Stewie:Well i'd love to stay and chat but your a total bitch!
Stewie:Well i'd love to stay and chat but your a total bitch!
i like this one... it was from the episode where they had to move south and are in the house
Peter: (leaning over looking at tv) Hey look, the animal channel's on (sometin like that, cant remember exactly)... (racoon sitting in tv eating)
:they all crowd around peter:
Racoon: jumps out of tv and onto peter's face (peter grabs racoon trying to pull it off his face while screaming)
Cat in the Hat: Are you sure you don't want me to clean this all up before your parents get home?
Young Peter: Oh, no, no, go. It'll be funny.
This is from the episode where Peter found out that he had black ancestry.
Peter (talking to his ancestor): So, what's heaven like?
Ancestor (don't remember the name): There's a shortage of chairs...... Yyyyeahhhhh.
This is from the episode where they had to move down South I believe.
Boy: They told me that my daddy saw his reflection in the water, and died trying to save himself from drowning.
Chris: That's why my mom doesn't let me near water.
Boy: Well, gotta go.
Chris: (looks in the water) Oh, my God! I'm drowning!
Or something to that accord. That last one's a bit hazy in my memory.
Brian: -slurs his words-
Stewie: "Oh great, you're drunk!"
Brian: "I'm not drunk; I just have a speech impediment."
*vomits
"And a stomach flu"
*falls off of stool
"And-and an inner ear infection."
Family Guy is the shizzle. Seth should stick with it and forget about American Dad.
Brian: "If I remember correctly, this is the Physics Department."
Chris: "That would explain all the gravity."
*Peter and Chris are watching orcas in the ocean.*
Chris: Dad, what's the blowhole for?
Peter: I'll tell you what it's not for, son. And when I do, you'll understand why I can never go back to Sea World.
"Cant touch me
Cant touch me
Just like the bad guy
From Lethal Weapon Two
I got diplomatic immunity
so Hammer you cant sue
Cant touch me
Cant touch me"
"Well excuse me for being retarded" - Peter
LOL i am quoted out
but you guys have carried the torch nicely
***EDIT***
Stewie runs up to the toilet and points at it
You get a job !
Last edited by Fuego; 09-04-2006 at 09:35 PM.
Chuck Noblet: Can anyone tell me the tragic irony of the Trojan War? Tina? Tina: Um, that horses are friendly creatures yet a hollow, wooden one was used to destroy Troy? Chuck Noblet: Wrong and no. Anyone else? Chip? Chip: That the mighty warrior Achilles was killed by a small cut to his ankle. Chuck Noblet: Chip is wronger. OK, here it is. The tragic irony of the Trojan War is that though it was fought over Helen, who was young and beautiful, by the time they rescued her ten years later, she was old and ugly. Tina: But wasn't recovering the king's wife reward enough for the Greeks? Chuck Noblet: Tina, an ugly woman is never a reward.
I already did this thread. Oh well.
*While watching cheerleaders change in a locker room*
Stewie: "Oh my! My wee wee has been striken with rigor mortis."
*After walking in to a bathroom find a cheerleader tied up*
Quaqmire: "Dear diary: Jackpot."
Stewie's catch phrase "What the deuce?"
When Peter was in court over his welfare check fraud
Judge: I'm sentencing you to 24 months in prison. [gavel strike]
Lois Griffin: OH NO!
Brian Griffin: OH NO!
Chris Griffin: OH NO!
Meg Griffin OH NO!
Kool-Aid Man: [breaks in through Court Room wall] OOOOH YEAAAHHH!...
Everyone: [silence]
Kool-Aid Man: [slowly backs out through the hole he made in the wall]
Peter Griffin: Come on. Let's go. Fox is running one of those new reality shows at 8:00. Fast Animals, Slow Children.
[cuts to TV show]:
[Tiger running, jungle music]:
Fat Kid: C'mon guys, wait up
[Tiger running, jungle music]:
Fat Kid: [lunchbox breaks, sandwich falls out] Dang, now I got honey all over my legs.
[Tiger faster running, faster jungle music]:
at a coffin store]
Peter Griffin: I'll take this one. But I won't pay a cent over $60.
Salesman: Sir, that casket costs $1,000.
Peter: Okay, $70.
Salesman: What?
Peter: $2,000.
Salesman: That's twice the cost!
Peter: $40.
Salesman: What?
Brian Griffin: He doesn't know how to haggle
Ronald Reagan: Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall! [talking to the brick wall of a McDonald's ] Tear it down! Reagan smash! [Reagan starts punching the wall]
One Employee: What is that?
Another Employee: Oh, that's just Reagan. Don't worry about it, he tires himself out.
