The Mystery of the Pink Chocobo: Solved

[Chemical]

It was a dank and dreary evening; you know, one of those days you wish the secretary would warm up your buns, your cinnamon buns. The time couldn't pass any slower and here I was working on the case of the stolen Ciddie; a kid's crime really and I already knew who did it but papa needs a new Nintendo DS and had to stay on the clock.

Then like a flare up of herpes she came into my life; unexpectedly and she made me burn up under the collar. Her name was <i>Chemical</i>, the kind of girl "you'd bring home but not to your momma." The world was black and white except for those ruby red lips, a pop eye's candy cigarette dantily pressed between them. She sat at the edge of my desk, Hmmm maybe I'll have rump roast for dinner... in any case this dame was hot.

"I need a favour Dick, I need you to do me a personal favour." She said, And I swear if I didn't already know that ShlupQuack did it I would have sworn that this dame was the real theif of the Most Sexiest Female Ciddie. I tossed the files I was working on to the side, played it real cool blowing on my vintage Sherlock Holmse bubble pipe. "Yes, Miss, I'll do anything to get... I mean I'll do anything to help you."

"I need you to solve the case of the Pink Chocobo. Very peculair case Mr. Dick and you see I don't trust no one but the best... and well you see Mr. Dick it's like this. I think all the girls at EoFF are getting offed - I'm the only dame left and I fear for my life. I need you to keep me safe."

Clearly this dame wasn't all that bright, everyone who was anyone knew that the chocobos beside the name don't show gender; they showed the user online status and this girl was invisible. But she didn't have to know that, not yet anyways. So if you'll you excuse me I have a beautiful idiot to hide <s>in my pants</s>.


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Yeah so laugh it up you jerks.
But you can't laugh forever!