit, then went out walking around. We walked up to a fire station to see if the firemen would play basketball with us, but they weren't in the mood, so we just talked to them for 15 minutes or so and went back to Tyler's house. We hung out there until my parents came to pick us up. When I got home it was about 10:45 PM and I had a terrible headache, so I decided to go to bed.

  5. #5
    the salt of the earth Ally's Avatar
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    You know, for some reason, my friends always turned to me for advice on guys... I never understood why, though. I've never been in a romantic relationship before. I don't know what it's like to be in love. *shrug* I always helped them out; I think I did a pretty good job of it, too, even though I could never relate.

    Well, now I kind of know what some of them are going through. Love sucks. For the past couple months, I've been chasing after a guy I can't have. He loves someone else... and even though I'm happy for the both of them... it hurts. So much. *sigh* I guess it's a part of life. It's not like it matters much, anyway. I'm just a kid. I'll end up forgetting all about him eventually, right?

    But on a happier note, I talked to a really sweet person yesterday. He's from some message board I go to... he saw that I was in a bad mood (from one of my away messages) and asked if he could do anything to help. He listened... that's good enough for me. ^_^

    School starts in four days. My birthday is in five days. *fake excitement* I hate having a September birthday.
    Wait what.

  6. #6
    Fluttershy Recognized Member Ashi's Avatar
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    Smile

    Mood: Refreshed.
    Music: M2M - Mirror Mirror.
    Entry:

    I need to change my LJ theme. I'm getting bored of this one. *Sigh* this one's boring and everyone uses pink these days! I'm tired of having a pink diary.

    Eeeeeeee!! I got the Lady Marmalade music video. FINALLY! After weeks of getting remote queued 50 or so. x) The one I got was from Moulin Rouge. I want to get the All Saints one too (if it existed!), but I can't find it. =(

    Anyway, school was okay today. They let us come home at 12 as well. Tomorrow we're going home at 1. It's just for this week, I think. Because it's too hot.

    Yesterday afternoon I was thinking of getting my hair cut short and re-doing the purple strikes. But...last time I cut my hair I felt soo guilty! I hated the feeling. I want to grow my hair. It would be cool that way. I know I'll feel guilty if I cut it again. I think long hair is nice and girls who have it are so lucky! I'll grow mine (with the tips re-done purple) but when I get sick/tired of long hair, I'll cut it. There. That seems like a good ... erm ... plan, eh? xD

    Oh! Our social advisor was asking everyone in my class today about why they chose the science section. The truth is, I didn't know why I chose science. Because I'll have more choices in collage/university? Because History is so hard for me? Because I wanted to be praised by my parents? Why? To tell the truth, I thought of challenging myself lots of times and taking History and Arts. But when the teacher asked me I told her that I liked Science subjects more than History and Arts. She asked me if I had a goal. I didn't want to say no because I always have goals. I told her I wanted to be an Architecht. It's true, I wanted to take that ... for a long time ... not just because my father's one. He has no idea want to be just like him. I mean, he knew till I told him I wanted to be a writer. But I don't really want to take literiture in university. I want to keep writing as a hobby. I'm not sure...but yeah, I do want to be an Architect. I've been desiging house maps since I was very young and my two favorite subjects are Physics and Mathematics ... so I think it'll be fine. Wow ... I feel refreshed. I have a goal in life. ^_^;;. A real one, not like one of those childish fantasies. Now this means I should spend more time on my studies. And I will. =)

  7. #7
    Recognized Member Britt's Avatar
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    09.02.01
    _______________

    Tra la la. xD I'm having one of those sickeningly optimistic days where you think everything is cool. I've been uncharacteristically worried about the future for a couple days now, but I figure there's little more I can do about it then I'm already doing, pretty much. Soo... tra la la. xD

  8. #8
    ORANGE Dr Unne's Avatar
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    September 2, 2001 3:16 PM

    I tried to draw something, and I failed. I hate when that happens. Ah well. Better luck next time.

    I'm happy that I'm going to learn Java this term at college. My other classes don't look quite as fun, though. Computer architecture isn't much fun. I don't plan on building computers from scratch, after all. Just program them. But whatyagonnado.

    My dad brought me some cucumbers from our garden at home, and I ate one. It was tasty. Cucumbers are the food of the gods.