Ronald Reagan: Reagan sleepy. [Reagan gets on the ground to fall asleep]
Now for some words of wisdom:
Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.....hmmm wait just a minute.
Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking
"I get to go to lots of overseas places, like Canada."
- Britney Spears, Pop Singer
From the movie
Al Harrington: Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm Flailing Tube Men ... Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm Flailing Tube Men ... Hi, I'm Al Harrington, President and CEO of Al Harrington's Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm Flailing Tube Man Emporium and Warehouse! Thanks to a shipping error I am now overstocked on wacky waving inflatable arm flailing tube men, and I am passing the savings on to *you*! Attract customers to your business, make a splash at your next presentation, keep grandma company, protect your crops, confuse your neighbours! African American? Hail a cab, testify in church or just raise the roof! Whatever your wacky waving inflatable arm flailing tube man needs, come on down to Al Harrington's Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm Flailing Tube Man Emporium and Warehouse, route two in Weekapaug!
Man #1: [Lois and Peter are watching a Sam Adams commercial on TV] I'll have water, please.
Man #2: I'll have water too, but with lemon, please.
Man #3: I'll have a Sam Adams, please
Man #4: It's 9:30 in the morning!'
Man #1: And don't you have an outstanding DUI?
Man #3: Yeah, but I gotta get the taste of weed and hooker spit out of my mouth.
Man #4: [pause] I'll have a Sam Adams as well.
Sam Adams: Samuel Adams! Always a good decision!
Chris Griffin: Mom! Look at me!
[jumps in pool]
Chris Griffin: How was that?
Lois Griffin: Your third somersault was a little sloppy but what do I know, huh? It's been so long since i qualified for the Olympics.
Chris Griffin: You were in the Olympics?
Lois Griffin: No, I got pregnant with Meg and couldn't go. Now I'm Pro Choice.
Wilfred Brimley: Hi, I'm Wilfred Brimley, and I have diabetes. It hurts me to pee, and it causes me to be short with my family. I can't sleep at night. The other day, I stubbed my toe and took it out on the dog. And two weeks ago, I ran out of vanilla ice cream and struck my wife. Then I find out my wife's been dead for six years. Who the hell did I hit?
Brian Griffin: Wow, look at me! Hanging out drinking with Ernest Hemingway, Van Gogh and Kurt Cobain. Still, it feels like we all got here a little earlier than we should have.
Ernest Hemingway: Yeah, well, I finally collapsed under the weight of my own genius and shot myself.
Vincent Van Gogh: I could not reconcile my passion with the way people around me were living so I shot myself.
Kurt Cobain: I hated the thought of my music become part of some bland corporate mechanism so I shot myself.
Brian Griffin: [sheepish] Yeah I, uh... I got into the garbage and ate some chocolate.
Peter: Save your money, Tucker. This place doesn't have porn. You know, that really grinds my gears. Where in the bible does it say that a man can't fire off some knuckle-children in the privacy of his own neighbor's living room while his neighbor's at work because I don't have a DVD player? Well, I don't know where it says it because the Bible was way too long to read!
Chuck Noblet: Can anyone tell me the tragic irony of the Trojan War? Tina? Tina: Um, that horses are friendly creatures yet a hollow, wooden one was used to destroy Troy? Chuck Noblet: Wrong and no. Anyone else? Chip? Chip: That the mighty warrior Achilles was killed by a small cut to his ankle. Chuck Noblet: Chip is wronger. OK, here it is. The tragic irony of the Trojan War is that though it was fought over Helen, who was young and beautiful, by the time they rescued her ten years later, she was old and ugly. Tina: But wasn't recovering the king's wife reward enough for the Greeks? Chuck Noblet: Tina, an ugly woman is never a reward.
Louis: Peter you're acting like a complete child.
Peter: Well Louis if am a child then your a pedophile. And I'll be damned if I stand here and let you rape me.
(late at night, Brian walks in the door drunk)
Louis: Brian were have you been! Stewie was supposed to be home hours ago.
Brian: Well he was right behind me two hours ago.
Louis: TWO HOURS AGO! (Stewie walks in) Oh my baby!!!
Stewie: You know Brian when you left me at McDonalds for that cab I had to walk home. And.. yeah there's a lot of hungry dear at night. Managed to get my ear out of one of their mouths and into a cup of ice at a 7-11. So when ever you want to apologize talk into the cup.
Peter: Brian how could you be so irresponsible. Stewie could have gotten hurt.
Stewie: My ears in a cup. I guess that doens't count.
Brian: You're not the boss of me! I do want I want!
Stewie: Yeah... I don't need to go to the hospital I'll use this Mr. Potato Head ear.
Peter: Hey, an e-mail from Mr. Pewterschmidt!
*gets punched in the face through the monitor*
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