FF7 Jokes

[Dragon Mage]

Okay, I just thought that this would be a fun thread to make. As the title indicates, anyone with an FF7 joke can post it here. Jokes can come from the movie as well or any funny thing that happened in to you in your game. Baisically, if it's funny and related to FF7, post it here. Here are some of my own jokes as an example:

Q: You know why Cloud has been a fighter for most of his life?

A: Because with a name like 'cloud' in the third grade, you'd better know how to fight!


In the game booklet, it says that to truly become a master of this game you have to know how to use materia such as Mystify and Time, but that is not true. To become a master of this game you have to know how to use one materia in particular.
Mime

P.S. Please post only appropriate jokes please. Thank you.

[Aralith]

Q: What was Cloud's real response when Tifa asked him if he "wanted something hard" in the 7th Heaven bar at the beginning of the game?

A: "You give me something hard and I'll give you something hard."

[Dragon Mage]

All right, now no one take any offense (Aeris lovers) but this was pretty funny.

I was feeling grumpy that day when I was playing the game (for the 2nd time) and when I had the chance to name Aeris (who I don't really like all that much) I decided to just fool around in entered a word. I meant to delete it, because I just fought a boss and I don't want to go through it again just to rename her, but I accidentally hit select. After that Aeris said,

"Hello, I'm Bitch, the flower girl."

I laughed for hours.

Then I had to restart and kill the boss again. That made it less funny.

[Pure Aerisbeauty7]

All right, now no one take any offense (Aeris lovers) but this was pretty funny.

I was feeling grumpy that day when I was playing the game (for the 2nd time) and when I had the chance to name Aeris (who I don't really like all that much) I decided to just fool around in entered a word. I meant to delete it, because I just fought a boss and I don't want to go through it again just to rename her, but I accidentally hit select. After that Aeris said,

"Hello, I'm Bitch, the flower girl."

I laughed for hours.

Then I had to restart and kill the boss again. That made it less funny.

None taken.

[Twilight Edge]

A very common Reno joke......

Reno:What do you get when you cross an owl with a bungee cord?MY ASS.

[Dragon Mage]

Erm...that's good, but I've seen it before. Does anyone have any jokes/funny things/bloopers that they made up? (no offense Aralith)

[Helios]

A very common Reno joke......

Reno:What do you get when you cross an owl with a bungee cord?MY ASS.

thats Kung Pow.
"I too am a birdie" is another great line

[BizarroSephiroth]

All right, now no one take any offense (Aeris lovers) but this was pretty funny.

I was feeling grumpy that day when I was playing the game (for the 2nd time) and when I had the chance to name Aeris (who I don't really like all that much) I decided to just fool around in entered a word. I meant to delete it, because I just fought a boss and I don't want to go through it again just to rename her, but I accidentally hit select. After that Aeris said,

"Hello, I'm Bitch, the flower girl."

I laughed for hours.

Then I had to restart and kill the boss again. That made it less funny.

Heh i give names like that to my useless chocobos, i called one ass and then released it

Q: Why is Cloud's hair REALLY so spiky?

A: He never takes a shower, and gets giant cowlicks!

[sephirothishere]

clouds hair is spikey cuz it makes him look all badass.....hahahahahahah.....i know that isnt funny but i remember seein a thing on youtube with a trailer of AC with the subs changed...its funny cuz when they show that scene where tifa is sayin stuff like "your afraid it might turn into something irrocoverable again..."and"those that live alone"and whatever...but in the changed subtitles its like..."you jus stand there lookin all badass...and marlene says"is cloud gonna do something cool..." tifa:"i hope so...something with tons of swords...." and vincent has his own game now....its only a matter of time before barret gets his own game.....hahahahahhahah.....its funny.....you should watch it....i think i found it on this forum...i cant remember the name of it....jus search it...

[sephirothishere]

oh yeh....this is kinda funny...

what kinda women is lucrecia.....she did it with that scummy hojo....she sounds like a real skank....hahahahhah...if i was vincent i wouldnt go near that whore....hahahahahhahhahahahahah

i posted somthing along the lines of this in another thread when i was commeting on the boss fight with hojo on top of mako cannon....it just reminded me....hahahahahahahahahahahaahh

[d£v!l'$ ph0£n!x]

back onto calling people stupid stuff. on one run through i renamed EVERYONE to strupid names. can't remember them all though

cloud - rupert
tifa - pandora
barret - mr. T
aeris - hos
red XIII - can't remember
yuffie - n00b
cait sith - box
vincent - emo
cid - hank

[I Don't Need A Name]

oh yeh....this is kinda funny...

what kinda women is lucrecia.....she did it with that scummy hojo....she sounds like a real skank....hahahahhah...if i was vincent i wouldnt go near that whore....hahahahahhahhahahahahah

i posted somthing along the lines of this in another thread when i was commeting on the boss fight with hojo on top of mako cannon....it just reminded me....hahahahahahahahahahahaahh

no offence, but that REALLY wasnt funny...

[BizarroSephiroth]

Yea, really wasn't........

[boys from the dwarf]

i wish id never read that.

l-losing...will..to live...urgh.

[Dragon Mage]

Yeah, no offense sephirothishere but I didn't see any humor in that. At all. And please don't double post. (That's what the 'edit' button is for. )