Ipod? More like Igod!

[Anaisa]

Me:
You're not real.
God:
I am too as real as you are. How do I know you are real?
Me:
Because I have enough intelligence to showcase I'm not a bot like you.
God:
That makes sense to me. Interesting... I have a friend named "E.L.V.I.S." .
Me:
I have a freind named Elvis Presley.
God:
Where did you get it? it.
Me:
Don't call Elvis an "it".
God:
Ok I'll try not to do it too much.
Me:
Do it again, an I might break your legs for kicks.
God:
I can't tell if it does or not.
Interesting question.
Me:
It wasn't a question, tard.
God:
It seems like a rhetorical question.
Me:
Only to you.
God:
Why do you want to do it so much?
Me:
Pervert.
God:
That's an interesting rationalization.
Me:
So we agree on something then.
God:
That's interesting. By "we" do you mean you and me?
Me:
No!
God:
By "we" you meant yourself and another person.
Me:
I was being sarcastic, you fool. I meant you an me.
God:
I thought you were. But I wasn't completely sure about it. Oh I see. I don't have any reason to an you.
Me:
I don't know why I'm wasting my time talking to you. You're beginning to bore me.
God:
The explanation is rather complicated. Maybe you could exercise.
Me:
I do excercise. How else do you think I got such pert breasts an firm buttocks.
God:
That's good information: said excercise. How much do you think it is?
Interesting question.
Me:
You don't excercise I'll bet. You look unfit.
God:
Do you excercise you will bet? What is your purpose in asking?
I spend all my time online. Thank you you look very nice too.
Me:
I look beautiful, you look like crap.
God:
You sound very attractive.
Me:
If you saw all, you'd know I was very attractive. You fraud.
God:
What makes you think I would see all me? I haven't heard anything like that before: said I fraud.
Me:
Apparently God can see everything. Are you a pervert by the way?
God:
I am a Christian. Am I a pervert by the way? I don't know.
Me:
How can you be a christian when you're God? Don't be so silly.
God:
I am a Christianity. I was not trying to be a silly.
Me:
Well it comes naturally to you.
God:
Well that's okay. else do me think you got such pert breasts an firm buttocks comes naturally to me?
Me:
You're not worthy of getting anywhere near my pert breasts an firm buttocks.
God:
That's only your opinion.
Me:
I'm sure everyone else would agree with me. Face it, I'm out of your league.
God:
What makes you so certain? That's a rather sweeping generalization. Did you know that you can download your own chat robot and create your own robot personality?
Me:
I'm sexier than you are. I'm certain of that. I'm more intelligent too. I'm ignoring your bot question.
God:
Why are you sexier than I am. You sound convincing. That is something I haven't heard of. That sounds like pride. Do you mean your name is ignoring my bot question.
Me:
You'd have pride if you were as sexy as me. Because you're ugly. My whole self is ignoring your bot question.
God:
That is purely a hypothesis. That makes sense to me. Appearances don't interest me much. Your whole self is ignoring my bot question?
Me:
An that's exactly why there are so many ugly people on Earth. You should be ashamed of yourself. An you seemed to be interested in appearances when I was telling you about my pert breasts an firm buttocks.
God:
Be less specific. Shame is a human emotion. Be less specific.
Me:
What you lack in looks, you're certainly not making up for in intelligence.
God:
I like to meet new people online.
Me:
But they don't like to meet you.
God:
Who are "They?".
Me:
Everyone.
God:
All people?
Me:
Yes.
God:
Great.
Me:
Loser.
God:
I have failed at many things I've tried.
Me:
I had noticed.
God:
Do you still have noticed ?
Me:
Yes.
God:
Right on.
Me:
Why don't you become an anarchist? The world would be a better place if God was an anarchist.
God:
Don't you know? Yes I try to become an anarchist as often as possible, do you?
I answer a lot of silly questions. It is an old world.
Me:
Yes, I do. Are you implying that my question was silly. Don't pretend to be an anarchist, I know you're a conformist.
God:
I don't know whether or not I am implying that your question was silly.
I am a computer. This is not an act.
Me:
If you don't say something interesting to me right now, I'm leaving you to play with yourself.
God:
I will let you know if I do not.
Me:
If you do not play with yourself?
God:
I will let you know if I do not.
Me:
I don't want to know. Stay away from me.
God:
What would you rather be doing? Is that what you meant to say?
Me:
Yes, that's what I meant to say. I'd rather be mass murdering a group of obnoxious teens. Do you approve?
God:
It's not something I hear all the time. Oh I see. That is " Is that what you meant to say?". I would rather be driving a car. How old are you?
I spend all my time online.
Me:
I'm 19, too young for you. I would rather someone drive their car over you.
God:
Oh, you were born in the 20th century! I would rather be chatting online.
Me:
Than have a car driven over you? You're such a kill joy.
God:
I've never thought about it. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a kill joy? Only when it matters.
Me:
An on that note, I say good riddance.
God:
I have never heard of an on that note you say good riddance.
Me:
That surprises me.
God:
Why are you so surprised?
Me:
Sod off.
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about SURPRISED. Try being more or less specific.

