I have a question for the Men

[Avarice-ness]

I saw this bulletin on Myspace that stereotype'd pretty well and I was wondering how many guys could actually back some of these 'rules' up. Just for the future knowledge of woman kind everywhere.

Guys' Rules

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down

Finally, the guys' side of the story.
(I must admit, it's pretty good.)
We always hear "the rules"
From the female side.

Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!
Please note... these are all numbered "1"
ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem.

See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria 's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of them makes you sad or angry, then we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have n o idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle, besides we know you will bring it up again later.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation,
or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;

But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

Any guys to back atleast one of these up? Maybe with a funny story or something?

[I Took the Red Pill]

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

This one is the best. Some of the rest are true, but I can't say that for all of them.

We have no idea what mauve is

Yeah what the hell's up with mauve?

[DK]

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem.

See a doctor.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of them makes you sad or angry, then we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle, besides we know you will bring it up again later.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

All very true.

[Fuego]

I agree

[Bahamut2000X]

That was one of the most true and completely accurate list ever. I applaud who ever wrote it.

I especially like the itch/scratch rule. ^^

[Resha]

Trust a man to waste time writing out a useless list

[Bahamut2000X]

Useless? >.>

Your just sad cause it's all true. <.<

Scratch rule FTW!!! >.>

[Dr Unne]

[qq=Avarice-ness]Just for the future knowledge of woman kind everywhere.[/qq]

For future knowledge, not all males are simpleminded sports-worshipping tactless cavemen. The list is foolishness.

[Roto13]

I always did think that toilet seat thing was stupid.

[Shlup]

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

--AND--

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

TRUE!

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

But boys also need it down to duce. Therefore, it's more appropriate for it to be down. Not that it has to be down; it's called being considerate. And if you want me to cook dinner for you [read: my husband], you should want me not to have to touch the toilet seat because next time I have to I will not feel inclined to be so considerate as to wash my hands.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

--AND--
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.

My husband doesn't watch sports. v(^_^)

1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

Any girl who thinks shopping is a sport is... dumb. But shopping IS fun so suck it!

1. Crying is blackmail.

...And?

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

True. It's just the way male brains are wired.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

Then if you haven't changed my mind after seven days you forfiet your position and I officially win the argument.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria 's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.

Ew.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

The person who wrote this obviously hasn't talked to many females. A large percentage of thin females think their fat. G'job feeding the monster!

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of them makes you sad or angry, then we meant the other one

True.

1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

That's true for anyone. Especially my husband; he's always asking me to do something and then telling me how to do it.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

Also true for anyone. Interrupt Grey's Anatomy and DIE!

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

When was the last time Christopher Columbus got laid? I don't think there were any women even on that boat.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.

Just as long as you don't sniff it.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle, besides we know you will bring it up again later.

Seriously! Just freaking ask again, lazy asshole!

[The Summoner of Leviathan]

I do not agree with the majority of them. (For those of you who do not know nor looked at a profile, I am a guy).

[Vincent, Thunder God]

I saw these "rules" posted on another forum I used to be at. Unfortunately it was full of cavemen and most agreed with this stereotypical crap, though myself and another member, a highly intelligent medical student (who would probably do better here) disagreed.

I disagree with almost every single point in the "rules". If I could link to said medical student's own post of his personal rules, I would, but the other forum's thread may be too old and I don't think it was archived. In short, most emphasized empathy with the other sex rather than the former rules' narrow-minded, near-sexist brain barf.

[Roto13]

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle, besides we know you will bring it up again later.

Seriously! Just freaking ask again, lazy asshole!

Just be honest the first time.

[Sylvie]

All so very, very true. Even though I don't even have a wife, but I see my dad doing this ALL the time.

[Decessus]

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle, besides we know you will bring it up again later.

Seriously! Just freaking ask again, lazy asshole!

Just be honest the first time.

You just got TOLD.