The Weapons Man Upstairs; What Is The Meaning Behind This Heinous Lie?

[Alive-Cat]

Here is something that has been troubling me nigh on my whole entire life. (Since 1998, anyway.)
It concerns this "weapons man upstairs" that ol' Tifa mentions when you wake up in Tifa's Seventh Heaven the morning after the first mission.
Tifa says something along the lines of;
"The weapons man upstairs has something to give you! Don't forget!"
This statement would lead me to believe lil' Tifa is talking generally of the upstairs of Tifa's Seventh Heaven.
1. Tifa's Seventh Heaven has no upstairs. It has a basement where operations are planned and a ground floor which serves as a bar. Nothing beyond that.
2. In the only weapons shop in the whole of sector 7, the weapons dealer is, I believe, a woman. And she doesn't give me anything. In fact, she threatens me;
"You can't just leave here without buying something! It might be unhealthy for ya, if ya know what I mean!"
Now, the only possible thing that Tifa's statement could mean is the tutorials available on the second floor of the weapons shop; "Upstairs".
But nobody gives me anything. A guy has an All materia in front of him, I take it, then I get an Ether. At least I think it was an Ether. I'm usually so intoxicated with violent rage at this point that I'm not thinking straight, because I can't find one single blasted weapons dealer.
All of this leads me to believe Tifa is a liar. A filthy, reckless, stupid liar.
Please, someone, anyone, point me in the right direction to discovering this mystery, this twisted web of lies, and get me on the path to enlightenment once more!

[LunarWeaver]

I've always wanted to know what the smurf she was talking about as well

[Alive-Cat]

I'm playing FFVII through again, and I simply REFUSE to play a single second more until I found out the truth!

[f f freak]

I believe tifa means by Weapons man:herself, be something to give you: something to give you, and by upstairs: My breasts.

Put this together and you have: "Don't forget I want to give you my breasts"

[cloud21zidane16]

if you talk to the guy downstairs before you go to sleep he tells you to comeback tommorow, when you go back he says go upstairs, alls it is is an all materia and a bunch of people telling you how to battle and how to save and all the basic rubbish thats easy to learn by yourself anyway

[Jimmy Dark Aeons Slayer]

The weapon man is Barret because he as a weapon stuck to his arm and he as to give Cloud his money.

Ahh...well something like that.

[cloud21zidane16]

youre joking right?

[Jimmy Dark Aeons Slayer]

youre joking right?

The question is what if i´m saying the truth?

[LunarWeaver]

I have come to the conclusion what she actually meant was indeed "Don't forget to go upstairs of the weapons shop and speak with the people there...They will give you a tutorial for the rest of the game."

That's what I'm going with

Tifa speaks in tongues that are...unnatural

[Ryushikaze]

No, she speaks in tongues that were Sony translated, as does Aerith.

This guy... Are sick.

[Kawaii Ryûkishi]

"...Hmm. That's how you'll fool them."

".........Hmmmmmmm. So that's how you fooled them."

"Poo, I uh, mean, Sir...Hurry..."


Consider yourself lucky if you can make it out of Midgar without getting an aneurysm.

[vorpal blade]

Whoever translated that line (about the weapons man) must not have known it was a woman. Or... maybe it was a man. She's not exaclty womany in appearance, y'know.

[Duncan]

I always thought it was a man, but I never really looked that closely.

[Alive-Cat]

I'm 100% certain she's a woman. And anyway, she's downstairs. On the first floor of that building.

[Dr. Acula]

Maybe theres some secret stairs that lead to the second floor of Seventh Heaven, and the guy there gives you the Masamune?

It could happen.