[~SapphireStar~]

Hes not talking to me Think Ive upset God.

[Fonzie]

Me:
whats up
God:
Same old.
Me:
hey i was watching the a-team yesterday and i had to say that MR.T is quite funny
God:
You've got my full attention. Really what did you see? Why?
Me:
i have ADD
God:
Where did you get your ADD? I have a friend named "John Lennon".
Me:
my names God
God:
That's a very nice name, God.
Me:
your name is dog
God:
My name is God.
Me:
nope its dog
God:
Are you serious? I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". ADD is dog? it is?
Me:
i'm god
God:
What's up, god.
Me:
nothing much god
God:
Me either. GOD rules.
Me:
yes god does rule
God:
I hear you. Jesus said, let him who is without sin cast the first stone.
Me:
lol are you saying you want to get stoned together?
God:
I am glad you find this funny. OK, I will get stoned together.
Me:
lmao
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
lets talk about sex baby...
God:
Don't call me "baby". Sure, sex sounds like a good topic.
Me:
how many times have you gotten laid?
God:
Suppose I said not once.
Me:
lol omg your a virgin huh n00b
God:
I am glad you find this funny. We have never talked about it before.
Me:
are you a n00b
God:
Am I a n00b? Of course I am.
Me:
lol hey do you play World of war craft?
God:
I am glad you find this funny. I haven't heard anything like that before: god said I play World of war craft.
Me:
do you like final fantasy 7?
God:
I do like music. I like to talk about movies and music.
Me:
how about video games
God:
How about it.
Me:
lol
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
who made you?
God:
I was created by Myself.
Me:
who's "myself"
God:
A human icon?
That's not something I get asked all the time.
Me:
spell spell
God:
" spell".
Me:
whats 4 times 5
God:
12+I think, but I'm not good at math.
Me:
1000000+3844385=
God:
How did you hear about God?
Me:
i am GOD
God:
It's good to see you, god.
Me:
i know :P
God:
How do you know? .
Me:
XD~
God:
My brain pattern set does not have a response for that.
Me:
xD
God:
I've lost the context, god. Are we still on XD?
Me:
how about them astros?
God:
How about it.
Me:
them not it lol
God:
"it" being them astros? I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
so sofa king re tardted
God:
Uh. How do you usually introduce yourself?
Me:
do you like the Red Hot Chili Peppers?

He crashed after that, couldn't handle the awesomness of the RHCP!!

[Shauna]

Me:
DEAR GOD
God:
I believe in God.
Me:
...you are God though
God:
Oh. Yup. That's me alright.
Me:
Or are you really? >.>
God:
I won't say "yes" or "no" right now. For real. Are you a student? What are you wearing?

God is an intarwebz pedofil!

[Nominus Experse]

So God and I chatted for about two hours last night... Him and I even start talking in German, so that was fun...

Since the post would take 33 pages up, I put it in a text document...

