Things KH Characters Would Never Say

[Twilight Edge]

One day, Organization XIII and Namine got bored and set up an opera based on an episode of Futurama!

Axel: Look, what do you want?
Xemnas: I WANT MY HANDS BACK! AHAHAHAHA!!
Axel: NEVER! A deal’s a deal, even with a dirty dealer!
Xemnas: Very well, then I’ll take what I want FROM LARXENE.
Larxene: WHOA!*gets dragged on stage*
Xemnas: Larxene has promised me her HAND.
*crowd gasps*
Larxene: Axel you do not understand!
*cue soft music and spotlight*
Larxene: I should’ve revealed I’ve been deafened by Demyx, the shame, the SHAME. But I feared you stopped writing this musical splendor, deception is the curse of my whimsical gender, he gave me mechanical ears. Effective though just a bit garish, in return without shedding a tear, I agreed that I’d give him my HAND.
Xemnas: In marriage.
Larxene: What?
Xemnas: You’ll give me your hand IN MARRIAGE.
Roxas: Is this really happening, or just be in stage?
Zexion: It can’t be real.
Namine: Now that Larxene is encaged.
Larxene: That isn’t what I’ve meant, that isn’t what I’ve signed!
Xemnas: You should’ve checked the wording in my FINE……PRINT.
Larxene: I’ll give you my hand……
Xemnas/Larxene: *low sound*In marriage.
Demyx: The use of words expressing something other than their little real intention……now, THAT, IS, IRONY.
*Lexaeus gets dragged on stage*
Xemnas: I will marry her now, and confine her to tell. How drow, how DROW. Where sticks is a river, and not just a man, to the play our reception if all goes as planned, *demonic music*UNLESS AXEL YOU SURRENDER MY HANDS!
*cue sad music and spotlight*
Axel: Destiny has cheated me, by forcing me to decide upon, the woman that I idolize, or the hands of man I torn upon. Without these hands, I can’t complete the opera that was captivating her. But if I keep them, and she marries him, then he probably won’t…… want me dating her.
*crowd cheers*
Luxord: Grughgggg.
Marluxia: Very well! Encore!
*dramatic music*
Zexion: I can’t believe the devil is so unforgiving.
Vexen: I can’t believe everybody’s just that BELIEVING.
Lexaeus: BY THE POWERS THIS DELINQUENT IN THE STATES OF WHOLE NEW YORK……
*very dramatic music*
Axel: NOOOOOO!*pushes them apart* STOP! TAKE MY HANDS! YOU EVIL……METAL……DORK!!!!*sob*
Xemnas: AHAHAHAH!!!
Larxene: *gasp*
*slash*

FIN.

[Jessweeee♪]

I love futurama!

[*~Angel Wing~*]

~ In Havoc's Divide ~

Luxord: We'll play a little game.
Sora: I got a bet in mind.
Luxord: Oh realy, do tell.
Sora: If you win, you'll get all of our hearts.
Riku,Kairi,Donald&Goofy: NOOOOOOO.
Luxord: That sound too easy, what happen if I lose?
Sora: You, Axel and Demyx will help us to take down Sephiroth and Xemnas, as well to never take any hearts again.
Luxord: Deal, so what the game?
Sora: Guess what colour Kairi's panties are? Lucky for you I don't know that as well so its a fair bet.
Kairi: WHAT? YOU GOT TO BE...
Luxord: Pink.
Sora: Ok Kairi, bend down.
Kairi: NO! Riku can you tell...
*Riku, Donald and Goofy force Kairi to bend over and show her bear a$$*
*Luxord and Sora had a nose bleed*
Luxord: NO PANTIES????
*Riku's nose bleed, Donald and Goofy gong to puke (They're not human after all), and Kairi got pissed*
Sora: That means, you loss the bet.

~ Later at behind the door of Kingdom Heart ~

Xemnas: Time to die Key Bearers.
Luxord: Pick a card.
Demyx: Dance water dance.
Axel: It time to pay for what you done to Roxas.
Xemnas: WTF?????
Sora: Its Nine of use vs one of you. 11 of us if you also cont Roxas and Naminé. The odds dosen't favor you.
Xemnas: Crap...

lol as perverted as it is, you can actually see Kairi's underwear in the game if you play around with the camera. Unfortunately someone showed me, and I know for a fact Kairi's underwear is white.

[IceAngel]

Lol random Angel Wing!

Futurama rox!

[*~Angel Wing~*]

lol it's true though!!!

[sir helix]

This is set at the end of KHII while Sora and Riku are standed and sitting on the shore...

Riku: Sora, you realize that it will just be you and me for the rest of our lives, right?
Sora: What do you mean? We will get out of here...*long pause* Somehow...
Riku: Get real! Look around you! I do not see any way out.
Sora: *looks around* Good point...

