Quote Originally Posted by ljkkjlcm9 View Post
Quote Originally Posted by Mitch Hedberg
At a stoplight, green means go, yellow means slow down, and red means stop. For a banana it's just the opposite. Green means hold on, yellow means go right ahead, and red means, dude, where the f*** did you get that banana at?
THE JACKAL
If we're going to turn this into a Mitch Hedberg quote-fest (I love the idea, by the way)...

Quote Originally Posted by Mitch Hedberg
This product was available for four easy payments of $19.95. I would like a product that was available for three easy payments and one smurfing complicated payment. We can't tell you which payment it is, but one of these payments is going to be a bitch. The mailman will get shot to death, the envelope will not seal, and the stamp will be in the wrong denomination. Good luck, smurfer... The last payment must be made in wampum!