  9. #9
    Death of Grammar Recognized Member Rirse's Avatar
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    I will do two entry in one post for your convice.

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------
    September 1, 2001
    ------------------------------------------------------------------------
    8:04 AM - Woke up from my long 11 hour sleep from last night, that was needed to help fight my cold and growing drowsess that is from waking up for school so early. Went downstairs and notice nobody was home(parents were at a race for a couple of hours), so I watch the news that was left on. Went downstairs to use the computer at 8:42 and notice Mystery Science Theater 3000 was on a hour early(thought it was on at 9), so I watch that while going online, while eating a some payday bars.

    10:00 - MST3K was over and I was bored of using the computer at the time, so I went to the red chair in the room and watch some forgettable shows upstairs after notice my brother was up.

    12:31 PM - My parents got home and have bought some food at Wal-Mart. I had a Italian sub and went downstairs to watch the Courge the Cowardy Dog marthon to kill time. Soon afterwards, my mom went to bed(since she works at the hospital all through the night), while my dad went to his German(he not German, by the way) Club's Octoberfest.

    5:00 - With the marthon over, I woke up my mom and watch Naked Gun 2 and a half upstairs until 6:30.

    6:30 - Me and my mom went to pick up my sister at the hospital, who just got off work at the time.

    8:00 - We went to the Octoberfest visit my dad and get some free food there.

    9:00 - Got home and went upstairs to watch a DVD of Goonies with my mom, who wanted to watch that. My sister soon came up, but she went to sleep a half hour in.

    11:00 - Finish watching Goonies and went downstairs to use the computer again. My dad got home soon afterwards, and him and my mom went to bed for the night.

    12:30 AM - My brother got home, and I was ready to go to bed, but I got into a converison with him that lasted to 2 AM(it was about movies, DVD, and various stuff).

    2:00 - Went to bed for the night.

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------
    September 2, 2001
    ------------------------------------------------------------------------
    11:00 AM - Woke up late, due to getting to bed at 2 last night. Went downstairs and notice my dad was at Octoberfest already, while my mom was checking the bills. I got something to eat and started to read the newspaper and look for good deals for my new TV I'm getting later this week. After getting done at 11:30, my brother woke up and I went online to check various sites(including this one).

    12:00 PM - My brother just got Rally(Checkers in the southern states), which I got offline soon getting it and went upstairs to watch some movie my mom was watching.

    2:00 - The movie over, I once again got a movie of my mom choice to watch on DVD. This time it was my Ghostbuster DVD that I bought weeks back. My brother joined in for watching it the whole time.

    4:00 - Ghostbuster is over, so I decied to head downstairs to watch some TV, while my brother was online still. Found nothing and waited 30 minutes for him to get off.

    4:30 - Got online, while my brother left for work, which I continue to be online at until this writing of post(most likely get off at 6).

    Future Plans for the night.

    7:00 - Watch Futurama on Fox, follow by Aladdin on Toon Disney, then Simpson on Fox.

    8:30 - Take a bath

    9:00 - Watch Darkwing Duck(maybe)

    10:30 - Watch Seven Samarai on Sundance channel and decide if to buy it on Criticion Edition.

    1:30 AM - Go to bed for the night.

  10. #10
    *permanently smitten*
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    cold+tired = sick
    lazy+many exams+many assignments = stressed
    broke+german = bleah

    sick+stressed+bleah = me!

    i never could do maths.

  11. #11
    Jon
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    Sept. 3, 2001
    12:58 AM CDT

    Well, today was about as boring as I could have hoped for. I woke up in a sleeping bag in Brandon's floor (I still don't remember how I got there), played a little GT3 on his PS2, went outside on the deck to eat breakfast, then went home about 11:30 when he left to go teach his girlfriend how to drive a stick shift.

    Upon reaching my driveway, I found my parents pulling out to go shopping for a new china cabinet for the dining room. "It'll only take half an hour or so." Three hours later, after visiting four HUGE furniture stores, and finally buying a $3200 china hutch we don't really need, we arrived back home. I did get some ideas for stuff to get before I move out (I just found out I don't get to take my bed with me), so it wasn't a complete waste of time. Too bad I don't have the money for a $2500 bed or a $1500 chair.

