Frozen Banana

[Vikeve]

Hannah bana fo fanna fi fai fo fana banana......

[Ouch!]

At a stoplight, green means go, yellow means slow down, and red means stop. For a banana it's just the opposite. Green means hold on, yellow means go right ahead, and red means, dude, where the f*** did you get that banana at?

THE JACKAL

If we're going to turn this into a Mitch Hedberg quote-fest (I love the idea, by the way)...

This product was available for four easy payments of $19.95. I would like a product that was available for three easy payments and one smurfing complicated payment. We can't tell you which payment it is, but one of these payments is going to be a bitch. The mailman will get shot to death, the envelope will not seal, and the stamp will be in the wrong denomination. Good luck, smurfer... The last payment must be made in wampum!

[oddler]

My favorite is the one about buying an item to water your hard-to-reach plants. "Why the [crap] would anyone make their plants hard to reach? I will throw water AT you. Think like a cactus."

[Jojee]

Bananas are one of my favorite fruits! <3 Yams is one of my other favorite fruits too <3

[ljkkjlcm9]

About Parades

People in a parade are cocky. They think they've attracted an audience, but really it's just people waiting to cross the street. I could attract a crowd too if I stood in everyone's way.

If you're watching a parade, don't follow it. It never changes. If the parade is boring, run in the opposite direction. You will fast-forward the parade.

THE JACKEL