*time passes*

Riku: So you know, we are at that age where we want to...you know...
Sora: Geez Riku, what are you talking about?
Riku: *exasperated sigh* What I mean is, we are standed here to the end of time and we will die virgins...unless...
Sora: Unless?
Riku: *sighs and shakes head* You are hopeless...*looks to Sora and smirks*
Sora: Riku, why are you looking at me like that?
Riku: Shh...*leans towards Sora*
Sora: *blushes*

*scene blacks out to some time later*

wy i never herd of such filth towards the keyblade master
this is just undisneyin

[sir helix]

why did mickey beat the [img]/xxx.gif[/img][img]/xxx.gif[/img][img]/xxx.gif[/img][img]/xxx.gif[/img] out of minnie?
because she was smurfing goofy.

you cant bet the hell out of her for smurfing goofy

mickey: no she was smurfing GOOFY

[leader of mortals]

*Sora and Kairi and Riku walking by eachother*
Riku: Hi Kairi
Sora: Hi Riku
Riku: DID I TALK TO YOU YOU DUMBASS!!!!!! NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!
Sora: ..............
Riku: AND NOW YOU ARE [img]/xxx.gif[/img][img]/xxx.gif[/img][img]/xxx.gif[/img][img]/xxx.gif[/img][img]/xxx.gif[/img]ING QUIET!!!!!!!!
Sora: ................
*Riku kills Sora*
Kairi:
*Kairi justs walks away like she didnt see anything*

Meh it sucked

[Dragonface]

~ In Raccoon City ~

Sora: Um guys...?
Donald&Goofy: WHAT?
Sora: Where are we?
Goofy: I don't know, huk huk huk.
Donald: Yen Sid send us the wrong world, lets...
???: STARS!!!
Sora: What was...that...?
*Sora turn around and look at the one eye Nemesis (From Resident Evil 3), Sora wet his pants and ran away*
Sora: AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
Nemesis: STARS...?*Bing*KEYBEARER.
*Nemesis ran after Sora. Donald and Goofy are dumbfold.*
Donald: What are we going to do?

[Pathfinder]

mickey(letter):dear gooffy and donald find me the key A.S.A.P!!!!if not i'll fire ur sorry as*ess.....ps-get me a ladder
goofy and donald:crap!!we better find it fast!!
--------------after hours of searching-----------
goofy:IVE FOUND IT!!!!I FOUND THE KEY!!!!WOOT!!
donald:great....now we gotta find de stupid ladder................
----------------after a couple of hours--------------
donald & goofy:we found it!!we report to the king at once!!
-----------soon------------
sora:hey guys....what took so long??
mickey:yea WTF took so long??!!
donald&goofy:well....it wasnt an easy task your majesty....
sora:well...u guys took so long to find de bathroom key n a ladder...so i just gave de king a bottle to piss in....
mickey:u idiots are FIRED!!!why did they make these doors so frickin big anyway?

[Dragonface]

~ In Raccoon City ~

Sora: Um guys...?
Donald&Goofy: WHAT?
Sora: Where are we?
Goofy: I don't know, huk huk huk.
Donald: Yen Sid send us the wrong world, lets...
???: STARS!!!
Sora: What was...that...?
*Sora turn around and look at the one eye Nemesis (From Resident Evil 3), Sora wet his pants and ran away*
Sora: AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
Nemesis: STARS...?*Bing*KEYBEARER.
*Nemesis ran after Sora. Donald and Goofy are dumbfold.*
Donald: What are we going to do?

...And our four heroes Sora, Donald, Goofy and their new friend (or pet?) Nemesis still going to where Yen Sid send them (for a second time).

~ In Silent Hill ~

Sora: Ummm...
Donald: I DON'T KNOW SORA!!!
Goofy: Why not ask Nemesis, he might know where are we.
Nemesis: *Growled* SILENT HILL *Growled*
Sora: So he does know WHERE are we...wait a second...*Look at the map (thought no idea how got in the first place)* GOD DAMN IT!!!! WRONG PLACE AGAIN!!!!
*James (From Silent Hill 2) ran and found our heroes*
James: Hay guy. Have you see my wife, Mary.
Donald: THAT ####'IN YEN A$$ SID H@!$, I'LL KILL HIM!!!!!!!!

[Edge7]

I love futurama!

I can't think of anything right now, but these are all funny

[qwertysaur]

~ In Raccoon City ~

Sora: Um guys...?
Donald&Goofy: WHAT?
Sora: Where are we?
Goofy: I don't know, huk huk huk.
Donald: Yen Sid send us the wrong world, lets...
???: STARS!!!
Sora: What was...that...?
*Sora turn around and look at the one eye Nemesis (From Resident Evil 3), Sora wet his pants and ran away*
Sora: AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
Nemesis: STARS...?*Bing*KEYBEARER.
*Nemesis ran after Sora. Donald and Goofy are dumbfold.*
Donald: What are we going to do?

