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Thread: Rules for Writers

  1. #1
    Posts Occur in Real Time edczxcvbnm's Avatar
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    Default Rules for Writers

    Rules for Writers

    1. Verbs HAS to agree with their subjects.
    2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
    3. And don’t start a sentence with a conjunction.
    4. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
    5. Avoid clichés like the plague. (They’re old hat)
    6. Also, always avoid annoying alliteration.
    7. Be more or less specific.
    8. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually) unnecessary.
    9. Also too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies.
    10. No sentence fragments.
    11. Contractions aren’t necessary and shouldn’t be used.
    12. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
    13. Do not be redundant; do not use more words than necessary; it’s highly superfluous.
    14. One should NEVER generalize.
    15. Comparisons are as bad as clichés.
    16. Don’t use no double negatives.
    17. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
    18. One-word sentences? Eliminate.
    19. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
    20. The passive voice is to be ignored.
    21. Eliminate commas, that are, not necessary. Parenthetical words however should be enclosed in commas.
    22. Never use a big word when a diminutive one would suffice.
    23. Kill all exclamation points!!
    24. Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.
    25. Understatement is always the absolute best way to put forth earth shaking ideas.
    26. Use the apostrophe in it’s proper place and omit its when its not needed.
    27. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “I hate quotations. Tell me what you know.”
    28. If you’ve heard it once, you’ve heard it a thousand times: Resist hyperbole; not on writer in a million can use it correctly.
    29. Puns are for children, not groan readers.
    30. Go around the bard at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
    31. Even IF a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
    32. Who needs rhetorical questions?
    33. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.

    And finally…

    34. Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.

  2. #2
    it's not fun, don't do it Moon Rabbits's Avatar
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    The best rule is :

    One word sentences? Eliminate.
    Bwhahaha. You get an emo heart! <3!

  3. #3
    Banished Ace Recognized Member Agent Proto's Avatar
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    I'm going to proofread my writing from now on so I can correct any words out.

    Apparently, I have been declared banished.

  4. #4
    Mold Anus Old Manus's Avatar
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    *moves to writer's forum where nobody will see it*


    there was a picture here

  5. #5
    (。◕‿‿◕。) Recognized Member Jojee's Avatar
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    • Former Cid's Knight

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    I love this XD


    Wat
    is
    going
    on
    wtf
    rawr

  6. #6
    Shlup's Retired Pimp Recognized Member Raistlin's Avatar
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    I saw this like 6 years ago. You people suck.

  7. #7
    (。◕‿‿◕。) Recognized Member Jojee's Avatar
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    Not everyone's as old or old-skool as you, Wezly!


    Wat
    is
    going
    on
    wtf
    rawr

  8. #8
    Newbie Administrator Loony BoB's Avatar
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    FFXIV Character

    Loony Bob (Twintania)

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    I was smart enough to get all but 2 of the thirty-four jokes listed, but I can't help but think they missed out on an opporunity to point out when you should write out numerals and when you should write out the full words when dealing with numbers.
    Bow before the mighty Javoo!

  9. #9
    it's not fun, don't do it Moon Rabbits's Avatar
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    Thirty five. Do not write out numbers when writing a list.

  10. #10

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    *points* It's the rules for my other forum!


    Cant run away from love if you cannot feel
    Everything falls apart in a tragedy-Lyrics By Cold


    http://z9.invisionfree.com/Corner_Of_Insanity/index.php

    (Since I was an idiot and posted it) My Forum.

  11. #11
    sly gypsy Recognized Member Levian's Avatar
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    I write whatever I want. You have problem?


  12. #12
    ..a Russian mountain cat. Yamaneko's Avatar
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    Yes, yes I do have "a" problem. smurfing n00b.

  13. #13
    sly gypsy Recognized Member Levian's Avatar
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    You'd think Vivi would know his wife/husband better than that.


  14. #14
    ..a Russian mountain cat. Yamaneko's Avatar
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    I don't think it ever got married.

  15. #15
    absolutely haram Recognized Member Madame Adequate's Avatar
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    Is fantastic!

    Edit: But I'm sure there was a chance to abuse the use of semi-colons there.

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