Things KH Characters Would Never Say

[arcanedude34]

Cloud: Sephiroth!
Sephiroth: Karen? Is that you?
Cloud: Huh...?
Sephiroth: Take that back about my mama!
Cloud: Are you... drunk?
Sephiroth: LOLOLOLOL... You're alright, Cloud.
Cloud: Ummm...:sweatdrop
Seohiroth: Hey Cloud wanna hear a secret?
Cloud: ...
Spehiroth: Tifa's hawt.
Cloud: ...
Sephiroth: Wanna hear another secret?
Cloud: ...
Sephiroth: YOUR MOM!
Sora: Cloud? Is Sephiroth drunk?
Cloud: I think so.
Goofy: Is that what it's like to be drunk? I'm never gonna drink again a-hyuk.
Cloud: ...
Sephiroth: *naked* IM STREAKING!! W00T!
Cloud:
Sora:
Goofy:
Tifa:
Donald:

(Ohh, yeah. Donald likes it ^^)

[Dragonface]

~ At TWTNW, meeting room ~

Xemnas: Ok everynoone settel down.
Axel: What is this meet about THIS time?
Marluxia: I'm the lowest member here...*crying*...Axel burn my petties...
Axel: Quit it fag boy, pinky boy, girly man, homo...
Xemnas: SHUT UP! Now as your wondering why we're here right? *All other Nobodies nod* Good, now read the TODAYS newspaper. It says "Is the Organization the bad guys or gay guys?" We need a way to stop this from getting around?
Axel: I can think of three members that are gay. 1) He sing like a girl [Demyx]. 2) He act like a girl [Marluxia]. 3) His name can reput as 'Mansex' [Xemnas].
Demyx: I have an idea!
Xemnas: What the idea is?
Demyx: Get a REAL FEMALE NOBODY to become out member.
Xemnas: Thats...not a bad idea at all, infact its the first 'good' idea you can come up with.
Demyx: THANKS SIR!!!!
Xemnas: Don't push you luck...

* A week later, Xemnas' room*

Saïx: Oh great one...
Xemnas: Drop the 'great one' line, now what do you want.
Saïx: ...I found our new soon-to-be member...
Xemnas: Tell him to piss off...
Saïx: ...Her name is Larxene.
Xemnas: I don't AND can't care about...wait a minute...you said 'Her'? As in a FEMALE?
Saïx: ...Yup.
Xemnas: ...Well?
Saïx: Well what?
Xemnas: What are you waiting for? welcome our new member and show her around, I'll tell every other Nobodies that we finally got a FIRST FEMALE MEMBER!
Saïx: What are you talking about?
Xemnas: Were you at the meeting last week?
Saïx: No, I was out to pay the bills thanks to Luxord.
*Outside Xemnas' room*
Larxene: WHAT HAVE I GOT MYSELF INTO THIS TIME?

[Clawsze]

(In TWtNW kitchen)

Xemnas: Okay....since Axel burned our old table we are having to use a air hockey table...
Xaldin:..air means wind doesn't it?(somehow turns the table on with his wind powers)
Demyx:....Hey Roxas, pass the sauce.
Roxas:Here(slides sauce bottle to Demyx)
Demyx: (covered in Ketchup)YOU LEFT IT OPEN!!!!DANCE WATER DANCE!!(the rest of the sauce flys towards Roxas, missing barely)
Xigbar:...Demyx...(loads guns)
Demyx: Crap...
Roxas:Phew...
Axel: Must.....say....it....FOOD FIGHT!!!

20 minutes later.

Xemnas: After todays...incedent there shall be a ban on ANY thing which isn't a table, but can be used as one.
Xaldin:NNNOOOO, not the air hockey table....(grabs lances).....Roxas.....Axel....Demyx.....go.....stabbity.....STABBITY!!!!

[dragontamer]

[Albel]

In TWtNW

Roxas:Hey, Axel. Do you want to see a really cool move that I learnt.
Axel: Do I have too?
Roxas:Yeah, its cool *The keyblade appears in my hand and starts vibrating fast* See, ts cool.
Axel:Man, thats sucks ass.
Larxene: *runs up to Roxas and Axel* Errmm..can I borrow that, mine broke *She grabs his keyblade and runs off*
Roxas & Axel:

[Dragonface]

[The UFO]

~ in TWTNW, Meeting room ~

Xemnas: Settel down...
*All other Nobodies still talking*
Xemnas: SHUT UP OR I'LL KICK YOUR a$$...?
*Larxene walk in, puke on Saïx's hair and sit down in her seat*
Xemnas: What happen THIS time Larxene? Drinking?
Larxene:...UFO...Anal...Probing...
*All other Nobodies thinks Larxene is joking*
Larxene: ...Carry...Alien...Baby...
All other Nobodies: o.O
Xemnas: ROXAS, GO FIND YOUR OTHER AND BRING HIM HERE! AND RIKU!
Roxas: Fine *Starts going for a hunt for Sora and Riku*

~ Elsewhere, Deep Space (when you are not on any world) ~

Alien1: Have you plant my seeds in her? *Point to a picuter of Larxene*
Alien2: Yes brother, soon she'll give birth to your child.
Alien1: Ofcorse my dear sisther.
Alien1&2: HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

[Xehanort(Heartless) or Xemnas(Nobody)?]

