Things KH Characters Would Never Say

[~Storm Ninja~]

later...

Zaimaxu: well, we were bound to run into this eventually...
Maxs: yeah, but it was worth it...
Zaimaxu: Depends on your definition of 'Worth it"...
Axel: on your knees
*Zai and Max are in a state of utter disgust and fear, then axel walks away...*
Zai & Max: Phew...

*Zai & Max get smoked by chakrams*

Axel: STE-RIIIKE!

later...

Zai: wait... Zex can't prove that we did it, because he never atually saw us do it.
Max: and with any luck, we can play innocent *gets smoked by chakram*
Zai: as for that, I have an idea... OH MASTER? WOULDN'T YOU LIKE A NICE, REFRESHING TEQUILA?
Axel: well, I am rather parxhed. Make it so.

*15 glasses later*

*Axel throws chakram and misses horribly*

Zai: wait... it gets better. Hey Axel, why don't you show Larxene that attack you've been working on?
Axel: Whell... It ish really cool.. Shure...

*Axel stumbles into Larx's room and starts to charge up, followed by a massive, alcohol powered explosion*

Maxs: Is there anything we can't do?
Zai: Survive if we get caught?
Maxs: good point.

Later...

Axel: Mff Mff MFfffMFFFmfF (how did I end up in HERE?)
Zexion: MMFF mmff mmf... (Join the club...)

END? probably not.

[Clawsze]

later...

Zaimaxu: well, we were bound to run into this eventually...
Maxs: yeah, but it was worth it...
Zaimaxu: Depends on your definition of 'Worth it"...
Axel: on your knees
*Zai and Max are in a state of utter disgust and fear, then axel walks away...*
Zai & Max: Phew...

*Zai & Max get smoked by chakrams*

Axel: STE-RIIIKE!

later...

Zai: wait... Zex can't prove that we did it, because he never atually saw us do it.
Max: and with any luck, we can play innocent *gets smoked by chakram*
Zai: as for that, I have an idea... OH MASTER? WOULDN'T YOU LIKE A NICE, REFRESHING TEQUILA?
Axel: well, I am rather parxhed. Make it so.

*15 glasses later*

*Axel throws chakram and misses horribly*

Zai: wait... it gets better. Hey Axel, why don't you show Larxene that attack you've been working on?
Axel: Whell... It ish really cool.. Shure...

*Axel stumbles into Larx's room and starts to charge up, followed by a massive, alcohol powered explosion*

Maxs: Is there anything we can't do?
Zai: Survive if we get caught?
Maxs: good point.

Later...

Axel: Mff Mff MFfffMFFFmfF (how did I end up in HERE?)
Zexion: MMFF mmff mmf... (Join the club...)

END? probably not.

You are RIGHT!!!

7 weeks later....

Maxs: mmm......what is it Zai.
Zai: (knocking on Maxs's room door....)GET OUT NOW, WE NEED TO GO.....NOW!!!
Maxs: Why....I likey sleepy.....
Zai:1. Zexion gets his casts off today.
2. So does Axel, but he won't remember anything.
3. until Larxene tell him what happened....
4. He remembers WE WERE THE ONES TO TELL HIM TO DO THAT!!!

Maxs: (Checks calender)......DAMN....(gets clothes on and barges out of room)
Demyx: Whats happening.....
Roxas: ......damn.....yawn.....what are you doing......
Maxs: YOU SEE NOTHIN' YOU HEAR NOTHIN'(Knocks out both of them)

In the medical room the next day.....

