"It’s kind of like buying your grandfather a 'number one child molester' shirt as a gag and then seeing him wear it with pride a few weeks later."
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"Astos is a redneck. He lives hundreds of miles away from civilization and likes RUBbing people who give him jewelry."
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"Such promises! Knowledge, justice, progress. What value hold these without conflict? What is a life devoid of strife?"

"PEACEFUL? And that's not so bad in my book."

"I didn't know you could read."
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"...so I tore off my clothes and saw I was harder than trigonometry."