Things AC Characters Would Never Say...

[Ozmoid]

Tifa: Your ringtone is the Fanfare?! What are the odds of that?!

Loz: Hey, Kadaj! Quit hogging Jenova! I wanna be Sephirtoh now! Come on! Pleeease! I'll be your best friend!

Cloud: (when kadaj becomes sephiroth) oh no, not another f***in' cosplayer...

Kadaj: Behold the power of my materia! Go! Choco-Mog!

Loz: Wha..? Are you throwing materia at me?
Marlene: Yes. But that was a bad idea. I think i'm gonna keep this pretty red one...BAHAMUT ZERO! I SUMMON THEE!

Tifa: Don't worry Densil. You're safe.
Roxas: Ummm...I tihink you've made a mistake.
Tifa: $#1+. Oh well, guess we need a new orphan.

[leonheart_blade]

I did that becuase when I saw Barret for the first time the first person that came to my mind was: Mr. T

[Dragon Mage]

Loz:You d*** son of a sh**swilling b****!! I'll kill you!!

[sephirothishere]

Originally Posted by forgiven angel:
cloudto sephiroth) bend over and take it up the tail pipe


cloud: I see a little silhouetto of a man
kadaj: Scaramouche,scaramouche will you do the fandango-
Thunderbolt and lightning-very very frightening me
yuffie: Galileo
cait sith: Galileo
yuffie: Galileo
cait sith: Galileo
yuffie & cait: Galileo figaro
kadaj: magnifico-
cloud: Im just a poor boy and nobody loves me
cid: hes just a poor boy
tifa: from a poor family
barret:Spare him his life
vincent: from this monstrosity-
cloud: Easy come easy go-,will you let me go-
aerith:Bismillah!
kadaj: no-,we will not let you go
crowd: let him go
kadaj: Bismillah! no-,we will not let you go
crowd: let him go
kadaj: Bismillah! no-,we will not let you go
crowd: let him go
kadaj: Will not let you go-
cloud: let me go
kadaj: Will not let you go-
cloud: let me go
tifa: no
kadaj: no
reno & rude,: no
loz,: no
vincent: no
sephiroth: no
barret: oh Mama mia,mama
cloud: Mama mia let me go
sephiroth: Beelzebub has a devil put aside for me,for me,for me-

hey i jus finished watchin waynes world and there was the part were they were in the car moshing to bohemian rhapsody and i thought it would look funny with all those long silver haired dudes in the car doin that...hahahahahahahahaahahahahahahah....aeris kinda reminds me of stacy outta waynes world...hahahahahahahaha

[forgiven angel]

yet again got this from a youtube vid

it's not the best or as good as my others but oh well

loz:give me my toy

tifa:what toy

cloud:i stole his toy

rufus:at least i still have my cheesy poofs

loz:s***

cloud: i need some chicken soup

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

kadaj:hello youthful children im kadaj i am the chosen high preist of jenovaism we are jenova's witnesses
jenova is my mother that mean's she's not your mother ok she's mine i'm here to introduce you to jenovaism commandment number one: there is only one jenova uno not 5 not 6 just one commandment number 2:worship jenova all the time and while your at it i am the high preist of jenovaism worship me too i'm the main villan of advent children me damn it it's not sephiroth this time sephiroth had his spot light and as for him your worship is gone but i can clense you all we shall all be baptized together silver haired men are not alike in this ceremonial waters jenova is and will raise supreme come lets get wet and don't mind the black oily stuff im just turning the water into wine baptism in wine is so sxual


here's where i got it from
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hRtBgABvI0Q

[Dragon Mage]

Cloud: Wanna hear a joke?

[Twilight Edge]

Sephiroth: I believe I can fly, I believe I can touch the sky, I think about it every night and day, spread my wings and fly away......I believe I can soar, I see you runnin' to the open door......I believe I can fly(I can fly)......I believe I can flyyyyyy......I believe I can flyyyy......

Kadaj(when fighting Cloud):*whistles along with J-E-N-O-V-A*

knock!knock!
Reno: Who's there?
???: Kung.
Reno: Kung who?
SMASH!*Door gets smashed right off it's hinges*
Loz: KUNG FOO!!!