Zexion: So what happened to you two....
Demyx: Mff MFFF mm MF mf mf(We were knocked out by Maxs and Zai....)
Roxas: MFF mf mmm FFF mmffmmf(Then thrown out in the city, tied up)
Demyx: MMff mmfff mf mf mmmf MMFF(Let's just say the heartless out there aren't friendly....)
Axel: Right......YOU TWO!!!!
Maxs: Yo, how you feelin'
Zexion: I'LL KILL YOU!!!
Zai: NOW!!!
Maxs: YOU SEE NOTHIN'(Throws a small nuclear bomb in the room, just big enouth to blow the 4 up)YOU HEAR NOTHIN'.(Runs like hell)
Zai: Bye, Bye my favourite nobodies(follows Maxs)

5 minutes later...

Vexen: Where is my nuclear grenade and what was the bang in the Med room....

Maxs&Zai: LUXORD DID IT!!!

[~Storm Ninja~]

5 weeks later...

Zai: I think we're okay until Vexen finishes with the hazmat work...
Maxs: Yeah, how did they survive that!?
Zai: we're superpowered nobodies... I mean, god... axel is a nuklear bomb on LEGS.
Maxs: You may have a point...

Later... after luxord and vexen had a long talk...

man - Xemnas: Numbers 14 and 15

Zai/Maxs: HE DID IT!!!

Xemnas: *takes their picture* *sticks picture on a plaque

Maxs: IT STEALS MY SOUUUUL!!

Zai: Bwuh?

Xemnas: You two officially win Evildoers of the Month... Congradulations.

Zai: WOO!!

Xemnas: Everyone must hear about your accomplishments as evil underlings...

Maxs: God DAMN!!!

to be continued? *jaws theme*

[Dragonface]

~Wrong Fan club~

Larxene: WTF IS SORA FAN CLUB?!?*Saw a picure of Roxas* THERE IT IS! *Enter Roxas Fan Club* SORA I'M YOUR BIGGIST FAN!
Roxas: Um Larxene...Sora Fan Club is on the other side of the town...
Larxene: WTF?!?

[stalpho slayer]

Axel:I'm leaving the organization!
Larxene: No Axel Don't!!!!:surprised
Xemnas: Hey! I'm the leader here! I give the commands!
Axel:...Ok! I'm leaving!!!! L-E-A-V-I-N-G, got it memorised?
Larxene: Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! Plz don't!!! I must confess sth....
Axel:....Well.... What??? W-H-A-T, got it memorised?
Xemnas: (eating pop corn).... keep going....
Larxene: Axel, I love youuuuuu!!!!!
Axel:And....?
Xemnas: (talking to himself: That could be a great film!) DEMYX, COME HERE NOW!!!!!!!!!!
Demyx: (running) What's up, boss?
Xemnas: I told you NOT to call me that!
Demyx:Sorry, boss.... You wanted sth?
Xemnas: ... Whatever! Play something romantic... NOW!

Back to Axel and Larxene

Axel: HEY! Are you going to say anything else or not..?!! N-O-T, got it memorised?
Larxene:.....I.....am.... well... pre-.... PREGNANT!!!!
Axel:WHAAAAAAAAT????????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Larxene:P-R-E-G-N-A-N-T! Got it memorised???
Axel: (thinking: Hey! That's my quote!)........
Larxene:So?

In the meantime the whole organisation has gathered up, watching the scene...

Xemnas: LOUDER the music, Demyx! (The popcorn is tastefull, or that movie could win ALL the OSCARS????)
Demyx:Ok, boss!!! (OMG it's so touching... :kaobeg2: Axel will become a father... I WANT, TOO!)
Xemnas :
Axel:Well... Then.... I.... guess... that... (singing) I WILL BECOME A FATHER! I WILL BECOME A FATHER! I WILL BECOME A FATHER! I WILL BECOME A FATHER! F-A-T-H-E-R, Got it memorised????? Got it memorised????? Got it memorised?????
Larxene:........... (Why did I tell him?....?)

Riku and Sora break in….!

Sora: Where’s Kairi??????
Riku: We know that she’s here!!!
Sora: That Axel, kidnapped her!!!!!

Noone notice them….

Sora: Riku?
Riku: Yeah…
Sora: Do you see, what I see?
Riku: I think…. So….

