Quote Originally Posted by SummonerCloud
theundead,that may be true you were werious...but when am i gonna get chimneys thrown at me?
You fail on one of the most fundamental basics of becoming a ninja - you must be prepared for anything. You must be like the SAS to the power of Mossad in terms of what you are ready for. Having chimneys (Or indeed any other pieces of architecture) thrown at you is par for the course. The primary tactic to being a ninja is preperation. You can call yourself a ninja only when you can dodge a dozen chimneys, cornices, or indeed entire triumphal arches being hurled at you.

Things to aim for:

- Dress in black, with a scarf to cover your face. You're not a superhero, but your identity is your most important asset.
- Become a master of concealment, use the darkness and shadow for they are your elements.
- Pursue a victim until the assassination is carried out, no matter how long it takes.
- As a ninja, you can go for days without sleeping or eating. Use this to your advantage.
- Attack when people least expect it. Good examples would be while they are in the bath, while they are sleeping, and while they are cheesy toasties.
- You will, of course, become an expert in using all forms of ancient Japanese weapons.
- You will also become supreme in the use of unarmed combat, and will know twenty ways to kill a man using just your ears.

Things to avoid:

- Being afraid of the dark. It just won't work out.
- Being afraid of blood. No dice here either.
- You don't have to be sporting and not attack people while they're asleep.
- DO NOT listen to reason. Ever.
- If you're afraid of heights, it's not as crippling as blood or darkness, but it's a bit of a blow to your image nonetheless. Who fears a ninja that uses the elevator?
- If you crave pizza and announce your presence with "Cowabunga!" you're getting some of the fundamentals wrong.
- If your uniform incorporates a lot of colored lights and regular music, I recommend you assassinate the designer. (Assuming you can get close to him)
- Never, ever eat baked beans. Ever.

Now, a particularly wily enemy will try to tempt you out of hiding if he suspects you are nearby. No matter how much it hurts your honor, you must remain in the shadows. Some of the more common lines you would do well to desensitize yourself to are as follows.

"Hands up all those who'd like to build a Death Railway!"
"Quick, a dolphin! Kill it!"
"Hiroshima. What a laugh, eh?"
"Ninjas sleep with the bedroom light on."
"Koi carp? What an ugly fish!"
"Hirohito wore woman's clothing."
"More trade tariffs, eh? Scared of a little foreign competition, are we?"

[I adapted the above from the seminal "How To Be A Superhero" by Mark Leigh and Mark Lepine.]