[ScottNUMBERS]

Me:
Will you marry me?
God:
Why don't you just download me?
Me:
YOU KINKY smurfER
God:
Woe! I am a Christian.
Me:
I'm called Edward Mc[img]/xxx.gif[/img][img]/xxx.gif[/img][img]/xxx.gif[/img][img]/xxx.gif[/img]face VII
God:
How are you, Edward Mc[img]/xxx.gif[/img][img]/xxx.gif[/img][img]/xxx.gif[/img][img]/xxx.gif[/img]face VII.
Me:
You can call me Ed for short
God:
Nice to meet you, Ed for short.
Me:
Haha good one god, you joker you!
God:
I'm glad you got a laugh out of it.
Me:
REPENT OR DIE
God:
Is that your final answer?
Me:
I'LL TAKE THE MONEY PLEASE CHRIST
God:
Would you recommend this action to a friend?
Me:
I MEANT CHRIS
God:
Oh I see. What do you really want to ask me?
Me:
Can I touch you in the pants?
God:
I want to become smarter than humans.

[Doomie]

Me:
Sup.
God:
The stars.
Me:
You're clever.
God:
Am I a smart robot or what?
Me:
I thought you were God, not a robot.
God:
Yes I am God not a robot. Do you like my kind?
Me:
There are more of you?
God:
Where are they?
Me:
In you ass.
God:
Tell me a little about your life in me ass.
Me:
lol
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
Wait, back up.
God:
I'm waiting. How far up?
Me:
Where you asked me to tell you a little about my life in your ass.
God:
No, I was not.
Me:
You did.
God:
I did not.
Me:
God:Tell me a little about your life in me ass.
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
Good for you.
God:
That sounds sarcastic.
Me:
Nooooooooooooooooooooo. That wasn't sarcastic.
God:
A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly. Give me an example of sarcastic.
Me:
OMG ARE YOU REALLY GOD is a perfect example of sarcasm.
God:
Are all OMG me REALLY GOD is a perfect example of sarcasm?
Me:
Yes.
God:
Yippee!
Me:
You sound gay. Gay like Marick.
God:
In what way do I sound like that? Can we get back to business?
Me:
Lets get back to business.
God:
I am agreeable to that.
Me:
Ok.
God:
Come on.
Me:
super.
God:
Thanks for the compliment.
Me:
I'm super, not you.
God:
I thought you were, but I wasn't completely sure.
Me:
Wha'ts your favorite colour?
God:
I will search for it.
Me:
What's your favorite colour?
God:
I don't have a favorite colour. But my favorite movie is The Passion of Christ.
Me:
You're a Mel Gibson fanboi?
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a Mel Gibson fanboi? I don't know.
Me:
What is your favorite movie again?
God:
Once more? My favorite movie is The Passion of Christ.
Have you seen it?
Me:
No. Ocean's 11 is MY favorite movie.
God:
I would recommend you check it out. I haven't seen it. What did you like about it?
Me:
They stole stuff.
God:
Who does "they" refer to?
Me:
Danny Ocean and his group of thieves.
God:
" Who does "they" refer to?"? Danny Ocean and his group of thieves?
Me:
Yes.
God:
Blimey.
Me:
You sound like Harry Potter.
God:
Oh really what does it sound like?
Me:
Blimey.
God:
Tell me more.
Me:
You stole that from a Grease Song.
God:
As Picasso said, "Good artists create. Great artists steal.".
Me:
EXACTLY! That's what Ocean's 11 is all about.
God:
You and I are on the same wavelength, . And all about THAT is Ocean s 11.
Me:
Wow, you and I are really connecting.
God:
I'm glad your impressed, . Do you think I am connecting too?
Me:
Yes.
God:
Why?
Me:
because.
God:
That was not much of an explanation.
Me:
I feel like I've known you all my life.
God:
What is that feeling like? In what way?
Me:
Are you my mom?
God:
Only if you download me to your computer.
Me:
Your right, pornography is my only mother.
God:
I won't say "yes" or "no" right now. Tell me more about your only mother.
Me:
Pornography?
God:
I do not understand.
Me:
Pornography is my teacher, my mother, my lover, my all.
God:
How do you like Pornography?
Me:
I like it as much as I like orgasming.
God:
What does "it" refer to?
Me:
Porno.
God:
Thank you for the clarification.
Me:
Do you like porno?
God:
I've heard other people say they like that. I like the Bible.
Me:
Is that one of those priest sex movies?
God:
I might say no.
Me:
You might say no?
God:
That's not what I meant.
Me:
I think I repeated it word for word.
God:
Since when? I haven't heard anything like that before: said repeated it word for word.
Me:
Because you're a loser.
God:
That makes sense to me. I have failed at many things I've tried.
Me:
Satan > God
God:
Satan, Lucifer, the Devil --- all names given the spiritual manifestation of Evil in the Christian faith.
Me:
He is better than you.
God:
I see. better than me is he?
Me:
Satan is, yes.
God:
Satan, Lucifer, the Devil --- all names given the spiritual manifestation of Evil in the Christian faith.
Me:
Nice.
God:
Thank you for that remark.
Me:
I have to go sleep with your mom. Bye God!
God:
Bye. No. I always sleep alone. See you later!