    The only other thing I have done today besides eat and watch the NASCAR race is play FFIV. I started over, and I'm already past Fabul. Not bad.

    Well, no work tomorrow, so time for more FFIV. Or bed. Or some TV. Whatever.

    Jon

  12. #12
    Too Damn Old Alixsar's Avatar
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    9/02/01
    11 something PM

    I'm tired. I just wrote this whole damn post and then my computer deletes the whole damn thing. For no reason. It's been that kind of day. Everything's been trying to screw me over. My computer lagged, mom yelled non-stop, chat was depressing, YM crashed five times, my ORPG was laggy....just everything. My lunch made me sick too. This sucks, I'm depressed and I want to talk to someone...but there's no one to talk to now...forget it. I'm just going to go to bed. At least nothing can hurt me there...
    No.

  13. #13
    Meep~? Sapphire's Avatar
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    Wow, I hardly get a chance to come online now to EoFF... Anyways, I thought I'd write a journal entry.
    --------------------------

    I guess you could say my life has been going pretty well... my birthday just went by and I received tonnes of gifts and all... My dad gave me a CD writer and my mom gave me a Discman... and now we're even having a one week holiday to prepare for our coming exams.

    But things aren't exactly going very well... in school I've had a few problems with my teacher and my friends... there've been *counts* around 4 misunderstandings already in the past 2 weeks. And the worst thing is that my friend came to me and he just scolded me and screamed at me... and ya know how terrified I am of loud noises (espicially when guys shout)... And it's like, I don't want to cry about stuff like that anymore... I don't want to look so weak and make others think that I'm such a crybaby... That's why I've made a vow never to cry for 2 years. No matter what. *smiles* And that's why that fella is kinda puzzled about why I seem to be so light hearted about what happened already.

    Hey, this doesn't mean I'm running away from reality... I'm just strenghtening myself. I'm never gonna cry until my vow's over. And I'm gonna make sure I seem as optimistic and cheerful as always. It kinda works too. Now I can cheer people up much easier.

    I'm kinda stresed about my exams too... my mom's always telling me to go study and study... I really hope I can get to the JC I want... *gulp* In Singapore a degree is really important... everything revolves around how much qualifications you have, and that results in people looking down on others who don't come from famous schools and all... Tis a really stressful environment to live in I tell ya.

    Now that feels much better... being able to come online and writing all the stuff which I've been keeping from my family out here... Oh well, I'd better get going now... I'll probably write somemore if I get the chance to.

    *Bubblejet*Stardust*Magix*

    *We were put on this earth to brighten the lives of others*



    ~*Sapphire*Stardust*~

  14. #14
    Got obliterated Recognized Member Shoeberto's Avatar
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    September 3, 2001 2:37 PM

    Went camping this weekend. It was boring, as usual. I really wish I could stay home.

    I got an issue of EGM. It turns out it's a limited edition FFX Amano cover. Mebbe I'll scan it in and send it into EoFF for the FFX section.

    For the first time in a while, I've visited my ORPG. It's kinda boring.

    I need to get my homework done. I can tell this year I'm gonna lag totally in homework, mainly because of a lack of any type of motivation.

    I might start up a comic series. I've felt like doing it lately, after getting hooked on EGM's Hsu and Chan Game Designer comic. I need to put a link in my sig to the Hsu and Chan homepage.

    Hmph. School tommorow, and a three day weekend waisted. Totally waisted.

    --------------------------

    (Alixsar: A lot of people would care if you died. And it would stick in our heads for a long time. EoFF wouldn't be the same without you)
    Join me on my Mastodon instance, Villa Straylight!

  15. #15
    ¤•°Mercedes°•¤
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    Grin Good day again

    Well today was boring but good! Anyways, I had fun the day before actually I went out to my camp and they were having a pig roast although the pig didn't look too appatizing...Hehe I met some cute(very cute) guys out there hehe!^_^ Well I go back to school tomorrow after this loong labor day weekend. I was excited to go back to school when I realized how much of a drain it was. I can't do any sports for two months because of my stupid knee! I can't even do Phys Ed! It bums me out to know this! Oh well... I like doing school activites ,but I will have to wait until November for sports! :angry: Well I hope I get better too!

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