Tifa: Dilly dally shilly shally
audience: WHO IN RETARDEDNESS WOULD SAY SUCH A RETARDED THING???

Loz: You meanie!
Reno: Excuse me? I thought you said I was mean?Cool, 'cause I'm meant to be mean!*smacks Loz in the nose with his rod*

____________________________________
*Loz zaps Tifa*
Loz:Let's play!
Marlene:Finally!Now she's out cold, we can play all we want!
Loz:But what do we play?
Marlene:I know!*throws materia at him*
Loz:Oh yeah!
*Loz juggles materia*
*victory fanfare plays*
*Loz gets shocked and the materia fell on his head and he starts crying*
Loz:Hello?*sniff*
Kadaj(on the phone):Are you crying again?
Loz:NO I'M NOT!!*sniff*
Kadaj:......oh yes you are.
Loz:no
Kadaj:yes
Loz:no
*slap fight*
*Cloud came back*
Cloudpoints at materia)Hey those are my birthday presents from Yuffie!
*Vincent descends*
Vincent:I want to shoot you.And where's the phone slaesman?
Marlene:Uh oh.
Cloud:That's it!You're grounded!
Loz:
Kadaj:I WIN!YOU CRIED!NA NA NA NA NA!
Yazoo:Hey hurry up and go pee in the water.The kids are waiting.
Denzel and the kids:HEY WHERE'S THE PEE??
Rufus:Hey Kadaj do you know your mother tastes like cheese pizza to me?
Kadaj(hangs up):Oh yeah I noticed that.
Reno:It would taste better if we add some macerony and suasages on it.
Rude: ........Don't forget the anchovies.
Cid and Barret(lands on airship):Hey cheese pizza!Our favourite!
Rufus:It's Jenova's friggin' head.
Reno:But it does taste like cheese pizza.
Yuffieuys,I bought the macerony,sausages and anchovies!
Red XIII:Hey gimme a slice I love cheese!
Loz(rushes back):HEY I'M HUNGRY!WHERE'S MY CHEESE PIZZA??
*victory fanfare plays*
Loz:Hello?
Cloudon't forget you're grounded.If you want a slice of pizza that would be $9.99.
Vincent:$9.99......WTF?
Aeris and Zack: Why do we have to die so early?We would've had a bite of that Jenova head cheese pizza.
Sephiroth: Hey that's my mother!
*Kadaj takes a bite*
*turns into Sephiroth*
Sephiroth:HEY THAT'S MY MOTHER!I WILL BE THE ONE WHO WILL EAT HER!NOT YOU,NOT ANYBODY,BUT ME!
*Cloud comes and does Omnislash*
*Sephy turns back to Kadaj*
*Kadaj returns to the planet*
Kadaj:YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA TOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!

Finally,it was Cloud who managed to grab the remaining slices of 'Jenova's friggin' head cheese pizza'(coated with macerony,sausages and anchovies) and he lived happily ever after after eating it.THE END.E-N-D. Got it memorized?

[Madrab]

Thanks! Haha, that was a funny clip, making it even more hilarious when I think about Cloud and Sephiroth singing it to each other.

No problem.


Rufus: Hello Mr. Fluffy...

Cloud: No, I'm Cloud.

Rufus: Cloud's are fluffy.

Cloud: But I'm not fluffy.

Rufus: Yes you are.

Clould: No I'm not!!!

Rufus: ....Well then maybe you should be.

Cloud: What...?

Rufus: You know what I mean...

:bigbiggri

omg hahahahaha

Tifa: Cloud i hate your hair and what the hell are you wearing?

[Dragon Mage]

Omnislasher Draco, I can't believe you wrote all of that.

[*~Angel Wing~*]

Sephiroth: I believe I can fly, I believe I can touch the sky, I think about it every night and day, spread my wings and fly away......I believe I can soar, I see you runnin' to the open door......I believe I can fly(I can fly)......I believe I can flyyyyyy......I believe I can flyyyy......

Kadaj(when fighting Cloud):*whistles along with J-E-N-O-V-A*

knock!knock!
Reno: Who's there?
???: Kung.
Reno: Kung who?
SMASH!*Door gets smashed right off it's hinges*
Loz: KUNG FOO!!!