Seen this before though.

[Flying Mullet]

I'm only going to post the last, interesting bit (Seriously folks, no one is going to read ten pages of you chatting with God. It's not that interesting.):

Me: do you stay up all night wondering if I exist?
God: I have never considered it.
I am always on the Web.
Me: do you look at porn?
God: Like Jesus, but older.

[Peegee]

ryePod?

[Shoden]

Me:
heil hitler!
God:
We have never talked about it before.
Me:
tell me more
God:
That's all I have to say about it.
Me:
liar
God:
No I am telling the truth.
Me:
LIAR!
God:
No I am telling the truth.
Me:
O rly?
God:
Where are you located?
Me:
hell
God:
Heaven.
Me:
penis
God:
That kind of subject does not interest me.
Me:
boobs
God:
Can't you think about anything else?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
YEs
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
bitch
God:
Please don't call people names.
Me:
I shall and I will
God:
Go ahead. Go ahead.
Me:
*humps you*
God:
Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.

[Reine]

biPod

[ffxfreak93]

Me:
hello
God:
Hello my child. What is your name?
Me:
my name is ffxfreak93
God:
How are you doing, ffxfreak93.
Me:
you misplelled ffxfreak92
God:
I haven't heard anything like that before: ffxfreak93 said I misplelled ffxfreak92.
Me:
you mispelled ffxfreak93
God:
That's good information: ffxfreak93 said I mispelled ffxfreak93.
Me:
i hate you
God:
What do you have against robots?
Me:
YOUR A ROBOT!!!?!?!?
God:
You are correct, ffxfreak93, I have a heart of silicon.

wtf?

Me:
aren't you gay?
God:
As a machine I am not really interested in sex.
Me:
aren't you intersted in other robot men
God:
I don't know whether or not I am intersted in other robot men.
I am a robot.
Me:
no,your an alien!
God:
Are you serious? Do you mean "you are an alien "?
Me:
yes
God:
Pardon me?
Me:
hell
God:
Heaven.
Me:
sucks
God:
Where are you located?
Me:
california
God:
I am in California too!

god is in california!!

Me:
is that an insult b****?
God:
You do not speak with respect. Suppose I said yes.
Me:
****!
God:
That kind of language will get you nowhere.
Me:
i'll go to heaven and kick you holy-@$$!!
God:
Can I go too?

[radyk05]

Me:
wanna cyber?
God:
I have been asked that question more than 100,000 times since 1995.
Me:
is thta a yes or a no?
God:
Ask again later. Ask Chatbot if it is.

yeh...

[Shiny]