Axel is down on his knees, rubbing Larxene’s belly…

Axel: Sora! Riku! Welcome, my friends!
Sora: Are you serious….?
Riku: We are ENEMIES, you know….
Axel: That’s past! Join my happiness! (singing) I WILL BECOME A FATHER! I WILL BECOME A FATHER! I WILL BECOME A FATHER! I WILL BECOME A FATHER!!!!!!!!!!
Sora, Riku: Hah????

Axel goes to Larxene…

Axel: (Very serious) We have to decide for something…
Larxene: Ok… What?
Axel: We have to decide on a name for our kid…
Larxene: I suggest…
Axel: Brilliant idea!!!
Larxene: !!!!!!!!??????!!!!!!
Axel: If it’s a boy Oxilver and if it’s a girl Xafy! Really bRRRRRilliant idea!
Larxene: Oxilver???? What kind of name is that?
Axel: An excellent one!
Larxene: I don’t like it!
Axel: I don’t care! I like it! Otherwise I’m leaving!!!!!!!
Larxene: ….. ok….. (Oxilver….? Whatever… Poor child….)
Xemnas: (singing) I LIKE IT! I LIKE IT! I LIKE IT! I LIKE IT! I LIKE IT! I LIKE IT! I LIKE IT! If I sell this scenario to Hollywood, I’ll get rich! Really rich! I won’t have to gather hearts, anymore!
Demyx: Can I stop playing now, boss?
Xemnas: I swear to God that if you call me boss again, I'll kill you!!!! Keep playing!
Demyx: Ok.... Sorry............. boss!
Xemnas: ......

While Xemnas is driven mad by Demyx, Kairi smashes the door...

Sora: Kairi!!! (running towards her)
Kairi: I love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Sora: Me too! (really happy!)
Kairi: Axel, I love you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (She ignores Sora and falls into Axel's hug!)
Sora:What????
Axel: Hah?
Kairi: From the first time I saw you, I felt sth in my stomach....
Sora: Please, let it be that she was hungry......
Kairi: I think I'm in love with you!!!!!!
Axel: Hah??? What's wrong with you people?????
Sora: Kairi!!!
Kairi: Shut up, you idiot! Don't you see that I'm talking with Axel???
Sora: Riku.... say something....
Riku: I won't tell that I told you, but I did!
Sora: Nice friend... Thanks a lot....
Axel: I know that I'm the most handsome guy in the whole planet (or the universe maybe???)... And you Kairi, are very beautifull, too.... I think, I can't resist....
Kairi: I knew it! Kiss me!
Sora:
Riku:
Larxene: :frust:
Axel: Ok, baby! B-A-B-Y, got it memorised? (Axel gives sloppy kisses to Kairi)
Riku:
Larxene: I'm sick of all these nonsense! Axel? I'm not pregnant! I told that so you wouldn't leave, but now I don't care!!! GO TO HELL WITH YOUR KAIRI!!!!
Axel: OHHHH! I forgot the baby.... WHAT????????????????? :sad: :sad: (faints...)
Larxene: AXEL??? MY AXEL???? Are you okay? (Kairi comes close) And you Kairi, GET AWAY:kaofight: !!!! Axel....? I lied.... I was kidding.... Of course I am pregnant! Open your eyes, now! Your beautiful emerald green eyes... PLEASEEEEEEE! AXEL......... If I tell you that there is a 99,9% possibility for our child to have the same red spiky hair, would you STAND UP NOW?????
Axel: What???? Really!!!! Larxene? My Larxene, I LOVE YOU!!!! Kairi means nothing to me! I swear to God....
Kairi: Sora? I love YOU!
Sora: :kaoupset: I don't, now!!!!
Riku::kaolaugh: :kaolaugh: :kaolaugh:
Kairi::kaobeg: :kaocry: :kaocry: :kaobeg2: :kaobeg2:
Sora: Oh, plz don't look at me like that....
Kairi: :kaobeg2: :kaobeg2: :kaobeg2: :kaobeg2:
Sora: Ok, ok, ok.... I love you, too!
Kairi: (thinking: yes! I found someone to spend my time! :hourglas: )

And in the end....

