ah, to heck with the text file, these are my original results

Santa Claus
North Pole, Earth


Dear Santa,

I have been a good boy.
It really wasn't my fault what happened at Zannith's Office party. It was Elizabeth who spiked the punch with too much pepsi blue. I can't help it if I drank 97 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like fart.

I thought it was funny when I put Brianna's jacket on my head and danced the drunken dance on the table while singing `For Whom The Bell Tolls'. I didn't mean to break Zannith's Wii and don't know why Zannith would accuse me of murder.

I don't remember calling Steve's wife a rancid cow---even though she looked like one with blue eye shadow and silver lipstick!

And when I threw up on Kris's husband's face, it was only because I ate too much of that muffin.

After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my combine harvester through my neighbor's decrepit toilet. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a burning wolf and have me arrested for rape!

So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all impertinent and arrogant. And I'm really not to blame for any of this lame stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!

Sincerely and idiotically yours,
Reine (Really a nice boy!)

P.S. It's only 51875017551561 bucks!