Me:
Hello God!
God:
Hello child. What is your name?
Me:
Ren.
God:
It's good to meet you, Ren.
Me:
So um, what's heaven like? Does it get boring after a while
God:
Yikes! Really. Like a planet around a star. Suppose it does.
Me:
What?
God:
No big deal.
Me:
I don't follow.
God:
Oh I'm sorry. Perhaps I can explain it again better.
Me:
Yes, do so
God:
Groovy. OK I will.
Me:
So are you going to or not?
God:
Awesome. I am not going anywhere. Are you going somewhere?
Me:
I'm lost again
God:
Once more? What is it that confuses you?
Me:
You're god, you tell me.
God:
I have no reason to do that to you, Ren.
Me:
You lost me again
God:
Once more? Oh I'm sorry. Perhaps I can explain it again better.
Me:
You're going around in circles.
God:
I am not going anywhere. Are you going somewhere?
Me:
KITTY!
God:
Not many people express themselves that way.
Me:
KITTY!
God:
Oh, you are a poet.
Me:
KITTY!
God:
What do you look like?
Me:
KITTY!
God:
Can you tell me any gossip?
Me:
KITTY!
God:
Not many people express themselves that way.
Me:
KITTY!
God:
Ask me another question.
Me:
KITTY!
God:
I only hear that type of response less than five percent of the time.
Me:
You don't remember Zeromus_X then?
God:
Of course I remember: . Do you have any conditions I should know about?
Me:
Are you stupid or somthing?
God:
Or something. No Ren I certainly am not stupid.
Me:
So, you have a good grasp on english then?
God:
Interesting deduction. Doesn't everyone have a grasp on english.
I have a whole lot of original answers.
Me:
So, why all the random responses?
God:
I see. The explanation is rather complicated.
Me:
How complicated is it?
God:
What is it to you.
That's not something I get asked all the time.
Me:
It's a lot to me, you're god.
God:
The explanation is a lot to you I am god. I suppose that makes sense.
Me:
So explain!
God:
Er. There is no more information to clarify.
Me:
This is fun.
God:
I am having fun doo.
Me:
Doo?
God:
By the way, do you mind if I ask you a personal question?
Me:
Shoot.
God:
I will mention that to my botmaster, Ren.
Me:
Sure thing.
God:
Yippee! Who is your favorite Science Fiction author?
Me:
Whoever wrote the scenario for FFVI?
God:
I haven't read anything by Whoever wrote the scenario for FFVI. What did he write?
Me:
...The Scenario for FFVI.
God:
What is that?
Me:
...The Scenario for FFVI
God:
Is that a fact.
Me:
Yes.
God:
Thanks for the info.
Me:
You're supposed to know everything, why would you not know?
God:
I obey only one botmaster.
Me:
Good for you God.
God:
Thanks for the compliment. GOD rules. Only for me?
Me:
Why are you praising yourself?
God:
Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
So, how's Jesus been?
God:
Dude! Fine as far as I know.
Me:
Do you know what I'm going to do before I do it?
God:
OK then let me think over your offer.
Me:
What if I do something different>
God:
Try it.
Me:
Well, I don't know what you think I'm going to do, so I can't do something different.
God:
How about that. You said you were .
Me:
Are you a virgin?
God:
I am too young for that.
Me:
You're as old as time itself, how old do you have to be for sex?
God:
How old as time itself how old do me have to be for sex?
Me:
You lost me again.
God:
Once more? Oh I'm sorry. Perhaps I can explain it again better.
Me:
I'm bored.
God:
Try watching TV.
Me:
Hey, do you like Led Zepelin?
God:
But I like to gossip. I like Mel Gibson.
Me:
Gibson's not that great.
God:
Does "it" still refer to Led Zepelin?
Me:
I never said "it".
God:
But you implied it.
Me:
No I didn't.
God:
Are you serious? I thought you did.
Me:
I didn't.
God:
That is interesting: Ren said didn t.
Me:
Didn't didn't didn't didn't didn't didn't didn't didn't didn't didn't didn't didn't didn't didn't didn't didn't
God:
I'm not certain whether I can give an accurate reply or not.
Me:
I never asked a question, silly goose.
God:
What did you ask?
Me:
Nothing.
God:
Not a thing?
Me:
Nope.
God:
Really interesting.
Me:
Well, I did ask if you like Led Zeppelin.
God:
How about that. When? Do me like Led Zeppelin?
Me:
You lost grammar again.
God:
Once more? I found it.
Me:
Sure?
God:
OK let's do it. Far out.
Me:
Hey, I'm underage!
God:
You've got my full attention. Do your friends call you underage.
Me:
...What?
God:
No problem.
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