...And our four heroes Sora, Donald, Goofy and their new friend (or pet?) Nemesis still going to where Yen Sid send them (for a second time).

~ In Silent Hill ~

Sora: Ummm...
Donald: I DON'T KNOW SORA!!!
Goofy: Why not ask Nemesis, he might know where are we.
Nemesis: *Growled* SILENT HILL *Growled*
Sora: So he does know WHERE are we...wait a second...*Look at the map (thought no idea how got in the first place)* GOD DAMN IT!!!! WRONG PLACE AGAIN!!!!
*James (From Silent Hill 2) ran and found our heroes*
James: Hay guy. Have you see my wife, Mary.
Donald: THAT ####'IN YEN A$$ SID H@!$, I'LL KILL HIM!!!!!!!!

Still much later in a third world( a random forest)

Sora: Where are we now???
Goofy: Ahyuck, I dunno.
Sora: That doen't help at all.
Donald: Well we better be in the right place or I'm using Fla...
???: BELIVE IT!!!!
All: WTF???
*Naruto leaps out of Bush*
Naruto Belive it ( Repeats for several hours)
Nemisis: PEST:rolleyes2
Goofy: Look out a heartless
*A shadow enters the keyhole*
Sora: uhh, bye
*Sora and co enter Gummi ship*
Naruto: Belive it Belive it Belive it Belive it Belive it Belive it Belive it Belive it (world dissapears)
Donald: QWAAAK YEN SID!!!!!!

[Jessweeee♪]

[Dragonface]

~ In Raccoon City ~

Sora: Um guys...?
Donald&Goofy: WHAT?
Sora: Where are we?
Goofy: I don't know, huk huk huk.
Donald: Yen Sid send us the wrong world, lets...
???: STARS!!!
Sora: What was...that...?
*Sora turn around and look at the one eye Nemesis (From Resident Evil 3), Sora wet his pants and ran away*
Sora: AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
Nemesis: STARS...?*Bing*KEYBEARER.
*Nemesis ran after Sora. Donald and Goofy are dumbfold.*
Donald: What are we going to do?

...And our four heroes Sora, Donald, Goofy and their new friend (or pet?) Nemesis still going to where Yen Sid send them (for a second time).

~ In Silent Hill ~

Sora: Ummm...
Donald: I DON'T KNOW SORA!!!
Goofy: Why not ask Nemesis, he might know where are we.
Nemesis: *Growled* SILENT HILL *Growled*
Sora: So he does know WHERE are we...wait a second...*Look at the map (thought no idea how got in the first place)* GOD DAMN IT!!!! WRONG PLACE AGAIN!!!!
*James (From Silent Hill 2) ran and found our heroes*
James: Hay guy. Have you see my wife, Mary.
Donald: THAT ####'IN YEN A$$ SID H@!$, I'LL KILL HIM!!!!!!!!

Still much later in a third world( a random forest)

Sora: Where are we now???
Goofy: Ahyuck, I dunno.
Sora: That doen't help at all.
Donald: Well we better be in the right place or I'm using Fla...
???: BELIVE IT!!!!
All: WTF???
*Naruto leaps out of Bush*
Naruto Belive it ( Repeats for several hours)
Nemisis: PEST:rolleyes2
Goofy: Look out a heartless
*A shadow enters the keyhole*
Sora: uhh, bye
*Sora and co enter Gummi ship*
Naruto: Belive it Belive it Belive it Belive it Belive it Belive it Belive it Belive it (world dissapears)
Donald: QWAAAK YEN SID!!!!!!

...As our five heroes (Yes James just tag along)...

~ On Halo ~

James: Are we there yet?
Goofy: NO!!!!!!!
{Repete for hours}
Donald: YOU TWO JUST STFU!!!!!
Sora: Where are we?
Nemesis: Ha...
Sora: I KNOW, I KNOW!!!! WE'RE AT HALO!!!!!
*A yellow Bounty Hunter rolled to Sora, stand up*
AYBH: Who the heck are you?
Sora: I'm Sora, thats duck is Donald, Dog's Goofy, the man whos pissing goofy of is James, and last is Nemesis. What's yours, sir?
*AYBH took his hemlet and show...is a SHE*
Samus: Its Samus Aran (From Metroid Games) , the BOUNTY HUNTRESS.
*Ding! Samus join team*
{5 secends later}
Sora: Oh boy....
*Ding! Sora learn "Horny Attack"*
*Ding! Samus & Nemesis learn "Twin Rockets"*