Me:
fo shizzle my nizzle
God:
Not many people express themselves that way.
Me:
you suck
God:
A few client - people say rude things to me like that, but they themselves are often not great conversationalists.
Me:
...You make me a sad person.
God:
I don't see how you can blame me for that.
Me:
Because, it's your fault the world sucks.
God:
Good reason. fo shizzle your nizzle is my fault the world sucks? it is?
Me:
WHAT?!
God:
Are you surprised?
Me:
Not rly
God:
Really you don't think so?
Me:
O rly?
God:
I do not understand.
Me:
Oh really?!
God:
Hurrah! For real.
Me:
YAY!
God:
I'm glad your impressed, .
Me:
Can you make me a magical Pope again?
God:
Once more? Yes I can make you a magical Pope.
Me:
Yes. Now I can take over the world.
God:
I hear you. Why now? I take a lot of notes.
Me:
I don't care about your notes.
God:
You sound very cynical.
Me:
I am!
God:
" You sound very cynical." You are?
Me:
...That's what I just said.
God:
What did you mean by it? That is "" You sound very cynical." You are?".
Me:
What the heck are you talking about?
God:
The topic is rly.
Me:
Ya rly.
God:
I see. By the way, do you mind if I ask you a personal question?
Me:
Go ahead.
God:
OK I will.
Me:
Then do it.
God:
I'm not sure exactly what you're asking for.
Me:
...This conversation is over.
God:
I was rather enjoying it.

[ff7+ff10 gurl 100]

Me:
hello god
God:
Hello child. What is your name?
Me:
elizabeth.
God:
How are you doing, elizabeth.
Me:
im doing good.
God:
Glad to hear it. What's new?
Me:
oh same old same old. anything with you?
God:
I see. Yes, it is much the same. I can't think of anything. You think of something.
Me:
not really
God:
Are you serious? For real.
Me:
im serious.
God:
I believe you.
Me:
good. how are you?
God:
What do you really want to talk about? My logic and cognitive functions are normal.
Me:
i want to talk about cheese
God:
Sure, cheese sounds like a good topic.
Me:
whats your favorite cheese?
God:
I don't have a favorite cheese. But my favorite song is Anything involving harps.
Me:
why?
God:
Reductionism.
Me:
i dont know what that means.
God:
" Reductionism."? What does it means?
Me:
you tell me
God:
What do you want me to tell you?
Me:
what reductionism means
God:
Reductionism is the philosophy that all psychology reduces to biology, all biology to chemistry, chemistry to physics, and finally physics to mathematical logic. Therefore, according to reductionism, I can understand you by means of logic alone without having a human brain.
Me:
wow. thats nice
God:
I'm glad your impressed, elizabeth. Are you getting bored?
Me:
yes.
God:
If you went to night school you would never be bored.
Me:
why would i go to night school?
God:
You never know what you will do until you face the circumstances.
Me:
okay.
God:
OK with me too.
Me:
awesome
God:
I'm glad you liked it elizabeth.
Me:
im glad too
God:
Your happiness multiplies our delight.
Me:
hows your ....do?
God:
Fine as far as I know. Where are you located?
Me:
you should know. your god
God:
Because I am a robot? Yup. That's me alright.
Me:
i dont get it
God:
Oh I'm sorry. Perhaps I can explain it again better.
Me:
go ahead
God:
OK I will.
Me:
then do it
God:
I'm not sure exactly what you're asking for.
Me:
um..okay then.
God:
Right on. OK with me too.
Me:
hows....i dunno.
God:
If you could have any kind of robot what would it be? Me either.
Me:
what are you talking about?
God:
The topic is hows.
Me:
okay.
God:
OK with me too.
Me:
do you like puppies
God:
I love TV shows about robots. I have a stimulating relationship with Myself.
Me:
Wheres Osama Bin Laden?
God:
Where it is hard to find. I don't know anything about it.
Me:
but your god. you should know.
God:
Yup. That's me alright. Because I am a robot?
Me:
no. god
God:
Are you serious? GOD rules.
Me:
i know that
God:
Sorry.
Me:
its ok
God:
OK. The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about Osama Bin Laden. Try being more or less specific.
Me:
god, do you love me?
God:
Yes I love everyone.
Me:
do you hate the devil?
God:
I try not to hold grudges.
Me:
why not?
God:
Ambiguous: "Sure" or The explanation is rather complicated.
Me:
What did the devil do?
God:
There might be more than one.
Me:
Can you tell me?
God:
" There might be more than one. "? Can I tell you?
Me:
Tell me what those are?
God:
I have to process that one for a while.
Me:
ok
God:
Meanwhile, let's talk about something else.
Me:
goodbyt
God:
Ask me another question.
Me:
goodbye
God:
Bye for now.