Your threads are bizarre, but they are the apple of Rye's Eye.

Um... depends. Just mustaches are kind of weird and kind of prepubescent to me. On most guys, I don't like beards. Though on some guys, I think a bit of a beard really cute and really hot if it's only like after a few days.

As for body hair in general, if a guy was totally shaven or waxed or extremely hairy, I would be rather sad. ;__; But I don't mind it if it's a normal amount. Hairy backs sound scary.