Things FF7 Characters Would Never Say

[Shiny]

Cloud: Seph, you're overrated. Go away! I hate you and you smell like sweaty armpits.
Sephiroth: Psh...please...if it isn't the pot calling the kettle black.
Barret: Someone called me?

(I posted this one in another thread):
Cloud: (singing to Sephiroth) F is for friends who do stuff together. U is for you and me. N is for anywhere and anytime. Down here in the deep blue sea.
Sephiroth: (singing to Cloud): F is for fire that burns the whole town down! U is for Uranium...bombs. N is for no survivors!

Marlene: Daddy, why are you black?
Barret: If I wasn't black, then fanboys would agrue that Final Fantasy never has any black people in it.

[daggertrepe]

Aeris: Cloud...I must tell you something...I want to meet you, and by that, I mean I want to screw you!

Tifa: Cloud, go tell that Aeris *bleep* to *bleep* off! You're MY man!

Cloud: I'm know, I know, I'm a PIMP!

Yuffie: I hate materia. I could care less if it all blew up.

[Levian]

Chocobo Sage: To get a gold chocobo you have to mate two Great chocobos with two Good ones, use carob nuts dropped or stolen Vlakorados. You'll get a green and a blue chocobo. Mate them by using another carob nut. You'll get a black one. Mate it with a wonderful chocobo found nearby Icicle town. Use a Zeio nut dropped by Goblins. Now you have a Gold Chocobo!


Aeris: [img]/xxx.gif[/img][img]/xxx.gif[/img][img]/xxx.gif[/img][img]/xxx.gif[/img]. The white materia keeps falling out of my hair every time I do Healing Wind.

[daggertrepe]

Wow, so true, Levian, so true...he doesn't even give you a hint, haha...

[Griff]

*at a craps table*
Man: Mr. Cait Sith you think you can beat me, I'd like to see you try
*Cait Sith rolls dice, guy falls over dead*

Yuffie: Well everyone, I decided to go with you and *under breath* steal your materia
Cloud: What?
Yuffie: Go on an adventure, if we stick together I know we can *under breath* steal your materia
Cloud: What?
Yuffie: Defeat Sephiroth, and I'll make sure while you're sleeping to *under breath* steal your materia
Cloud: What?
Yuffie: Steal your materia....oops

Cloud: I got experience points
Tifa: So did I
Barett: I dropped mine
Cloud: We got two chocobos
Tifa: Let's make a chocobo baby
Cloud: That's innapropriate
Aeris: I'm Aeris and I'm the last surviving ancient, i'm gonna save the *sword goes through her* ow, that hurt
Cloud: Someone give her a bandaid
Everyone: hahahaha
Cloud: The End

[Shiny]

Yuffie: Well everyone, I decided to go with you and *under breath* steal your materia
Cloud: What?
Yuffie: Go on an adventure, if we stick together I know we can *under breath* steal your materia
Cloud: What?
Yuffie: Defeat Sephiroth, and I'll make sure while you're sleeping to *under breath* steal your materia
Cloud: What?
Yuffie: Steal your materia....oops

:monster2: :chuckle: Oh the joys! One of the many reasons I loathe Yuffie is because she never stops talking about friggin' materia.

[daggertrepe]

*at a craps table*
Man: Mr. Cait Sith you think you can beat me, I'd like to see you try
*Cait Sith rolls dice, guy falls over dead*

Yuffie: Well everyone, I decided to go with you and *under breath* steal your materia
Cloud: What?
Yuffie: Go on an adventure, if we stick together I know we can *under breath* steal your materia
Cloud: What?
Yuffie: Defeat Sephiroth, and I'll make sure while you're sleeping to *under breath* steal your materia
Cloud: What?
Yuffie: Steal your materia....oops

Cloud: I got experience points
Tifa: So did I
Barett: I dropped mine
Cloud: We got two chocobos
Tifa: Let's make a chocobo baby
Cloud: That's innapropriate
Aeris: I'm Aeris and I'm the last surviving ancient, i'm gonna save the *sword goes through her* ow, that hurt
Cloud: Someone give her a bandaid
Everyone: hahahaha
Cloud: The End