Tifa: Dilly dally shilly shally
audience: WHO IN RETARDEDNESS WOULD SAY SUCH A RETARDED THING???

Loz: You meanie!
Reno: Excuse me? I thought you said I was mean?Cool, 'cause I'm meant to be mean!*smacks Loz in the nose with his rod*

____________________________________
*Loz zaps Tifa*
Loz:Let's play!
Marlene:Finally!Now she's out cold, we can play all we want!
Loz:But what do we play?
Marlene:I know!*throws materia at him*
Loz:Oh yeah!
*Loz juggles materia*
*victory fanfare plays*
*Loz gets shocked and the materia fell on his head and he starts crying*
Loz:Hello?*sniff*
Kadaj(on the phone):Are you crying again?
Loz:NO I'M NOT!!*sniff*
Kadaj:......oh yes you are.
Loz:no
Kadaj:yes
Loz:no
*slap fight*
*Cloud came back*
Cloudpoints at materia)Hey those are my birthday presents from Yuffie!
*Vincent descends*
Vincent:I want to shoot you.And where's the phone slaesman?
Marlene:Uh oh.
Cloud:That's it!You're grounded!
Loz:
Kadaj:I WIN!YOU CRIED!NA NA NA NA NA!
Yazoo:Hey hurry up and go pee in the water.The kids are waiting.
Denzel and the kids:HEY WHERE'S THE PEE??
Rufus:Hey Kadaj do you know your mother tastes like cheese pizza to me?
Kadaj(hangs up):Oh yeah I noticed that.
Reno:It would taste better if we add some macerony and suasages on it.
Rude: ........Don't forget the anchovies.
Cid and Barret(lands on airship):Hey cheese pizza!Our favourite!
Rufus:It's Jenova's friggin' head.
Reno:But it does taste like cheese pizza.
Yuffieuys,I bought the macerony,sausages and anchovies!
Red XIII:Hey gimme a slice I love cheese!
Loz(rushes back):HEY I'M HUNGRY!WHERE'S MY CHEESE PIZZA??
*victory fanfare plays*
Loz:Hello?
Cloudon't forget you're grounded.If you want a slice of pizza that would be $9.99.
Vincent:$9.99......WTF?
Aeris and Zack: Why do we have to die so early?We would've had a bite of that Jenova head cheese pizza.
Sephiroth: Hey that's my mother!
*Kadaj takes a bite*
*turns into Sephiroth*
Sephiroth:HEY THAT'S MY MOTHER!I WILL BE THE ONE WHO WILL EAT HER!NOT YOU,NOT ANYBODY,BUT ME!
*Cloud comes and does Omnislash*
*Sephy turns back to Kadaj*
*Kadaj returns to the planet*
Kadaj:YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA TOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!

Finally,it was Cloud who managed to grab the remaining slices of 'Jenova's friggin' head cheese pizza'(coated with macerony,sausages and anchovies) and he lived happily ever after after eating it.THE END.E-N-D. Got it memorized?

LOL

[forgiven angel]

Sephiroth: I believe I can fly, I believe I can touch the sky, I think about it every night and day, spread my wings and fly away......I believe I can soar, I see you runnin' to the open door......I believe I can fly(I can fly)......I believe I can flyyyyyy......I believe I can flyyyy......

Kadaj(when fighting Cloud):*whistles along with J-E-N-O-V-A*

knock!knock!
Reno: Who's there?
???: Kung.
Reno: Kung who?
SMASH!*Door gets smashed right off it's hinges*
Loz: KUNG FOO!!!

Tifa: Dilly dally shilly shally
audience: WHO IN RETARDEDNESS WOULD SAY SUCH A RETARDED THING???

