Hello hello hello once again, wonderful world of Eyes on Final Fantasy! It is I, your friendly neighbourhood Site Staffer, DK! You all know me, you've seen me around countless times, admiring my oh so sexy body and soft yet manly lips, rugged jawline, perfectly coifed hair and the rest of that good stuff, no doubt.
But alas! Your heroic friend DK has had some problems of late! Problems with those gorgeous beautiful sexy...women! Yes, everybody should know by now. DK loves women! They're goddesses! Beautiful creatures that I would like to put on a pedistal in my garage and stare at every day. And of course, you know women all over the world love DK. How could they not, what with my being generally perfect in womens eyes the world over! (That's what I think, anyway. )
But yes...recently, it appears women are upset with my ideals! DK can't understand why they are. We all know that women belong in the kitchen...right? Everyone knows that women are naturally programmed to make dinner! It's what god intended them for! Your friendly neighbourhood DK knows this, because he is so perfect that god invited him for tea (served by FEMALE angels!) and told him the secrets of mankind.
Yet, when DK tells this to the women of the world, they get upset! WHY do they get upset with DK? I'm not asking them to pop out a baby or anything, which seems to upset them too for some reason, although I can't imagine WHY myself, DK popped four out before breakfast this morning, see. Using my finely toned abs, incase any of you sexy goddesses were wondering.
But, seriously! WHY do they get so angry? All DK has to do is tell them it's their god given task to slave away over a hot stove and make him food, and occasionally clean the house, and they go stir crazy! IT'S THE NATURAL ORDER OF THINGS, DON'T BLAME THE DK LADIES!
So DK was wondering if you good people could shed some light on the situation for him! DK has to go now and use the stairmaster to tone his already statuesque ass, but have no fear! He'll be back! And hopefully you'll be able to tell him why it is that women hate this so much!
Farewell!