Tell me a joke. (I don't care how dumb it is)

[Lindy]

What's the opposite of Christopher Reeve?

Christopher Walken.

[Decessus]

A joke for the smart people here:

One guys goes in a bar and says, "I want some H2O" The bartender gives him his drinks, he drinks it, and feels refreshed.

Another guy says, "I want some H2O too" The bartender gives him his drink, he drinks it, and dies.

Oh, yes. That took me a while to get.

[Dreddz]

Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice ?


Because it said concentrate.

[Goldenboko]

This thread asks 2 questions.

What is the best joke you've ever heard...

And what is the worst joke you've ever heard?

I can't pick a best, but the worst is definitly when someones joke is failing so they yell out your mom.

[Old Manus]

Wenn ist das Nunstück git und Slotermeyer? Ja! ... Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput.

[Spammerman]

Donald Rumsfeld is giving the president his daily briefing. He concludes by saying, "Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed in an accident."

"OH DEAR GOD NO," Bush exclaims. "That's terrible!!"

His staff sits stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching as the president sits, head in hands. Finally, the President, devastated, looks up and asks, "How many is a Brazillion??!"

[Rye]

My Chem teacher told me a funny music joke.

A man went to the grave of Bethoveen and saw him erasing his famous music. The man asked him what he was doing, and Bethoveen replied: "I'm decomposing!"

[Vermachtnis]

How does a blonde try to kill a fish?
By drawning it

How does a blonde try to kill a bird?
By throwing it off a cliff

What's the difference between bigfoot and an intellegent blonde?
People have claimed to see bigfoot

How do you kill a blonde?
By placing a mirror at the bottom of a pool

[Imperfectionist]

Why are pirates called pirates?
Because they ARRR.

Two muffins in an oven.
Muffin no.1: God, it's hot in here!
Muffin no.2: AAARRGGHH A TALKING MUFFIN!!

What do you call a broken boomerang?
A stick.

And my favourite,
3 penguins in a bath, one of them says "pass the soap"

....BA DUM CHSHHH...

[Jess]

I'm the worst person for remembering jokes. You could tell me a joke and I'd forget it 20 minutes later!

[Cloudane]

Arf Damn my chemistry GCSE

Another geek one:

There are 10 types of people in this world: those who understand binary, and those who don't.

[Freya]

Ok here ya go it' might be a little offensive though so correct me if it shouldn't be on here.
(SPOILER)So there's this little boy walking down the street. Behind him he's dragging a dead frog by a string. He goes In the grocrey store, still draging the frog. He goes downtown, still has the frog. He goes to a "lady of the night" house, dragging the frog. He goes up to the counter, "I want you're most diseased girl you have."
The lady at the counter looks at him wired but gives him a room anyway. He comes out a little while later and she asks, "Why'd you do that boy? You just threw your life away."
He looks at her and sighs, "Well i'm going to go home and ___ my babysitter. Then my dad will take my babysitter home and before she goes inside my dad will ___ her. My dad will then come back home and ____ my mom. Who the next day will ___ the mailman. And that's the guy who ran over my frog."
I think you should know what the blanks are.

[Sylvie]

I made this one up. (as far as I know.)

How did the Asian feel when he came to America?


Disoriented.

[Kyri]

A joke for the smart people here:

One guys goes in a bar and says, "I want some H2O" The bartender gives him his drinks, he drinks it, and feels refreshed.

Another guy says, "I want some H2O too" The bartender gives him his drink, he drinks it, and dies.

That made me laugh. o_o

[vorpal blade]

A joke for the smart people here:

One guys goes in a bar and says, "I want some H2O" The bartender gives him his drinks, he drinks it, and feels refreshed.

Another guy says, "I want some H2O too" The bartender gives him his drink, he drinks it, and dies.

That made me laugh. o_o

Same here. Good one.

If you play satanic music backwards, do you get hymns?

Sign for the Good Health Store: Cigarettes Sold Here
(seriously, not making it up)

I vehemently oppose prostitution. Why should I pay? Whatever happened to free love?