Any one good with kids? Help me not kill this child.

[My_car_is_faster_than_you]

Okay, I'm not literally thinking of that. But I really would like to beat this kid's face in. This is the absolute worst rotten pill I've ever had to deal with in my life.

I live with an elderly couple in a basement (it's a pretty nice setup actually.) and their children and grandchildren come over EVERYDAY. I'm not exaggerating. Every stinkin day they come over, and their youngest 4 year old is the most ill tempered rotten piece of crap I've ever seen. I want to beat him, and so does his older brother (who's 15.) I'm a nice calm guy, I've had my car stolen, vandalized, I've been robbed, I've been walked on, abused, etc. etc., and I've never lost my cool during any of those situations. He's got a temper that's so short, and cries at anything. If crying doesn't work, he yells at the top of this lungs (which hurts the ears very bad). He yells so much and cries so much that you'd swear this kid is miserable. It's not necessarily the crying and yells that bugs me, but it's the fact that I know why he's crying, and he's not sad or hurt. He just wants what his little heart damn well pleases. Today, I almost strangeled this little kid cause he wouldn't stop hitting his mom hard (who doesn't do anything to him.) Then, what set me off, was when he wanted some chocolate, and his mom gave it to him.

Now, I know that it's a mix of his bad attitude, and him getting his way everytime that makes me want to hurt him. I know that hurting him is wrong, but I don't know what to do with him. I can't get out of the house (nowhere to go), and I can't stop them from coming over. Everday at noon they visit, and usually stay until 3, and then come back after dinner.

Help me, I don't know how to deal with emotional stress like this. I'm not a father, so I don't know what it's like.

[Miriel]

http://abc.go.com/primetime/supernanny/toptenrules.html

The Nanny on that show actually does a really good job of disciplining children without resorting to yelling or physical punishment.

If a child is spoiled rotten and they want their way all the time, just lay down ground rules and stick with it. If the kid doesn't get their way and starts bawling, tell them to stop that or else they're gonna get a time out (or something similar. Super Nanny uses the naughty chair). If they continue to do something bad, you put them on a time out and leave them there for a set amount of time or until they stop crying or apologize or whatever. If they move away from the spot, you take them right back and tell them not to move. They do it again, you take them right back. Over and over again until they get it into their heads that this punishment won't go away until they accept it and sit there for as long as you said they would have to sit there.

You need to be stern with little kids because if you relent, they'll know that they can get whatever they want just by screaming. Don't yield to the kid just for the sake of peace and quiet or because it's easier to give the kid what he wants.

Be firm. Follow through on the punishments. Don't get angry or yell. That just makes things worse.

All these things the parents should be doing. Perhaps you can direct them to ABC so they can watch Super Nanny. It really is an informative show.

[Leeza]

I don't see that there really is much that you can do other than try to stay in your own space when they are over. It's actually not the kids fault that he's acting like this as this is what he's gotten used to doing as no one seems to show him any different. By <i>no one</i>, I mean his parents as it is their responsibility to do so. Maybe the grandparents can do something, but if they also spoil him, then there really is nothing that you can do other than to try and stay out of the way. Do you not have your own room to go to?

Why are they always coming over? This seems very excessive to me.

EDIT: Yes, that's all good advice, Miriel...if you're the parent. Car person is not the parent and even directing them to this site might be something that will offend them and this might make things even worse.

[~*~Celes~*~]

First off, take a huge breath. Then, you need to sit down with the parents and the grandparents and discuss with them how you feel they're not properly taking care of things. Remind them kindly that you're not trying to tell them how to be parents/grandparents, but instead, are trying to offer some constructive criticism. If that doesn't fly too well, talk to the kid. Other than that, I'd say that when they come over, you should find somewhere to hang out until they're gone.

[Arrianna]

Miriel is on the right track and the kid is around the age where if you are not firm there is a problem (as you see).

However as Leeza said, you are not the parent. You can set rules for where you live if you have your own space. You can also talk to the grandparents you live with about your concerns and tell them about the show if it seems apropriate. Between the three of you maybe something can be done. If they are not approachable then you are left with being firm on anything that involves just you. Don't let him get away with anything with you and make it stick. That's it. Sorry.

Put simply you can't dicipline someone elses children without their permission, you can only make rules for your own space. If the grandparents aren't going to set the rules in their home, and the parents won't disipline him or hear of anyone else doing it. you're AWOL.

[Decessus]

Do you live by a ditch?

No one will notice.

[My_car_is_faster_than_you]

Do you live by a ditch?

No one will notice.

Haha, I've felt like it. Anyway, I appreciate the advice and I've calmed down a bit since they've left. They'll be back around 6:30, so I've got to enjoy life right now.

In terms of letting the parents know, they do know, but I can't really intervene. I like living here. If I say anything, I'm afraid of being kicked out. The grandparents (the ones I live with) think the child is rotten too, but they can't just say "don't visit us anymore". So, I just have to keep my cool. I was wondering if you guys had some magic antidotes to cure "fury", like a tranquilizer. Some other people suggested having a punching bag or pillow to let the anger out. I would normally be alright, but they're over so often that it drives me nuts.

They're over cause the grandma has cancer, so they visit whenever they can. It sounds nice, but I know the grandma well, and she'd rather not see the kids. Oh well, I'm moving at the end of October, so I'll just have to not kill anyone until then.

[Giga Guess]

Rope, and duct tape.

[Eiko Guy]

amen brother

[Sylvie]

Theres some of those good ol' bombs as we Mericans call em'.

And then theres the Katana... I ain't going there.

[~*~Celes~*~]

or a tranquilizer

[Rengori]

Go up to him, smack him upside the head, and talk his parents to start disciplining this kid before it gets out of hand.

[Madame Adequate]

http://abc.go.com/primetime/supernanny/toptenrules.html

The Nanny on that show actually does a really good job of disciplining children without resorting to yelling or physical punishment.

You guys have Supernanny over there? She's fantastic, I love her. Seriously, I learn a lot about kids watching her, it's very informative.

[nik0tine]

If he's four perhaps he's easily tricked? Tell him that a monster has moved in and that this monster brutally maims and/or kills children who yell too much. Tell him that if he wakes the monster he'll get his right leg eaten off and that nobody will be there to stop the monster because the monster is stronger than his parents. Get him to believe something like this, and try and use it to your advantage.

Yes, I realize that this is not a moral thing to do, but I don't think you care, do you?

[Sylvie]

Tell him that if he doesn't shut the <!--f***-->[leeza]*snip*[/leeza] up, you're gonna pimp slap his ass. And then force him to watch the Blair Witch Project (which will scare the [img]/xxx.gif[/img][img]/xxx.gif[/img][img]/xxx.gif[/img][img]/xxx.gif[/img] out of him) and then after he's done crying, tell him you're gonna plant him in the woods all alone. If he doesn't shut up, actually set him up. Hang voodoo dolls all over the woods and set him right in the center of it and run.

I'm gonna stop now before I actually do this to somebody.

[leeza]Do not go around the filters. ~ Leeza[/leeza]