Things FF7 Characters Would Never Say

[cloud_doll]

sephiroth: my mom always said life is like a box of chocolates...you never know what your gonna get

lol, this one is funny

[BardTard]

Cloud: Hey Aeris, does this dress make my butt look big?

[Twilight Edge]

Cloud:I should go get a tran-sex operation because I want to wear the dress like a normal girl!

[Levian]

Aeris: SMELL MY ARMPITS!

[BardTard]

Aeris: SMELL MY ARMPITS!

LOL good one!

[Twilight Edge]

Vincent:Sephiroth,I'm your father,not Hojo.Lucrecia and I got drunk one night and *beep* each other and got you.Not Hojo.Hojo is just a total @$$ho.

[Imperfectionist]

Tifa: Hey, Cloud, will you come over here, I need to get this can open

[Laugh at face of Danger]

Vincent: I'm running away with Yuffie and stuffing Lucrecia.
~ ~ ~
Cloud: Sure, I'll sign this contract Yuffie!
~ ~ ~
*Sephiroth has just killed Aeris*
Sephiroth: Oh crap!

[Griff]

*scene: restaurant, Bugenhagen reading a newspaper*
Bugenhagen: if Shinra keeps sucking up mako energy, the world will be destroyed. If only I could find AVALANCHE.
*enter waiter with large beard and spear*
Waiter: AVALANCHE? I hear their terrific. Would you like anything else?
Bugenhagen: Not unless you can help me find AVALANCHE.
*Waiter pulls off fake beard and lights a cigarette*
Cid: You just found em
*A-team theme begins playing*

[SuperMillionaire]

Hey guys, please go to the "Funny situations that FF7 characters would probably never be in" thread.

Aeris: SMELL MY ARMPITS!

Cloud: Actually, I'd rather rub Tifa's armpits. Her armpits are much sweatier than yours. I love girl sweat! She sweats a lot, and I love it! The way she sweats turns me on!

Tifa: That's right, Cloud: rub my armpits...

[leader of mortals]

vincent: weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

cloud: sephy is my friend

Aeris: death to the world!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! muahahahahahahahahahahahaha

[Twilight Edge]

Rufus:I control the world with peace!It takes too much money to do it like my father!I ain't no chairty fund!

[Jessweeee♪]

Sephiroth: mWahAhahahA! *kills Aeris*
Cloud: *uses a phoenix down*
Aeris: all better!
Sephiroth: mWahAhahahA! *kills Aeris*
Cloud: *uses a phoenix down*
Sephiroth: mWahAhahahA! *kills Aeris*
Cloud: *uses a phoenix down*
(this goes on until Cloud runs out of phoenix downs/MP restore items for Life)
Sephiroth: mWah--
Cloud: OMNISLASH!!!!
Sephiroth: *uses Aeris as a human sheild*
Cloud:.......crap.


I went through the game once and named her Elvis.
Elvis...is dead.

[Laugh at face of Danger]

I went through the game once and named her Elvis.
Elvis...is dead.

*dies laughing*

[Shiny]

Sephiroth: *sigh*
Aeris: "What's wrong, Seph, having those thoughts again?"
Sephiroth: "Yes, I just...I just can't control my urge to want to stab you lately."
Aeris: "But, yet you resist it."
Sephiroth: "Yeah."
Aeris: "You've gotten better. Hey, why don't you stab me for old times sake?"
Sephiroth: "Alright!" *stabs Aeris*
Aeris: "Do you feel better now?"
Sephiroth: "Nope." *stabs again* "Now I do."