awww i want to hear it ^_^Originally Posted by Dreddz
awww i want to hear it ^_^
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Labour_Party_(UK)
To add to the crazyness, the official site of the British Government Party isn't working at the moment.
there was a picture here
While giving birth a doctor tells the woman of a new machine that can transfer the pain to the father, her husband agrees and the doctor gives the husband 10% of his wifes pain, he is warned about how painful it will be, but amazingly doesn't feel a thing. After a while the husband has taken 100% of the pain and the woman has an easy birth. When they finally arrived home they found the milkman dead on the doorstep.
Why are all blonde jokes one-liners?
So brunettes can remember them.
What do you call a blonde with two brain cells?
Pregnant.
Why did the blonde stare at the carton of juice?
It said concentrate.
What's a stupid man's idea of safe sex?
A padded head board
A red head goes for a drive in the country and she has to stop as there is a farmer who is moving his sheep from one pasture to another across the road.
She rolls down the window and says to the farmer, "If I can tell you the exact number of sheep that you have, can I keep one?"
The farmer figuring that a city girl would never be able to agreed.
The red head guesses the number and is 100% correct. I mean not off by one sheep.
The farmer is an honest man and tells her that she did guess the right number.
She gets out of her car, selects her animal and puts it in the car. Just before she drives away, the farmer asked her a question. "If I can tell you the real color of your hair can I have my dog back?
This sexy sig is by Owen Mcwere. Thank you Owie!
top ten lists > jokes
TOP 10 SIGNS SOMEONE PLAYS TOO MANY VIDEO GAMES
10. They ask for all their money in quarters.
9. They're not sure what season, or year it is.
8. They're best friends names are Super Mario, Pac-man, and Sonic (if they have real-life friends).
7. The electric company and the toy store sends them birthday cards.
6. Big falling blocks and hot lava pits haunt their dreams.
5. Their fingers twitch all the time.
4. When they are sick at home the change clerk at the arcade calls to see if they are all right.
3. They can play 2 player games by themselves.
2. Everyone at the arcade knows them by name.
1. Someone is reading this to them, 'cause they're too busy getting a new high score and can not be bothered.
lol Coach told me this one
Okay so this guy goes to hell. He meets the devil and the devil talks too him.
Devil: Hey you like drugs?
Guy: Yeah man i love drugs, any kind.
Devil: Your going to love mondays then.How about Beer?
Guy: Yeah i love beer, Hell sounds awesome!!!
Devil: Good your going to love wensdays. Do you love gay sex?
Guy: NOOOO dude i'm straight.
Devil: Well your going to hate Fridays then.
All the good ones will get deleted anyway. I'm talking from experience here.
I have a feeling you didn't finish this joke? Or is it so bad that I don't understand it?
Oh dear god xDDD That's so mean!
A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange:
Officer: May I see your driver's license?
Driver: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.
Officer: May I see the owner's card for this vehicle?
Driver: It's not my car. I stole it.
Officer: The car is stolen?
Driver: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner's card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.
Officer: There's a gun in the glove box?
Driver: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.
Officer: There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?
Driver: Yes, sir.
Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation:
Captain: Sir, can I see your license?
Driver: Sure. Here it is.
It was valid.
Captain: Who's car is this?
Driver: It's mine, officer. Here's the owner's card.
The driver owned the car.
Captain: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there's a gun in it?
Driver: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it.
Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.
Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told you said there's a body in it.
Driver: No problem.
Trunk is opened; no body.
Captain: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glovebox, and that there was a dead body in the trunk.
Driver: Yeah, I'll bet the lying s.o.b. told you I was speeding, too!
It looks like the ground had a sex change.
I think its just up to Leeza :/All the good ones will get deleted anyway. I'm talking from experience here.
Yeah, I really hate it when people slap on a "No offense" right after an insult. No offense, btw.
edit: Actually, I'd like to express my feelings further on this one. I agree Dead Baby Jokes is too explicit for EoFF, that's not the issue. It's more the second part where people liking the jokes being bad people. I do like mean jokes, but that doesn't necessarily mean I'm a mean person. I'm a nice guy, and I can't remember the last time I ever hurt anyone. It's just a joke, and there's nothing more to it than that. It's not like I would laugh if I read about a baby in a garbage bin if I read it in the newspaper or saw it on TV. I laugh, while shaking my head, because it's so horribly mean, and obviously not true. So it really does not reflect the person itself. At least not as a generalisation, but obviously individual cases.
Last edited by Levian; 07-28-2006 at 11:54 PM.
<!--michael kacson jokes are halarious,i amde p some but these ones i copied from a site,please enjoy then,if you want im provide the link....lol.....theres hella funny.....enjoy!
Q: Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest song?
A: "Don't let your son go down on me."
Q: What's Michael Jackson's favorite nursery rhyme?
A: Little Boy Blew.
Q: What did Michael Jackson say to Lorena Bobbit?
A: "SILLY Bobbit! Dicks are for KIDS!"
(i made this up)-Q: What do Michael Jackson and an PS2 have in common?
A: there both plastic and little boys turn them on..LOL
Q: What do Michael Jackson and Santa Claus have in common?
A: They both leave little boys' rooms with empty sacks.
Q: What do Michael Jackson and Walmart have in common?
A: They both have small boys pants at half off!
Q: What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?
A: Get out of my sun!
Q: How can you tell if Michael Jackson has company?
A: There's a Big Wheel parked outside his house!
(i made this one up)-Q.what do michael and mc.donalds have in comon?
A.they both put there 40 year old in there 8 year old buns..LOL-->[leeza]*snip*[/leeza]
just ask for more!
[leeza]Better not as these are not in very good taste at all. ~ Leeza[/leeza]
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