Hey! That Yuffie scene is from Newgrounds! O_O

[jesteranimefreak]

*at a craps table*
Man: Mr. Cait Sith you think you can beat me, I'd like to see you try
*Cait Sith rolls dice, guy falls over dead*

Yuffie: Well everyone, I decided to go with you and *under breath* steal your materia
Cloud: What?
Yuffie: Go on an adventure, if we stick together I know we can *under breath* steal your materia
Cloud: What?
Yuffie: Defeat Sephiroth, and I'll make sure while you're sleeping to *under breath* steal your materia
Cloud: What?
Yuffie: Steal your materia....oops

Cloud: I got experience points
Tifa: So did I
Barett: I dropped mine
Cloud: We got two chocobos
Tifa: Let's make a chocobo baby
Cloud: That's innapropriate
Aeris: I'm Aeris and I'm the last surviving ancient, i'm gonna save the *sword goes through her* ow, that hurt
Cloud: Someone give her a bandaid
Everyone: hahahaha
Cloud: The End

Hey! That Yuffie scene is from Newgrounds! O_O

That whole post was from some of the bonus scenes from Legendaryfrog's "All about Random Battles"

[Dell]

Tifa: Why must we live like this! Why can't we be together?
Cloud: I'm sorry, Tifa.....I can't. I already have someone I like.
Tifa: Who? Aeris?
Cloud: No....
Tifa: Then who, Yuffie? Elena?
Cloud: I like someone......
Tifa: WHO!?
Cloud: Sephiroth.
Tifa:....................................................................Never mind....
Cloud: Yes, I'm gay.

[Badge]

Cloud:Blah blah blah, Sephiroth don't you ever shut up. One with the planet..what a loud of BLEEEEPPPP!

[Twilight Edge]

I posted this in KH forums.

Sephy:What is Cloud doing?
Sora:Your ass.
Sephy:Hmm......I never knew he was behind me......
*Sora falls off cliff laughing*

These are from AC forums.

Sephiroth:Smother me in gravy you big dirty man.

Sephy:I'm flap-flap-flapping my albatross wings~~~

This is one I found on the KH forums.

Posted by Griff(probably)

Sephy:What is Cloud doing?
Sora:Your mom.
Sephy:So......that worthless creature......is stealing virginity away from mother......
*Sora falls off cliff laughing*

[Wuggly Blight]

Aeris: This man is sick.

[Levian]

Aeris: This man is sick.

[daggertrepe]

*Sephiroth is coming down on Aeris to kill her, but misses*

Sephiroth: Oh [img]/xxx.gif[/img][img]/xxx.gif[/img][img]/xxx.gif[/img][img]/xxx.gif[/img]...
Aeris: Hey...what's going on-
Cloud: *Chops her in half*
Aeris: Oww...
Tifa: Oooh...didn't see THAT coming! *Hugs Cloud*
Sephiroth: Yea, but you see ME comming!
Tifa: Yea, I knew it was gonna happen all along. Too bad it didn't. All that matters is that Aeris is finally dead!
Cloud: Tifa...I had no idea what I was doing. *sobs*
Tifa: What? Did you just say you LOVE her? *Punches him*
Sephiroth: Oh well, bring out Jenova
Jenova: *Dances out to 50 cent*
Nanaki: Ya...this can't be good.
Aeris: Uh....HELLOOOO! I'm like, BLEEDING here!

[DarkLord]

Cloud: I don't wanna save the world today.

Vincent: I'm feeling delightfully happy today

Tifa: To hell with cloud, I'm goin' gay.

Ruby Weapon: Meow

Sephiroth: No Cloud, I am your father.

Cait Sith: Everybody loves me

Nanaki: That's not my dad, he wasn't made of stone.

Stab Stab Stab
Aeris: Careful where your putting that sword Sephy...
Stab Stab
Sephiroth: Why won't you die!

Sephiroth: I think I'll join Cloud for a while