Loz: You meanie!
Reno: Excuse me? I thought you said I was mean?Cool, 'cause I'm meant to be mean!*smacks Loz in the nose with his rod*

____________________________________
*Loz zaps Tifa*
Loz:Let's play!
Marlene:Finally!Now she's out cold, we can play all we want!
Loz:But what do we play?
Marlene:I know!*throws materia at him*
Loz:Oh yeah!
*Loz juggles materia*
*victory fanfare plays*
*Loz gets shocked and the materia fell on his head and he starts crying*
Loz:Hello?*sniff*
Kadaj(on the phone):Are you crying again?
Loz:NO I'M NOT!!*sniff*
Kadaj:......oh yes you are.
Loz:no
Kadaj:yes
Loz:no
*slap fight*
*Cloud came back*
Cloudpoints at materia)Hey those are my birthday presents from Yuffie!
*Vincent descends*
Vincent:I want to shoot you.And where's the phone slaesman?
Marlene:Uh oh.
Cloud:That's it!You're grounded!
Loz:
Kadaj:I WIN!YOU CRIED!NA NA NA NA NA!
Yazoo:Hey hurry up and go pee in the water.The kids are waiting.
Denzel and the kids:HEY WHERE'S THE PEE??
Rufus:Hey Kadaj do you know your mother tastes like cheese pizza to me?
Kadaj(hangs up):Oh yeah I noticed that.
Reno:It would taste better if we add some macerony and suasages on it.
Rude: ........Don't forget the anchovies.
Cid and Barret(lands on airship):Hey cheese pizza!Our favourite!
Rufus:It's Jenova's friggin' head.
Reno:But it does taste like cheese pizza.
Yuffieuys,I bought the macerony,sausages and anchovies!
Red XIII:Hey gimme a slice I love cheese!
Loz(rushes back):HEY I'M HUNGRY!WHERE'S MY CHEESE PIZZA??
*victory fanfare plays*
Loz:Hello?
Cloudon't forget you're grounded.If you want a slice of pizza that would be $9.99.
Vincent:$9.99......WTF?
Aeris and Zack: Why do we have to die so early?We would've had a bite of that Jenova head cheese pizza.
Sephiroth: Hey that's my mother!
*Kadaj takes a bite*
*turns into Sephiroth*
Sephiroth:HEY THAT'S MY MOTHER!I WILL BE THE ONE WHO WILL EAT HER!NOT YOU,NOT ANYBODY,BUT ME!
*Cloud comes and does Omnislash*
*Sephy turns back to Kadaj*
*Kadaj returns to the planet*
Kadaj:YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA TOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!

Finally,it was Cloud who managed to grab the remaining slices of 'Jenova's friggin' head cheese pizza'(coated with macerony,sausages and anchovies) and he lived happily ever after after eating it.THE END.E-N-D. Got it memorized?

LOL

that was awesome

[Twilight Edge]

It took me about two minutes to write those out.

Anyway here's a new one......

