The Classic Battle of Pirate v.s. Ninja

[Pant Leg Eater from the Bad World]

My boyfriend's a ninja. :P

OMG! My girlriends boyfriend is a ninja too! What a coincidence!

The ninja could fend the pirate off, but the pirate will always steal the ninja's pants in the process.

My girlfriend is a pirate, and I can vouch for this. I always win, but she always gets my pants off somehow.

Ninjas, on the other hand, could never have a real culture and society of their own because it is against their nature. Pirates are their own masters, and they value freedom and all the good things in life. Ninjas are merely servants to whatever feudal despot or crime boss happens to need an inconvenient target killed. They are no doubt adept at their craft, but this is because they spend most of their time alone, honing only the skills that are useful to their profession. They have no time to 'waste' on civic life or enjoyment of the arts. Pirates, on the other hand, have no illusions about perfecting their methods: they'll prepare for combat enough to defeat most enemies, but they know their limitations. Most importantly, when they're satisfied with their winnings, they'll go home and enjoy them.

Supporting ninjas over pirates is, fundamentally, a sign of a rejection of modernity and a democratic society. We should be suspicious of the proponents of ninja ways.

That is samurai, and samurai suck. Winned.