~ In TWTNW, Axel's room ~

Axel: Got 7?
Demyx: Fish.
Roxas: Fish.
Larxene: Fish.
Naminé: Here. *About to pass card '7' to Axel when...*
Xemnas? (Intercom): When I call for out next meeting, every Nobodies must be there as...NUDE...as wearing nothing...Thats same goes for you Naminé...that is all for now...
Axel: Is it me or he's getting even more nutter?
~ Xemnas' Room ~
Xehanort: Thoese fools, they don't know what hit them, MAAA HA HA HA *Leave the room, Xemnas just came in his room*
Xemnas: I got to tell every Nobodies about this *Turn the intercom*
~ Back to Axel's Room ~
Xemnas: ALL NOBODIES MUST GO TO THE MEETING ROOM NOW!
Axel: We better do what he said...
~ 5 Minutes later, in the Meeting room ~
Xemnas:*Just came in* Ok I need to...um...why are you Nobodies are wearing...nothing?
Zexion: ...Because you said so.
Xemnas: ...?

[Clawsze]

(In TWtNW, Proof of existence)

Axel: (Sneaking out of room IX with a Sitar)

the next morning....

Demyx:....lalalalala....WHERES MY SITAR!!!

On the Altar of Naught....

Axel: (holding Sitar) Oh look at me, I'm Demyx, and I have a big, blue C
Roxas, Luxord and Marluxia: LOLOLOLOL

(Xemnas looks out of window)

Xemnas: He's finally grown up (cries)

Demyx:......My Sitar-is-being-misused-in-a-insulting-way-to-me sences are tingling.

Axel: ("playing" with the Sitar) LALALALAALALALAL......oh....hey Demyx.
Demyx: (holding...LEMON JUICE)Dance...
Axel:no...no...
Demyx:water....
Axel: Demyx....don't do it!
Demyx: DANCE!!!(Lemon Juice goes into Axels eyes)
Axel:THE PAIN....
X, XI and XIII: Uhhh.....(Demyx looks at them with more lemon juice)RUUUNNNN

[Marluxiaswife]

Yuna: I want to find him....

Rikku:Er...Yuna?

Paine:This isn't Final Fantasy X-2....

Yuna:who cares!, i wanna find him! *cries*

*Later meeting in Hollow Bastion with Co.*

Sora:So what should we do?

Yuna:*clears throat* um...can you help me find him?...

Sora:Hun?..who's him?

Yuna:You know him...

Sora:*looks at Donald* him? *points*

Donald:Ahh!! Hey!

Yuna:No not him...Him!

Sora:*points at Goofy*

Yunarrrr...No...

Rikku: *whipers in Yuna's ear* He meet him before...

Yuna:*nods* You meet him before...but...he's not here...so can you help me find him?

Sora:Un...o.k...what does he look like?

Yuna:Well...He has spikey curl out hair...kind of like me and...

Sora:Oh!...un...i'll be back it's gonna take a while! *runs*

Donald and Goofy:

*Later*

Sora:Hey girl i found him!

Yuna:Really?!

Sora:Yeah..it was hard seen he was dead...

Yuna:Yes..Yes...*nods*

Sora:*pulls his arm and he comes in*

Yuna:OH IT'S....Not you...who is that?...Thats not him!

Sora:Yes it is... Tell Her Marluxia

Yuna:What what?!

Rikku and Paine:

Marluxixa: *looks at Yuna*

Yuna:Un...Oh...

Marluxia:Why did you leave me?!

Yuna:Un...

Rikku:Yuna whats this all about?

Paine:Really.....

Sora:

Donald & Goofy:

Marluxia:Me and you had alot of fun that night!

Yuna:Um....

Rikku:What fun?...

Paine whipers in Rikku ears

Rikku:

Yuna:I better...leave....*flys away*

Marluxia:Wait you can't leave me again! *runs after Yuna*

Sora:My work here is done

Donald:O.o

Goofy:Aw...true love

Rikku:Bad Yunie!

Paine:

[Clawsze]

(In Alantica(KH1))

Sora:AARRGHHHH...I'M DROWNING.....AND THE MUSIC.....ARRGGGHHHH!!!!

