Critique this sig in progress.

[ShunNakamura]

Well someone else finished the request before I did so I'll just put it on the backburner for now and work on my next project.



Decided to take a break with playing with landscapes.

Edit did a different take of it utilizing the same base background I made.

[Polaris]

The pics are great but watch out the faces and contrast

[ShunNakamura]

As for that previous one. This is what I got after doing some cleaning. Forgot to clean up the girl's arms though.

[ShunNakamura]

So far so... meh. I redrew parts of the render so feel free to point out any issues there.

[Polaris]

Hm I think that those effects instead of being in the borders it should be focus on the middle. Also text looks kinda choppy, look for a better font, those calligraphy ones! They give a real effect to it

[ShunNakamura]

The text was hand drawn and it was clear but it drew my attention into the focus better when it was choppier(plus it now looks more like writing in my dreams looks... writing is never clear in my dreams :/). Anyways I can manually touch it up if need be. My desired focal was the text, did it work?


As for the effect. The Effect IS the border. It is one of those 'dreamy' picture frame borders. I enclosed the signature on it(I can change it so it penetrates deeper in). I was going to try drawing them manually.. .but man do I suck at drawing wispy things in photoshop. I can undress Saber, but can I make a wispy cloud thing? Of course not.

[ShunNakamura]

Got my second animation that I have ever done(ok, I think I copied the snow effect once.. but that was literally copied from one to the other) ... this one is signficantly more complex than the first one. Anyways I posted up a very base concept elswhere and was told that the plain blue sky background was a bit plain(plus the only reason I went with it is because the images I was animating had that as part of the bg) and that the animation was a bit quick and jerky.

After touching it up I got this.


Massive indeed. But I slowed down the animation a bit and added some extra frames to try and make it smoother. Plus, I reordered it to try and smooth it out. However, I think I failed my cuts in some areas :/. Maybe I should just scrap the small resolution images I am using and take some screencaps from the game :/. But I don't know if I could find a wide enough variety of facial expressions in time, however, i would love to add this smile.

Anyways I think I may need to redo the composition. The 'opening' in the buildings should probably be behind Rin to make her the focal.. or does the animation suffice in that regards alone? Plus I ain't sure I am happy with the left most building.


Edit- Elsewhere I was told I needed more frames inbetween the steps and needed to set the between steps as no delay instead of what I had it at :/.

As I feared the size increased greatly

[Polaris]

I like the animation, not sure about the subtext "the tsundere queen" kinda hard to read

[ShunNakamura]

Good point on the text. I hadn't caught that and nobody had to yet point it out to me. Anyways I changed the sub-text and I altered the username text to something that I think looks a bit better. I really need a good place to put the username(will enter it into a SoTW and I need the username on it, but I can't seem to find something I 'really' like :/).



Edit- And her it is super optimized to about 1/4 of the size.

[ShunNakamura]

Cleaned up the white bits and worked a lot on optimization. Choosing your own color table from scratch can really do wonders.

here it is at 1/4 size with decent quality! It is even smaller than the low quality one in the previous post!

[ShunNakamura]

And here I go with another new one. It is still in the concept stage. No border. The text will almost for sure change in at least some fashion, etc.



Tell me if the focal is Dawn/Piplup, because they are NOT supposed to be the focal. In fact I can't enter it into a SotW if that is the case.

And this was the original image I used for the scenery.

[ShunNakamura]

I do not know if any of you recall this one I made quite a while ago or not. However, I recently decided to redo it.

The result was this

Since I wanted to submit it to a SotW I ended up rushing it(sadly the day I was planning to do the border/text turned out to be not so free at all, was actually rather busy). Thus, the border text are a bit iffy in my opinion. Any suggestions, particularly on text would be welcome.

Anyways, even with it rushed it is CLEARLY better than the original attempt.

[Polaris]

omg that kitty looks sooo cute <3

[ShunNakamura]

Indeed, evil cats are cute .



Being in the concept stage I haven't really played with lighting or blending of most objects yet, nor have I done much border wise(other than the curtains which are part of the concept). I was mostly getting everything placed and sized how I wanted it.

Oh and these were the original stocks used for the BG/FG
Curtians
Background

Edit- And the main render was

Edit in Edit - Fixed another mistake in the render
From this image

Edit2- A somewhat poor attempt at lighting

[Polaris]

I think this one is your best so far. Really clean and with great depth