Axel: Larxene, will you marry me????
Larxene: Yes! YES! YES!
Axel: I love you!
Larxene: Me too!
Axel: I love Oxilver, too!
Larxene: (Here we go again.....)
THE END
Xemnas: It couldn't be better!!!!! I'M RICH! I'M RICH! I'M RICH! I'M RICH! I'M RICH! I'M RICH! Hollywood, here I come!!!!!!! :kaohappy2 Demyx, bring beers to celebrate! This film will be the best ever!!! I'll be famous! I'll get all the OSCARS and maybe the SCENARIO-NOBEL,too!!!!
Demyx: I'm playing the guitar, I can't go for beers, boss!
Xemnas: Bring them NOW or you are DEAD!!!!!
Demyx: Ok, without "boss"!!!
Xemnas: (after Demyx brought the beers) Cheers !!!!

Cast: Axel, Xemnas, Larxene, Demyx, Riku, Sora, Kairi and... THE BABY!!!!

how romantic:rolleyes2

[stalpho slayer]

Another Day in the life of Orga. XIII

Demyx: You know i'm right.
Axle: No. you'r wrong. W-R-O-N-G. Got it memorized?
Demyx: No i'm right!
Axle: No I am! A-M. Got it memorized?
*Saix walks in*
Saix: What are you fighting about now.
Demyx: witch FF is the best. I think it's FFIX
Axle: And I know it's FFVIII. F-F-V-I-I-I. Got it memorized?
Demyx: FFIX
Axle: FFVIII. F-F-V-I-I-I. Got it memorized?
Saix: Guys Guys.... we all know FFVII is the best.
*Zexion walks in*
Zexion: Cmon FFVI is the best. Infact, Xenmas will prove it.
*Everyone walks into Xenmas's room. Xenmas is playing a videogame.*
Demyx: What'ca playing?
Xenmas: FFI
Axle: EWWW!!! IT'S 8-BIT!! 8-B-I-T! Got it memorized?
Xenmas: Cmon, It's not that bad.
Saix: Yes it is! they don't even move to the other side of the field! unlike in FFVII were they do.
Demyx: And they can't trance!
Axle: So? Limit was soooooooooo much cooler! C-O-O-L-E-R! Got it memorized?
Zexion: Limit's and trance just make the game easyer. true pros don't need it.
Xenmas: Thats enough!! All of you leave before I kill you!
Demyx: AHHHH!!! DON'T HURT ME!!!
*Demyx dissapears*
Zexion: ummmm.... ehh.... *Dissapears*
Saix: Yes Glorious leader *Dissapears*
Axle: ...
Xenmas: ...
Axle ...
Xenmas: ...
Axle: Fine i'll leave. L-E-A-V-E. Got it memor--
Xenmas: YES I GOT IT FREAKING MEMORIZED JUST LEAVE!!!!
*Axle dissapers*
Xenmas: finally.
*Demyx reapeares"
Demyx: FFIX rocks! *dissapears*
*Xenmas gets mad and bashes his NES with his lightsaber then sees what he did.*
Xenmas: FFI! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
*One room below*
*Marluxia bashes his cealing with the back end of his scythe*
Marluxia: SHUT UP XENMAS! I'M TRYING TO GET SOME SLEEP AFTER PLAYING FFXI FOR 37hr!!!!!!!!

/Fin. F-I-N. Got it memorized?

OMG that was effin hilarious!!! :kaolaugh:

Axel is my favorite Organization XIII member , and he's right: Final Fantasy VIII is the best!!! :kaohappy2
B-E-S-T. Got it memorized?

no way VII is the best hands down

[~Storm Ninja~]

VI! IT'S VI! IT HAS MOG IN IT!

