Yeah, confusing if you're not literate enough to distinguish between the words "Trigger", "Fantasy", "Chrono", "Final" and "Cross", as well as not possessing the numeracy skills to count to 8 (or read roman numerals), thus making you unable to notice that Chrono Trigger and Chrono Cross only make two games while Final Fantasy VIII would be five games away if they were part of the same series, meaning the other five games are either missing or only accessible from an emulation site with strange ROMs on them. You know, the same ones with Somari, Kart Fighter and the NES port of Mortal Kombat II.Originally Posted by Tallulah
But I've hit a new theory!
Mike Tyson was in Mike Tyson's Punch Out!! in 1987, but in 1990 he was removed and replaced with Mr. Dream, who would later foreshadow the means by which Squall learns of Laguna's past. Tyson decided to take a gaming sabbattical for about eight years, hence Final Fantasy VIII. However, after noticing that Square were no longer making games for Nintendo, the Nintendo 64 on which he should have appeared instead became the PlayStation, which were black, and white, respectively. Therefore, Tyson, still sporting that awesome tattoo on his face, decided to bone some hooker and catch the disease that made Michael Jackson turn into a white boy, as well as mysteriously regress in age. When he finally emerged from the abyss of cyber-limbo, where video game characters reside in between games, he got a role in FFVIII and changed his name to Zell Dincht in the hopes nobody would notice. Despite Zell's kata performed in his introductory FMV, as well as his Mach Kick and Heel Drop attacks, he wasn't fooling me: The way he hops up and down in his boxing stance and punches the air (no kick in his standard attack? Why not? It wasn't too much for Tifa...) gives it all away.
And you need more proof? Here are some leaked photos of Zell and Tyson that have never been seen before until now! (See, that's a snappy way of saying it because people are in too much suspense to notice the sheer redundancy of "never before until now")
Tyson, in a more euphoric moment, during his time in cyber limbo, sporting a haircut much like Zell's...
And here's "Zell" six months after the game was released; Tyson hated having that much hair for the game but it got him some good money. Notice he's also stopped forcing that infamous grin. Nobody's gonna believe him now!
If you still don't believe me, here's an extreme close-up of my (dad's) pet kitten, Domino. This should sway people because it's gratuitous, pointless, totally irrelevant and further hammers home the notion that my theories are totally unfounded and ridiculous.
In conclusion, I have proven that Final Fantasy VIII is connected to Punch Out!!, and that therefore every single video game in history is somehow connected plotwise. I rest my case!
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