[Dragonface]

~ At Radiant Garden, Merlin's house ~

Sora: hey guys...ummm whats wrong with Leon?*Point to Squall*
Cid: Some Resident Evil character was so piss to our guy for stealing his name.
Leon 'Squall': Mommy, mommy, mommy...
~ Outside... ~
Leon Kennedy: COME OUT NAME STEALER *Start shotting with his gun* COME!
~ Back inside ~
Sora: Crap...
Goofy: ...huk...
Donald: well...
Nemesis: ...
Samus: You know him?
Nemesis: ...Not realy...
Snake: Lets see...
Raiden: Snake! He'll kill you!
Tron, Megaman & Zero: That user is odder than the rest.
James: So what you're going to change you name to?
Leon 'Squall': ...Harry!
~ Elsewhere in Silent Hill, graveyard ~
Harry: *Came back from the dead* Hell no I'll let someone steal MY name! *Start walking to find Squall*

Its time to see Yen Sid...

~ Sorcerer's Loft, Inside the Tower, Twilight Town ~

Yen Sid: Have you found it yet?
Sora: We have been looking EVERYWHERE and did not told us what to look for!
Yen Sid: Well...Its a book call 'VGB'.
Sora: ...Everyone, we off again...Nemesis, what are you look at?
Nemesis: *Looking inside the book tital 'VGB'*...*drolling*
James: *Look over to see what Nemesis see...* OMFG, MY WIFE IS HAVE SEX WITH JILL VALENTINE [Nemesis: Instead of try to kill her, I sould have sex with her], YUNA [Paine&Rikku:O.o], CHERYL MASON [Harry Mason: WHAT!?!], EVA [Soild Snake: Mommy?], TIFA [Cloud is about to kill Tifa], ASHEY [Leon K has gone nuts], SEPHIROTH'S MOM [Sephiroth: I had it!*gone of to kill his mother and leave her dead*], SAMUS [Samus: WHERE OR WHEN DID YEN SID GOT THAT FROM???], KAIRI...
Sora: WHAT??????*turn to Yen Sid* YOU ARE SO DEAD YEN SID! *Sora change to Final Form*
Yen Sid: HELP ME!!!!!!! *Everyone attack Yen Sid*

[Xam'x]

Sora: *KH2 keyhole lock thing*
Donald: Sora, MUST you flip around like that EVERY TIME you lock a keyhole?
Sora: Well, EXCUSE ME, oh pantless one!
Goofy: *cowers in the corner*

[arcanedude34]

Goody: So where we going now? A-hyuk.
Donald: *indecipherable chatter*
Goofy: ..huh? A-hyuk.
Sora: Thats right Donald, we're going to Disney Castle!
*At DC*
Queen Minnie: Theres a terrible inter dimensional portal in the basement. We need you to travel through this incredibly dangerous and unstable piece of crap and save the world.
Sora:
Goofy: ....a-hyuk.....
Donald: *Wets himself*
*Timeless River*
Goofy: We're just like we were fourteen years ago! A-huk
Donald: Wak! Where'd Sora go?
Donald and Goofy: *look around like idiots*
Goofy: I see him! A-hyuk
Sora: *is an infant*
Donald and Goofy: :sweatdrop

[Dragonface]

~ In TWTMW ~
*Xemnas' back from his hoildays*
Xemnas: I'M BACK!
*A red-haired girl shows up*
RHG: HEY EVERYNOONE, MANSEX BACK! SHE'S BACK!
Xemnas: WTF ARE YOU?
RHG: You know, Axel.
Xemnas: ...YOU'RE NOT AXEL!
~ In TWTNW(diffent one) ~
Axel: WHERES MANSEX?!?
Xemnas(Female): I'M AM!
Saïx: WHERES THE GREAT ONE?!?
Xemnas(Female): I'M AM!
Demyx: WHERES OUR BOSS?!?
Xemnas(Female): I'M AM! *look at Luxord* HELP ME LARXENE!
Luxord: I'm Luxord...SHE'S Larxene...*Point to Larxene*
Larxene:*look at Xemnas(F)*
*Roxas apear*
Roxas: WOW! XEMNAS HAS CHANGE SEX!!!!!!
Xemnas(Female): ...help...

[Aerisfanatic]

beast:will you sleep with me?

belle:uhh no sure you have your points but i think that will go under beastyallity, besides even told me your real name

[Griff]

beast:will you sleep with me?

belle:uhh no sure you have your points but i think that will go under beastyallity, besides even told me your real name

Beast: Fine, My real name is Harry Cook.

Belle: Did you just say hairy co-

Beast: I said Cook!