[arcanedude34]

You guys are kinda getting a little completey way off topic.

[Dragonface]

Saïx: Kingdom Hearts, where is my heart?
Kingdom Heart: I thought you don't want your heart back?
Saïx: O_O , OH GREAT ONE!
*Xemnas apear*
Xemnas: I told you once, I told you 1000000 times. DON'T CALL ME GREAT ONE!
Saïx: But Kingdom Hearts spoke!
Xemnas: ...hold on for a second...*Dr Nobodies apear*...Saïx your going to the 'happy' house.
*Dr Nobodies drag Saïx to the nut house*
Xemnas: You five saw nothing, you didn't see anything...*Xemnas disapear*
Sora: What hes taking about?
Riku: If you think thats odd, try his Heartless counter-part.
Ansem(KH1): I HEARD THAT!
Riku: SHUT UP!

[~Storm Ninja~]

lol?

KHII FM+ SECRET ENDING

SPOILERS! SHIELD YOUR EYES IF YOU'RE ONE OF THE TWO PEOPLE WHO NEVER SAW IT

*enigmatic soldier dashes at bald guy who lifts up the earth, and rises a mountain*

ES: You've gotta be f**king kidding me...

[Marluxiaswife]

*At Castle Oblivion*

Axel:I can't eat this anymore...i have restoration! *throws out window* AHHHHH *farts*

Marluxia:......Your nasty.....And you didn't make any sents....

*Later*

Marluxia:So whats the real reason why you couldn't eat the spaghetti?

Axel:Well....*puts his hands on his sides* The spaghetti cold...

Marluxia:You stupited!, you could of warmed it up with your fire power!

Axel:....I never thought of that....

[Clawsze]

5 weeks later...

Zai: I think we're okay until Vexen finishes with the hazmat work...
Maxs: Yeah, how did they survive that!?
Zai: we're superpowered nobodies... I mean, god... axel is a nuklear bomb on LEGS.
Maxs: You may have a point...

Later... after luxord and vexen had a long talk...

man - Xemnas: Numbers 14 and 15

Zai/Maxs: HE DID IT!!!

Xemnas: *takes their picture* *sticks picture on a plaque

Maxs: IT STEALS MY SOUUUUL!!

Zai: Bwuh?

Xemnas: You two officially win Evildoers of the Month... Congradulations.

Zai: WOO!!

Xemnas: Everyone must hear about your accomplishments as evil underlings...

Maxs: God DAMN!!!

to be continued? *jaws theme*

......IT SHALL CONTINUE......Part......whatever....

Maxs:So we win this evil-whatchamajiga for blowing people up and destoying Xig's home?
Xemnas: Yup
Zai: Whats the prize?
Xemnas: Protection against every nobody except Marluxia, me, Saix, Xaldin and Leaxeus.
Maxs: The only members we HAVEN'T blew up......I'll meet you in Vexens lab, Zai....
Zai: Bring some explosive putty and laser spray....


LET THE MASSACRE CONTINUE!!!!

[~Storm Ninja~]

*5 Minutes Later*

*In Xemnas' room*

*xemnas looks at mass carnage, maxs and zai are charcoal black*

I forgot to mention... any permanent damage to the castle comes out of your paycheks...

Zai: We're gonna be washing dishes on this one aren't we?

Xemnas: You're smarter than you look.

[Clawsze]

.......just had to make this dramatic.....

:fencing: :shoot: :meditate: THE END!!!!:meditate: :shoot: :fencing:
or is it....

[Alsray]

here is a try:

Sora: Lets go wait for Ansem and ambush him!
Donald & Goofy: yeah!

The went to a spot they knew he would be at

Sora: How long have we been waiting here?
Donald: 3 Hours.

Sora: 3 HOURS!! I hope Nothing bad happened to him!