As tempting as it is, please don't use the Wiimote to trick Ken Kutaragi to strangle himself.


Please conserve your Gatoraide since Wii gameplay requires alot of energy. Drink some yourself and empty the rest of the bottle in the disc slot of your Wii.


Falling in love with your Wii may cause the Wiimote to shoot lightning bolts


If your Wii starts smoking please make sure it smokes only light 100s.


If your Wii should live as a homeless chain smoker be sure to give it a nickle and send it on it's way.


If you find a Leprechaun lodged inside your Wii be sure to prod it with a four leafed clover in hopes it comes out.


When your child gets tired of the Wii he can have fun with the plastic bag and play 'Space Man'.


Old broken Hootie and the Blowfish CDs can be repaired with electical tape, hot glue, and human semen.


Do not, under any circumstances, leave your Wii next to your bags of drity laundry


When your Wii console shivers it's telling you that the evil snow man with a Fez and your space heater are out to kill you. Be prepared.


Stepping on a Wiimotes nunchuck will cause your heel to shoot bolts of lightning.