A tribute to the Crocodile Hunter, Steve Irvin
Barret's Documentary on Bahamut

*Tifa was knocked out*
Denzel: Hey Tifa, you okay?Hello,anybody home?
*looks around*
Denzel:Keheeeeeheheheheeh!!
**beeps* her*
*Bahamut lands*
Denzel:Hey that was my house you ARRRRSSEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!
*Denzel runs at him*
*Barret comes and shoots Bahamut in the face*
Barret(with Steve's voice):Stay back kid!You wanna get yourself killed?
*turns back*
Barret:So now here we have Bahamut the king of dragons,one of the possibly most dangerous creatures on the planet.Able to spit fireballs the size of Ozma the optional boss from FFIX,and fly at a height no human but Cloud can reach,I'll now demonstrate how to stick my heavily loaded fist up his ass!
Tifa:Seriously?
Barret:Crikey,definitely.
*runs at him*
*Red comes and fight*
*Barret pumps his gun to stick it up Bahamut's ass but Bahamut was flying at him,ready for dinner*
*shuriken comes flying and Yuffie lands*
Yuffie:Oh boy,isn't he gorgeous?
Tifa:Come to think of it,hell yeah.
Yuffie:YEE-HAW!!
*runs at Bahamut*
Denzel:That thing's gorgeous?Crikey, it burned down my house!
*Shadow Creepers appear*
Background music:WHO LET THE DOGS OUT??
*Cid whacks and shoves them aside*
Cid:Just in time!And I'll explain about these Shadow Creepers!They are a pain in the ass who likes to sneak up on people and eat the #@#$@ out of them before #$#$$ them and ##%#@% followed by #@#$#@#$ and #$@#$#$@ before ending with #$@$#$@$##$@%#@@#$#%@@#!
Vincent(with Butcher voice from Warcraft IIIotA):URRRGGGGHHH FRESH MEAT......
Denzel:Whoa he a butcher or something?
Tifa:Uhh yeah......he sells dog and dragon meat usually......
*Cloud arrives*
Cloud:I blah blah blah...... what the hell let's get there and see Barret stick his fist up Bahamut's ass.
Kadaj:Crikey!I just summoned a beauty!
Yazoo:wow,isn't he beautiful?
Loz:HEY NOT FAIR YOU MEANIE!I WANT TO STICK MY FIST UP HIS ASS!
Reno:Hey I want to stick my rod up his ass too!wait for me!
Rude:.........*follows*
Rufus:He's really aggressive and is easily agitated,so no one but trained personnel can handle such a creature.But Cloud and the others can approach him because they know when to stay away.So now their keeping their distance from Bahamut before trying to snare him.
*Cloud arrives with Tifa and takes thier spot to watch the show*
*Barret,Loz and Reno fight each other so that they can get an attempt to stick their weapons up Bahamut's ass*
Aeris:Man I can't believe I missed this!I could've stuck my staff up Bahamut's tight gorgeous ass!
Zack:*watches while munching some doritos*
Sephiroth:HEY I WANT TO STICK MY SWORD UP HIS TINY ASS!
*Kadaj was watching and eating a slice of Jenova's Friggin' Head Cheese Pizza and turns into him*
*Sephy flies to Bahamut,kills Loz and Reno and stabs Barret in the heart(sigh,gotta go with the flow)*
Sephiroth:I'M GONNA STICK MY SWORD UP YOUR TIGHT ASS!
*sticks his sword up his ass*
Cloud:Hey you killed Barret Steve Irvin!
*Omnislash*
*Sephy dies*
*Kadaj returns to the planet*
Kadaj:FRRREEEEEENNNNCHHHHHHH TTTTTTOOOOOAAAASSSSSSSTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!

Everyone:RIP Barret Steve Irvin.Amen.

[*~Angel Wing~*]

A tribute to the Crocodile Hunter, Steve Irwin
Barret's Documentary on Bahamut

Everyone:RIP Barret Steve Irwin.Amen.

Yes poor Steve Irwin... That was really awful, my family and I really enjoyed watching him. :kaocry: :kaocry2:

[joshquixote]

Cloud: (riding on Fenrir) He's going the distance, he's going for speed... Tifa's all alone, all alone in a time of need...

Aeris: Remember who you are, Cloud... you must take your place in the Circle of Life...
Cloud: Don't you mean the Lifestream?
Aeris: (looks at notecards) Oops, sorry, that speech was for Red XIII.
Red XIII: I must take back the Pride Lands!!! (runs off)

Tifa: Cloud, you have to accept that Aeris is never coming back.
Cloud: (Marlon Brando) AERIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bahamut Zero: Wait, this isn't the new Godzilla movie?! I'm calling my agent!

Kadaj: (holds up Jenova's head in one hand) Alas, poor Jenova, I knew her well, Rufus...

Sephiroth: My name is Sephiroth. You killed my mother. Prepare to die.

[*~Angel Wing~*]

Cloud: (riding on Fenrir) He's going the distance, he's going for speed... Tifa's all alone, all alone in a time of need...

Aeris: Remember who you are, Cloud... you must take your place in the Circle of Life...
Cloud: Don't you mean the Lifestream?
Aeris: (looks at notecards) Oops, sorry, that speech was for Red XIII.
Red XIII: I must take back the Pride Lands!!! (runs off)

Tifa: Cloud, you have to accept that Aeris is never coming back.
Cloud: (Marlon Brando) AERIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bahamut Zero: Wait, this isn't the new Godzilla movie?! I'm calling my agent!

Kadaj: (holds up Jenova's head in one hand) Alas, poor Jenova, I knew her well, Rufus...

Sephiroth: My name is Sephiroth. You killed my mother. Prepare to die.

LOL nice!!!